21 Days
by mvaded007
Summary: Tara has 21 days to pack her father's stuff before starting a new job in TX. Beginning with a trip to a remote market & a gun to the head, Tara is in for a wild ride when Jax saves her. Tara is running from a murderous gang & discovering that Jax is a different man. If he can keep them alive long enough, they might rediscover their love or die trying. ROMANTIC COMEDY/THRILLER AU
1. Chapter 1

2

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 1 **

**DAY 1: Shopping Can Be Hazardous to Your Health**

Jax needed a cigarette bad. He'd been trying to quit and he'd made it eight days without a smoke, but today his willpower was wavering. He was feeling twitchy, but it had been a tough day in the MC.

He decided he would buy a pack and only have one cigarette or maybe two, but three tops every day until the pack was gone. This was the last pack he was ever going to buy. This time was _the_ last time unlike the last last time.

He was a few miles outside Charming in a scruffy area of the county that was a testament to California's failing government and high taxes. Small businesses opened and closed regularly. In the last few years, no one had even tried to start a business. Building after building stood empty and dilapidated.

There was a small market on the corner that sold cigarettes, liquor and a few basic groceries. It was the only business in a mile. He parked his bike behind a towering oleander bush and headed inside.

He was looking in the refrigerated section for a drink when he heard several people enter the store and then the unmistakable sound of automatic weapons fire. He dove behind a shelf of canned vegetables, reached into his cut and took out his gun flipping the safety off.

There was a shotgun blast followed by a burst of automatic weapons fire and the sound of two bodies hitting the ground.

Jax scanned the market looking for the gunmen and a way out. He saw one of the shooters dressed in black. He took the shot hitting the man in the head and dropping him to the ground.

To the left he heard a scuffle and a muffled scream. This wasn't good. There could be a hostage. No sound of a body hitting the floor, so that was good.

He tried to recall the sounds of the people coming into the market to figure out how many gunmen there were left alive. He'd killed one and two bodies hit the floor, one gunman and the clerk with the shotgun he guessed. There was at least one more gunman.

"Come out or I'll kill her," a man's voice called.

Jax moved silently around another aisle packed with toilet paper and paper towels. He'd found the man that was speaking. The man was standing at the front of the store behind the store's cigarettes. The woman turned and he caught a glimpse of her face. Tara. The man's Glock was pressed against her head right above the ear.

"Come out and lay your gun down and I'll let her live. I'm going to count to five. One. Two. . ."

Jax squeezed off a single round. Tara screamed.


	2. Chapter 2

3

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 2 **

**DAY 1: It Had to be You**

It took a split second for Tara to realize the bullet struck the man holding the gun to her head. She stepped away from the man as he collapsed to the ground.

The shooter stepped out from behind an aisle of paper towels. She couldn't believe her eyes. Of all the people in the world to rescue her, it had to be Jax Teller.

The ten years that had passed looked good on him. He was a little taller, the lanky teen body was filled out and more muscular, his shaggy blonde hair was shorter, but his eyes were still that burn a hole through you laser blue.

If she were Shakespeare she might come up with a clever line about the cruelty of fate, but she wasn't instead she thought that life sucked. Given a choice between seeing Jax or taking a bullet to the head, she wasn't sure which she'd prefer.

Jax sprinted to the front of the store and looked out the grimy dirt smeared windows taking care not to be seen from outside.

"We need to get out of here. Another car just pulled up."

"Maybe they can help."

Jax shook his head and swore under his breath. Tara remembered this well from when they were together. This was another thing that hadn't changed.

"They have guns and they'll kill us. We need to get to the back door and get the hell out of here."

Four men had gotten out of the car, two with AKs and two with handguns. Tara stood there dazed, feet from the man that Jax had just shot, still trying to process the multiple traumas of being held hostage and being rescued by the ex-love of her life.

Jax grabbed her hand and pulled her down the aisle of paper goods just as three men stormed into the store, two with AKs and one with a hand gun.

"What the hell happened?" one of the men asked.

"Stay at the front door. You take the back door," a second man ordered, "and I'll see if there's anyone left to kill."

Jax grabbed a can of tuna fish from the next aisle.

"Once I throw this, we're going to run to the back door and I'll get the guy there. Stay behind me."

Jax tossed the can low. He wanted to draw the man searching for them away, so he would only have to deal with the guy on the back door. He shot the guy near the back door in the chest before he could even react. He shoved the man away from the door so his body wouldn't block the exit. He opened the door and they ran. Tara wasn't as fast as Jax. He grabbed her hand and pulled her along.

"Where are we going?" Tara asked.

"Behind the oleanders to my bike," Jax replied.

They reached the bushes. Jax handed his helmet to Tara before getting on his bike and starting it. She automatically put the helmet on and pulled the strap tight just like old times.

"Hold tight."

Tara got on the bike and wrapped her arms tightly around Jax. He still smelled the same, a mix of soap, citrus and something else that she'd never been able to identify.

He drove the bike along the back side of several closed businesses before finally steering the bike onto the street. The car was waiting and immediately began chasing after them.

Tara had no idea how fast they were going, but it was the fastest she'd ever gone on his bike and she'd spent a lot of time on the back of his bike. The car kept up with them. As they rounded the corner, she saw one of the men in the backseat, leaning out of the window and shooting a hand gun.

This was just like Charming. Just when you think it can't get any worse, it always does. Nothing says welcome home like high velocity blood splatter on your clothes and bullets flying through the air.


	3. Chapter 3

2

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 3**

**DAY 1: **_**Short Time Death Squad (STDs)**_

Jax expertly pushed his bike to its limits to get clear of the car chasing them. He turned the bike down a busy road hoping that might deter the guy shooting at them. It didn't. He wove the bike in and out of the stopped gridlocked traffic and finally got clear of the car without either he or Tara getting shot.

He could feel Tara shaking. He wondered how much of that was from cold and how much was from fear. She'd never make the trip to Charming in the thin white blood splattered T-shirt she was wearing. It wasn't a problem at the moment because she was pressed tight against him hiding the blood.

He found a Walmart and parked his bike to the side of the building. He got off his bike.

"Here," he said curtly, holding his hoodie out to Tara. "Put it on."

She had a cross body bag that she removed and put on the ground as she took the hoodie and put it on. Jax grabbed her bag and rifled through it removing her phone, wallet and ID.

"What the hell are you doing?" she demanded.

"Removing temptation," he said. "I'm going inside to get you a jacket. Stay outside with my gun. The safety's on. You remember how to handle a gun?"

"Yes, but why do I have to stay outside?"

"Because I don't want to bring the gun inside and by the way you're welcome."

He put his handgun in her bag taking care to screen his actions from the view of any of the cameras in the parking lot.

"I'm welcome for what?"

"I saved your life twice back there."

"You're the reason I needed saving," she said hotly.

"What the hell do you mean by that?" his blue eyes flashed with anger.

"The guys with the guns were after you. It's MC violence."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I wasn't the target and this isn't MC violence. Jumping to conclusions based on no facts," he said shaking his head with disgust. "So fucking typical. Some things never change."

"They were out to kill."

"Yes, that's why they're called the Short Time Death Squad or the STDs. Don't you watch the news?"

"I've lived the last few years in Chicago."

"You can google Short Time Death Squad later. I'll be back in ten minutes."

"We need to call the police and report what happened."

"OK, let's pretend that's an option for me. What exactly can we say that's going to help the police? You think about that and we'll talk about it when I get back."

He walked off and into the store. It wasn't until she saw him disappear inside that she remembered he'd searched her purse and taken her phone, ID and money. Son of a bitch! She'd fallen for his old trick of doing something outrageous and then diverting her attention. How could she have fallen for that trick again? Apparently she hadn't learned a damned thing from the past.

Jax lips curved in a faint smile. Tara was still so damned easy to trick.

**Author's Note: There wasn't enough room when I wrote the summary for this story, but this Jax found JT's manuscript shortly after he and Tara broke up. This caused a profound and monumental change in Jax.**

**Next Up: **_**Jax Moves in Mysterious Ways**_


	4. Chapter 4

6

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 4**

**DAY 1: Jax Moves in Mysterious Ways**

Jax walked swiftly into Walmart heading for the outside area that sold gardening supplies. It was February so there would be few if anyone outside. He was right. He was the only person. He reached into his cut and took out the phone making sure he had the correct one before making the call.

Without identifying himself, he quickly and succinctly briefed the person on the other end of the call on the events at the market including providing the license plate of the car that chased them.

"You need to keep your name out of this."

"I know that," Jax said impatiently. "It won't be a problem. The woman is an ex of mine. I can get her to cooperate."

"Hopefully, you knocked these bastards off their game and they've made mistakes."

"That was my hope too."

Jax ended the call, put the phone in the opposite pocket of his cut and took the other phone out. He quickly placed a call to Clay. He gave him a brief recap of events and told him they needed to have an emergency club meeting.

He left the garden area and went to the men's clothing section and grabbed two dark blue hoodies both in large and paid for them. He got two coffees from the McDonald's inside to help them warm up before the ride back to Charming.

Tara was still standing by his bike shaking. She couldn't have come at a worse or more dangerous time in his life. Once he convinced her not to call the police, he shouldn't have to see her again.

"Hold both coffees while I cut the tags off the jackets," Jax said.

He didn't use the long bladed knife he wore strapped to his waist. He reached into his pocket and took out the small pocket knife. As he opened it, he remembered that this was the knife that Tara had given him. Funny, he'd sort of forgotten that until now.

"I can't believe you got large jackets," she said.

"I got you a large so you could keep my hoodie on over it."

"Oh," she said softly. "Won't you need the hoodie back?"

"I have a heavy shirt on with a thermal shirt under it. I'll be fine with just a hoodie. I don't know what you were thinking not wearing a jacket."

"I'm in Charming less than a day and I've already lost my ability to think," Tara said drily.

Jax put on his new hoodie over his cut. Being more anonymous seemed safer. He held the coffees while Tara put on one of the hoodies over the hoodie he'd given her.

"This one's yours," he said handing her one of the paper cups.

"You remember how I like my coffee," she said after taking a sip.

"I remember a lot," Jax said easily, shrugging off the compliment. "How did you get to the market?"

"Mrs. Robertson who lives across the street gave me a ride. She was going to visit her daughter for a couple of days in Oakland."

"She hates you."

"I was surprised when she offered to give me a ride. I don't think she hates me."

"No one would leave someone at that market if they cared at all about the person. That area is dangerous. It's called Charmless. Didn't you wonder why all the businesses were gone?"

"It was nice when I lived in Charming. I loved going to that Mexican market. I was going to get some food to bring back to the house with me."

"How were you getting back?"

"I was going to get an Uber or a Lyft when I was ready to go back. What happened to the market?"

"It was sold and an Asian market was opened with Asian deli foods. It got closed down by the health department. The last five years or so it's been a liquor store and market. No ride share service is coming to Charmless. The bus drivers' union refused to stop in that area unless they had an armed security guard on the bus. It's highly dangerous especially for women."

"Mrs. Robertson didn't tell me any of this stuff. What a bitch!"

"I'll bring you home and we'll tear her grass up with my bike."

Tara smiled. She would enjoy doing that and when she thought of something meaner that would equal her almost getting killed that she could do to Mrs. Robertson, she would do that too.

"I'd like that a lot."

The silence stretched awkwardly between them.

"Did you give any thought to what I said about not calling the police?" he asked.

"Not really."

"If you contact the police, you're running a big risk that your identity will get out and these guys will come for you," Jax said.

"Can't they keep that secret?"

"Do you trust the government to keep anything secret?"

"Good point. Fine. There really is nothing that I can tell them and if they figure out I was there, I'll just tell them the truth that I was afraid to say anything. Who are these people again?"

"Short Time Death squad or the STDs. They are a group of spree killers. No one knows who is part of the group or how they recruit members. During the first event, one of the members killed another. It may have been friendly fire. Sometimes automatic weapons get away from the user when they first start using them. The guy turned out to be someone who had been diagnosed with advanced cancer. The name came from some reporter because the guy had a short time to live and they were bringing death."

"I thought Chicago was bad," Tara said shaking her head.

"Chicago _is_ bad."

"I lived and worked in the suburbs. I felt insulated from the city's violence. Today, I come to an area that I thought was safe, that I'd been to many times and almost die."

"California isn't the same place. It's falling apart."

"Thank you for saving me."

"You're welcome."

"I know you hate me and everything, but do you think you could forget that for a moment? I'm still shaken from getting a gun put against my head and everything else that happened. I really need to be held just for a few seconds."

"I don't hate you that much. If I did, I would have waited until the guy shot you before killing him," Jax said with a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Would you mind for just a few seconds?"

Jax didn't reply. He took the empty cups and put them in the bag that had contained the hoodies and shoved them into one of the saddlebags on his bike.

"Come here," he said gruffly.

He wrapped her in his arms and held her until she quit shaking.

"You never asked me for what you wanted or needed before. You used to expect me to just know and then you'd get mad when I couldn't read your mind."

Tara didn't say anything. In addition to asking for what she wanted, she'd also learned that she didn't have to comment on everything Jax said.

"I think there's an old pair of gloves in the pocket of my jacket," Jax said.

Tara unzipped the new jacket and dug in the pockets of Jax's old hoodie. She found a pair of gloves and put them on. She realized just how old the jacket was it was when she felt in the pockets. There had been a hole in his right front pocket. She'd sewn the hole up and added to the inside of the pocket a small embroidered patch she'd found at a craft store of two red hearts linked together so when he put his hand in his pocket he would think of her. She wondered how many times he'd thought of her over the years.

Once they were back at her father's house, he gave her back her phone, wallet and ID. He didn't say anything about seeing her again and he hadn't even asked her why she was back in town or for how long. Of course, he didn't care about her. They'd hated each other at the end.

She rummaged through her father's cupboards for food. His house had been empty for a couple of months, so food was spoiled except the canned stuff. She ate a can of ravioli for dinner and tried to sort through her father's belongings.

The events of the day had shaken her. It was less about the bullets and more about Jax. There wasn't any point in thinking about him. They were done as a couple.

She didn't think she'd ever get to sleep. After spending hours tossing and turning, she'd gotten up and gone in the living room to watch videos on her father's old VCR. She must have dozed off at some point because she woke with a start when she heard someone banging loudly at the door.

She knew before she looked out the door's peephole that it was Jax and she knew something bad had happened. That was the only reason he could have for pounding at her door.


	5. Chapter 5

5

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 5**

**DAY 2: Just Ask**

Tara opened the door and let Jax in the house. It wasn't the first time he woke her up banging at her door.

Too many memories that hurt hit her. Every memory that included Jax hurt, but that had more to do with the crashing and burning of their relationship than the actual memory itself.

"Why are you banging my door?" Tara asked.

Jax chuckled at her turn of phrase. New Tara was a little more quick witted than old Tara.

"I wish I had good news," he said.

"No one wakes you up with good news," Tara said. "It's always just a matter of how bad."

"There's a news story about what happened. They have a picture of us and law enforcement is asking for help in identifying us. They don't believe we killed anyone, but they think we might have information."

"How good is the picture?"

"Good enough that we could be ID'd. You should leave town right away."

This older version of Jax was not what she expected. He was remote and distant. Cold. This wasn't the hot-tempered, impulsive Jax Teller. Maybe this cooler more controlled Jax was an improvement.

"I came back to pack up my dad's house and put it on the market. I need to do that."

"Can't you change your schedule?"

"I start a new job in Dallas in a few weeks. I need to get everything done here in that time."

Jax shook his head.

"You need to leave."

"I think we should tell the police the truth. I know with the MC and all, you can't go to the police, but I can do it. I can tell them everything they need to know. You saved my life and you had to kill those guys or we would be dead."

"I'm not worried about the cops or the MC's stand on cooperation with law enforcement. I'm more concerned that when our identities get out, we will become targets."

"So are you saying we were targeted? Why would anyone want to kill me?"

"Because who wouldn't want to kill me?" Jax asked drily.

"I thought it might be MC stuff."

Jax shook his head.

"I told you that this isn't MC related. Not all violence and murders are related to MCs. In fact, statistically speaking, most murders aren't," Jax said with some sarcasm.

"I'm not saying that all murders are connected to MCs," Tara said. "I just don't see why someone would target me."

"The STDs posted a statement twenty minutes ago saying that a man and woman only temporarily escaped death. They will find us and kill us because no one escapes death. We aren't being targeted for who we are. It doesn't matter to them who we are. The only thing that matters to them is that we escaped their death and they now are personally targeting us."

Jax knew more than he could safely tell Tara. The men that he had killed in the market had been identified. They were all men who had less than a year to live due to various illnesses.

Everything fit into the belief that the Short Time Death Squad was a group made up of people who had terminal illnesses and instead of finding God and becoming better more spiritual people, this group wanted to kill.

The places they selected all had no camera systems and no security. They sent in two teams. The first team killed and the second team killed anyone the first team missed. They used a combination of automatic weapons and hand guns.

It was unknown how many people were in the STDs and how they recruited. There was a little optimism that the identities of the men killed in the market could help them find some kind of connection that might lead law enforcement to the killers, but it would take a lot of manpower to rundown leads.

"Is it possible that I could just . . ." Tara broke off. She realized that it didn't make sense to think she could hide in her father's house. "What are you going to do?" she asked.

"We need to assume that we will be ID'd. SAMCRO's concerned that they will ID me and then come to Charming. That could end in a shoot out on the streets of Charming. The MC has a cabin in the mountains. I'm going to spend a few days. This last attack has people shaken especially in Charming because it was so close. People in town will recognize my picture. Sooner or later, the STDs will ID me."

"Jax Teller hiding," Tara said with a smile. "I never thought I would hear that."

"Strategic camouflage," Jax said.

"Old Jax would have gotten angry at me for saying that," Tara said.

"We don't really know each other anymore," Jax said coolly. "And it's about protecting the town from a gun battle on its streets. It isn't about my ego"

"Maybe I could hide some place for a few days."

"Where are you planning to go?" Jax asked.

Tara tried not to think about suggesting she go to the cabin with him. It made the most sense. If these lunatics were going to come after them because they escaped an attack and Jax was leaving Charming to protect the city, it made sense to think that anyone helping her hide could be risking his or her life. She didn't want to bring that danger to someone.

"I don't know. I'll have to rent a car and figure it out from there. It's really bad that these people might come after anyone that helps me."

"Now you understand why I'm going to a cabin in the mountains."

"I guess if I left my father's place for a few days, it would be OK."

"Just ask," Jax said.

"Ask what?"

"Tara, you know you want to," Jax said impatiently. "Just ask."

"I don't really want to go with you, but anyone else I'll bring danger to and you're already in danger," Tara said.

"You might want to work on your tone of voice. Sound a little grateful," Jax said. The sarcasm was back.

"Can I go to the cabin with you for a few days?" she asked sweetly.

Jax rubbed his hand over his beard in a pretense of thought.

"I guess it's the gentlemanly thing to do. There is one rule."

"What's that?"

"I'm not interested in dwelling on the past and that includes talking about it."

"That's more than fine with me."

"Good. Pack a bag. I'll come by for you in a half hour."

"How are we getting to the cabin?"

"A four wheel drive SUV. It may snow, so pack any warm clothing you have."

"Does the cabin have electricity?"

"Yeah, the off the grid reference means that it isn't tied to the MC in any way."

"It's kind of a hide out."

"It _is_ a hide out. Don't tell anyone where you're going."

"I don't have anyone to tell anyway."

"And one last thing. I'm not letting you come with me because you're my ex. I'm letting you come with me _despite_ the fact you're my ex. Are we clear on that?"

"Absolutely."

She knew returning to Charming would be hell on earth; it turned out that she'd been too optimistic.


	6. Chapter 6

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 6**

**DAY 2: The STDs Are a Different Kind of Social Disease**

Tara hadn't unpacked last night, so it took her less than ten minutes to pack for her short stay at the mountain hide away. Her jacket that she'd worn in Chicago would work perfectly for a snowy mountain cabin.

Jax was the last person in the world that she wanted to spend time alone with in a mountain cabin. She hoped that he was over reacting to the situation, but after ten minutes of research using her smart phone, she realized that Jax's concerns were well founded.

The STDs had begun storming small businesses and killing everyone inside about four months ago. During that time, they had killed almost seventy-five people averaging seven kills per store. People were scared about they had already done, but the greater fear was that the STDs were working up to something bigger, maybe working up to killing everyone inside a large market or mall.

Tara had even found the picture that was circulating on the news and internet of her and Jax on his bike. Jax's face was clearly visible, but she'd been behind him in the photo from a traffic camera. She might not be as easy to identify, but once Jax was ID'd, it wouldn't take long to work out her ID. Anyone who knew them ten years ago would recognize her. There were even pictures of them together on his bike from back then.

There was one small piece of luck. None of the traffic cam footage showed the back of Jax's cut. She was holding onto him too tight. The back of his cut would help the STDs narrow the search for Jax to SAMCRO. They should at least have enough time to get to the mountain hideout before the STDs got Jax's name.

There was a huge amount of federal, state and local agencies trying to find the STDs. Surely with the men that Jax had killed they would find a link between them and then figure out how to hunt the STDs down. Was that likely to happen quickly?

She might have to come up with a plan if she couldn't get her father's house packed up and put on the market in the next three weeks. Worse case, she could just have everything transferred to a storage facility maybe near Dallas and she could go through things there. She could then get the house on the market.

If she left for Texas, would that keep the STDs from coming after her? If the hospital in Dallas found out that a homicidal group was targeting her, would they be OK with her working there? They might want to wait until the STDs were caught. For a minute, the silliness of the name made her laugh. This was the first time that people wanted to catch STDs.

There was a bright side. There was always a bright side if you looked hard enough. If the STDs were a group of killers with terminal diseases, they would all eventually die. If law enforcement didn't catch them, their terminal illnesses would.

Tara decided to just focus on getting through the next couple of days with Jax. After that, she'd figure things out. Maybe she would get lucky and the cops would catch the STDs.

Jax returned and helped her with her luggage and bags.

"You need this much stuff for a couple of days?"

"I just brought my suitcase from Chicago. I also have my laptop and my doctor's bag."

"Doctor's bag? You really went on to become a doctor?"

Tara hid her disappointment that he hadn't followed her academic career. Stupid, Tara! Why would he care about her education?

"Yeah, I'm a neo-natal surgeon."

"Congratulations. I always knew you were destined for bigger things than Charming."

Tara didn't say anything. They were veering dangerously close to mentioning the past. She was even less enthusiastic about rehashing the past than Jax.

"It's funny not that much has changed about Charming. No big box retailers or fast food chains. No big tracts of housing. It all feels familiar." Suddenly she saw something she never imagined she would see, a van with a sign that read "SAMCRO Security Services" driving down the street. "What's that?"

"Just what it says. We've diversified into security services. We install security systems for homes and businesses and monitor the alarms. We'd see burglars on the cameras, pay them a visit and dissuade them from continuing in a life of crime. We have a 95% record of getting stolen property back.

"The business is about three years old. SAMCRO's customers have the lowest rate of being burglarized in the state and Charming continues to be the safest city in the state."

"It looks like all the crime got pushed to that area we were in yesterday."

"Charmless? Yeah, it's a bad area. The residents want Charming to annex it. Charming wants no part of it because they will just suck up police services."

"What's going on with Donna and Opie? She and I used to talk, email and text but I just quit hearing from her about seven years ago. I thought maybe she got busy or she just didn't want to stay in touch anymore."

"You don't know about Opie and Donna?"

"Obviously I don't or I wouldn't have asked. What happened?"

"They're both dead."

Tara turned her head and stared at Jax. Donna and Opie had been dead for seven years and she'd had no idea.


	7. Chapter 7

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 7**

**DAY 2: Casualties of MC Violence**

Jax was surprised that Tara hadn't heard about Donna and Opie, but she had no reason to know what was going on in Charming. Donna was about the only person she was on good terms with when she left.

"Opie and Donna had gone into Oakland for a special dinner to celebrate their anniversary. Donna was pregnant with their first child. The next week, they were going to a doctor's appointment to hear the baby's heartbeat.

"We'd been beefing with another MC. Some idiot prospect of theirs saw Opie and shot at him. Opie returned fire, the bullet ricocheted and hit Donna."

"That's horrible."

"Donna hovered between life and death. Four days later, he was told he needed to let her go. She was on life support, but she had no brain function. The baby was too small to try to save."

"I'm so sorry. Poor Opie. I wish I'd known."

"What would you have done, Tara?" Jax asked coldly.

Tara flinched at his tone of voice.

"Not a damned thing. Happy now?"

"Yeah, ecstatic."

"What happened to Opie?"

"He blamed himself. Got consumed with wanting revenge. He took risks that he shouldn't and eventually it killed him. I couldn't reach him. Piney tried. Even Gemma tried to help him. He didn't want to be helped."

Tara felt awful. If those closest to Opie couldn't help him, she couldn't be so arrogant to believe that she could have said or done something to save him.

"I'm just so sorry that all that happened. I'm sure that left a big hole in your life."

Jax didn't say anything. Tara studied him, her eyes concealed by sunglasses. It hit her then that he'd disguised himself. He'd pulled his blonde hair back in a short ponytail and then tucked it under a navy blue baseball cap. He was also wearing aviator sunglasses concealing his blue eyes. It wasn't a bad disguise. To a casual observer, he wouldn't immediately match the traffic cam picture. He was still wearing his cut. She wondered if he would continue to do that if he found out the STDs knew he belonged to SAMCRO.

"How are Gemma and Clay?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Sure."

Jax looked over at her and shook his head. She couldn't read his expression well enough to know definitely, but she thought he looked annoyed.

"What? I'm just being polite," Tara said.

"You don't need to be. This isn't a social occasion. You don't need to worry about making a good impression on me. We're past that."

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to be civil. We've got to spend a couple of days together. There's no point in making it unpleasant."

"There's no point in making it anything."

Tara gave up at least for a little while. This version of Jax was definitely worse than the version she knew. If the circumstances were different, she would just leave and go somewhere on her own.

That might be a better option, but it seemed like a good idea to give law enforcement a couple of days to round up the STDs. She could then finish going through her father's house.

She didn't call out Jax over his behavior. He had what she needed—a place to stay without worrying about her presence causing death to someone else. If she annoyed him too much, he could kick her out of the cabin. She just needed to get through a couple of days.

She wasn't surprised that Opie was dead. She knew that it was only a matter of time before Jax ended up in prison or dead. Even back when she was in Charming, she saw his future and she'd tried to save him. He was like Opie though; he didn't want saved or helped.

Gemma had to know how Jax was going to end up. That was what used to make her so crazy mad. It made her crazy and mad at the same time because Gemma didn't see what was so clear. She had to see that her precious son wasn't going to die of old age. He was going to die violently, but Gemma wasn't very smart. She might believe that her son would be too smart to die in jail and too lucky to be murdered.

Gemma had this idea that SOA was a dynasty and she was its mother. Her son would lead it some day and her grandson would the lead it when he existed and it came time. The presidency of SAMCRO would be passed down from father to son and Gemma would be worshipped as the queen. Well, that was informative. Turned out she still hated Gemma.

Gemma's relationship with Jax had always seemed creepy to her. Her family wasn't big on hugging and kissing and Jax's family—well just Gemma really—carried it too far. The kissing and the hugging was just excessive.

She'd taken French in high school because she loved the beauty of its spoken language. Her teacher Mr. Taylor explained that in France, family doesn't kiss on the lips because that's for lovers. That was when she really began to notice just how much Jax and Gemma kissed—and on the lips. She wondered if Gemma kissed her father like she kissed Jax and what her mother had thought about it.

Stupid. She was getting sucked back into the past. It was unproductive thought on a subject that she didn't want to think about anymore.

They drove in silence, the radio on to fill in the silence. Each time news came on about the most recent STD killings, Jax changed the radio station. If only she could quick thinking about it that easily.

"We need to get some food for the cabin."

"I don't mind cooking. I've been learning to cook Texas. I can make chicken fried steak, Texas chili, brisket. All kinds of stuff."

"Great," Jax said. "I'll make lunches and breakfast."

Tara was immediately suspicious. Jax didn't know how to cook. Maybe she was being unkind. Maybe he learned. There was a first time for everything.

He stopped at a small market. It was bigger than the one from yesterday. Jax grabbed a cart. She walked a couple of yards into the store. Jax was half-way down the aisle. She heard footsteps behind her. The guy from yesterday. This was exactly what happened. The STDs were here!


	8. Chapter 8

3

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 8**

**DAY 2: Panic at the Market**

Jax looked back and saw Tara, her eyes round with fear and the color drained from her face. He'd seen that look before on the faces of prospects the first time they were in the middle of gun fire.

In those situations, he would generally wait to see if they were going to snap out of it. If they didn't, he either punched them or slapped them to get their attention. Probably better not do with Tara.

He left the grocery cart and walked back to her. She was standing in the aisle looking around frantically.

"What's wrong?"

"The guys from yesterday. I think I saw them," Tara said pointing vaguely.

"You're having a stressed induced reaction."

She was trembling and breathing too fast and quick. She was going to pass out if she couldn't regain control.

"You don't believe me?"

"I think _you_ believe _you_," he said.

He got behind her so his back was against the shelves and he put his arm across her shoulders.

"You're safe. Everything is OK," he whispered softly in her ear.

"Those guys are here."

"If those guys had been here, they would have started shooting by now. You're safe. I'll protect you. Breathe with me. Take a long slow breath through your nose and now out through your mouth. Again. Long slow breath in and now out through your mouth. That's better," he said. "Keep breathing with me. Long, slow in and nice and slow out."

As Jax helped her pace her breathing, her trembling subsided and the color returned to her face.

"Give it another minute and keep breathing with me."

Tara continued to follow Jax's directions and breathed with him. It was working and she felt herself calm down. Jax's arm across her shoulders and feeling him behind her knowing no one could up behind them helped her regain her sense of security.

"I really thought I heard them," she whispered.

"I know you did. Your mind plays tricks after a traumatic event."

"Thank you."

"Let's finish up. You push the cart now and stay close."

"You don't need to worry about the stay close part."

"Good," Jax said. "OK. Here's breakfast," he said reaching into a freezer and grabbing a couple of cans of orange juice.

Jax walked down the bread aisle and grabbed two loaves of bread.

"If we get some eggs, I can make French toast."

"As long as you make it. We should get some syrup. I'm not sure there is any in the cabin."

Jax added a couple of packages of lunch meat and a couple of bags of chips to round out his lunches.

"I was suspicious when you volunteered to make breakfast and lunch."

Jax chuckled.

"Tell you what I'll do, I'll make dessert too."

"Ice cream."

"You know it," he smiled.

For a moment, Tara saw a glimpse of the Jax she had known. He was still in there somewhere. She wondered if there were anything left of the girl she'd been ten years ago. She hoped not. She'd spent a lot of time hating herself back in those days.

They finished their shopping and Jax began to drive into the mountains.

"It's only a twenty minutes drive, but it's slow with a lot of curves."

"Thank you for helping me."

"I only did it . . ."

"I know you did it in spite of me being your ex."

"No, I only did it because you were about to draw attention to us by either screaming or passing out _and_ in spite of you being my ex."

As the SUV climbed they landscape became dusted with snow increasing to a deep lush blanket of snow in the area near the cabin.

Tara looked apprehensively at the overcast sky. Snow was expected later that night. Being snowbound in a mountain cabin on the run from a bunch of murderous psychopaths with the ex love of her life, what could go wrong?


	9. Chapter 9

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 9**

**DAY 2: Pop Go the Beds!**

"

Tara wasn't sure what she expected from the cabin, but the word "cabin" always made her think of a log cabin like the ones she'd seen in pioneer movies and not like the huge fancy log cabins featured on TV shows about log cabins. This cabin was just a small house in the mountains. The kitchen and living area occupied half of the house. Two large French doors opened into a large room with a single queen sized bed in it and a bathroom. A folding screen was open and there were four bedspreads and blankets on the floor.

"Son of a bitch," Jax said. "I told the guys to be careful with their knives."

"I don't understand."

"These were blow up beds. They must have leaks because they are on the floor now."

"I wonder what was happening there. I thought it was some kind of sleeping pallet."

"No, blow up beds. The queen sized bed is also a blow up bed, but it's held it's air perfectly."

"Can you patch the beds?"

"If I can find the patch kit, but I don't know if the kit is even here. It would take at least two hours to drive to a store to buy another bed and return. We can do that tomorrow if we're not snowed in. There isn't a couch and sleeping on the floor in the winter is cold and uncomfortable. We'll just have to share for a night."

Tara looked at the living room and that was when she noticed that even sleeping in a chair wasn't an option. The chairs were just straight back dining room chairs.

"What?" Jax asked impatiently.

"Are you sure there isn't a better option?"

"Look, we're adults. We can share a bed. Nothing's going to happen. Let's finish bringing in the groceries."

"OK," Tara said.

She wasn't thrilled about the sleeping situation, but it would be fine for a night or two. She'd always thought TV shows where a man and a woman are forced to share a bed and then one of them volunteers to sleep on the floor were stupid. Adults are idiots if they think they can't share a bed. What do they think—that sharing a bed is dangerous? Their passion is too strong to share a bed? That was silly. Most people sleep in beds together without having sex; it's generally referred to as marriage.

Tara played the role of a traditional woman and put away the groceries.

"How did you know how to calm me down in the market?"

"I've dealt with a few prospects. You had the same look on your face. Generally, I'd slap or punch them to grab their attention then I'd help them with their breathing. That usually calmed them down."

"Did they get patched in?"

"Hell no. You can't depend on a guy in a tight situation, he's no good."

"Thanks for not punching or slapping me."

"It's kind of looked down on in public," Jax said with a ghost of a smile.

"Thanks for being kinder to me."

"We have a TV and an old DVD and VCR player, so we can watch stuff, but there's no cable. Also no Wi-Fi, no land line and no cell service. You have to walk down the road a couple of hundred yards before you can get a signal."

"Off the grid," Tara said. "Jax, I do appreciate you letting me stay here. I should have been more grateful."

"No need to grovel," he said, brushing aside her gratitude. "I need to make a couple of calls."

"OK. I'm going to start the chicken fried steak. The coating needs to sit on the meat to harden a bit. It can stay in the fridge for a couple of hours."

He nodded and left the cabin and walked down the road. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a cell phone.

"What's going on?" Jax asked.

"Not much," Clay said. "We've got the schedule for the patrols. We're hiring some extra guys by bringing in other charters. They're glad to have the work. Some of the local businesses want us to patrol their stores and they are willing to pay extra."

"Nothing like profiting from a spree killing group of murderous psychos," Jax said.

"The town knows the reaper takes care of Charming."

Jax's lips twisted into a bitter smile.

"Yeah, we do. How did Gemma take the news about everything?"

Clay chuckled.

"You owe me big, son. She was all for coming to the cabin to make sure nothing happened with you and the old squeeze."

"Tell her we're going to run off and get married."

"You want to give your mother a heart attack?"

"It would make life simpler. By the way, whoever used the cabin last put holes in the beds. They are all flat. The only bed that isn't deflated is the queen sized bed."

"I had Steve the caretaker flatten the beds before you got there," Clay said. "You're welcome."

"Real funny," Jax grumbled. "I'll call you tomorrow."

Jax put the phone back into his cut, got his other phone out and quickly made a call.

"Are you up at the cabin?"

"Yeah, we just got here."

"We tried to delay the official identification, but Hale is doing a press conference in less than an hour and he'll ID you and Tara. Once those damned traffic cam pictures got out, our hands were tied. Too many people had access to the cameras for us to be able to keep it quiet."

"Making any progress on figuring out how they are all linked?"

"No. There may not be a common link. It could be one gets into the STDs and then they recruit someone. If that's what happened, maybe someone they tried to recruit and failed will come forward. If arrests aren't made soon, this is going to be worse than the Night Stalker. What did you do with your gun?"

"Got rid of it."

"Where?"

"Nice try, Wendy. I'll call you tomorrow."

Jax ended the call and returned to the cabin.


	10. Chapter 10

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 10**

**DAY 2: Great Time to Develop a Sense of Humor**

Jax returned to the cabin and found Tara busy in the kitchen. For a second, he'd had a flashback to a simpler time when they lived together and planned a future. It was ten years later and never did his future look more uncertain or dangerous and that was before the shit with the STDs happened.

He decided to see if the beds could be repaired. He grabbed the bedding and folded and made a pile of the blankets before inspecting the popped beds. He was hoping there was a single small cut that could easily be fixed, but he discovered that the caretaker took on his task with more enthusiasm than needed. The airbeds were shredded. Clay had picked a great time to develop a sense of humor.

"Do you think you could fix the beds?" Tara asked.

"No, they're shredded. We'll just go get another bed tomorrow if the weather permits. I'm going to wash the bedding so we don't catch anything."

"Where are you going to wash them?"

"There's a laundry room closet in the bathroom. I'm going to throw the blankets in the dryer and use heat to kill anything that might be left alive in the blankets."

"Good idea. You have an unexpected domestic side."

"I didn't have a choice after you left."

"I'm sure Gemma would have gladly washed your clothes, cleaned your apartment and cooked your meals."

"You forgot wipe my ass."

Tara looked up quickly from where she was setting up the breading stations for the chicken fried steak to make sure Jax was joking.

"It was a joke," Jax added.

Tara laughed.

"I wasn't sure."

"And that's what's wrong with my relationship with Gemma. She just doesn't get boundaries. For the record, she hasn't wiped my ass since I was sixteen."

This time Tara knew Jax was just making another joke. It was great that he was talking to her. It wasn't as awkward and tense as she feared.

"How did she take it when she found out what happened at the market?"

"I don't know. I spent most of last night with the MC coming up with a plan to keep Charming protected. Clay told her. She wanted to come up here, but Clay made her stay home."

Tara laughed. She knew this wasn't a joke, but it was still funny. Gemma would go crazy thinking about what they could be doing. She wondered if Jax marrying her was still Gemma's greatest fear in life.

"I'm making mashed potatoes, gravy and Southern style green beans with bacon."

"Sounds great. I don't think I've ever had good chicken fried steak. It's always been soggy."

"There are two reasons for that. The oil isn't hot enough or the chicken fried steak didn't develop a crust. That's why I'm putting it in the fridge."

"I always liked the domestic side to you."

"Because you didn't have to do those chores."

"Yeah, I'm a little more enlightened now, but I'm not going to lie and say I don't enjoy having dinner prepared for me."

Tara began peeling the potatoes. She decided to make extra to mix with cheese for dinner tomorrow.

"I got really into cooking when I was looking for another job. This hospital in Texas near Dallas sent me this great big box because things are always bigger in Texas. It was welcoming me before I had even decided to take the job."

Surgeons were big business for a hospital. A decent surgeon can add a couple of million dollars to a hospital's bottom line and neonatal surgeons were prized by hospitals. Usually they were courted with bonuses, but some hospitals had upped their game by becoming more welcoming and personal while still handing out bonuses.

"What was in the box?"

"T-shirts for sports teams, cookbooks for Texas including one that the hospital puts together that has staff recipes, stuffed armadillo—not a real stuffed animal—a toy, spices and all kinds of different foods including a lot of different hot sauces. It was really impressive. Oh and there was a little booklet of why Texas is so great. You would love it. They have open carry there."

"Alcohol?"

"Guns. It's great. You have to take a class and pass a test and then you can open carry a gun strapped to your hip old West style."

"I have a concealed carry permit. When we expanded into security, Unser pushed the paperwork through for us."

"That was a genius idea to expand into security."

"It was mine."

"It was still genius," Tara said with a smile.

Jax finished washing and drying the sheets. Tara helped him make the bed. It felt again like old times. They used to always make the bed together. It was a little ritual that he had always enjoyed and hadn't realized he missed until this moment.

Tara's dinner was great. The chicken fried steak was tender and crisp, the gravy was the perfect accompaniment to the steak and potatoes and the green beans were delicious with the onions and bacon.

"That dinner was delicious. I've been spoiled for life with your chicken fried steak. Your cooking was always good, but now it's great."

"You're just saying that because you want me to make you dinner tomorrow."

This wasn't good. It was too easy to get back into talking to Tara again. Memories of the good times kept returning and it wasn't good. He couldn't afford to let Tara distract him. There was too much at stake and lives depended on him staying focused.

He looked at Tara and wondered what she'd say if he told her that he was going to bring down SAMCRO and the SOA in the next couple of weeks if he could manage to stay alive.


	11. Chapter 11

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**" **

**Author's Note: There is never enough room in the summary to describe the plot and half the time the plot changes. This is an AU the way I think is more AU. The people may have the same names but they have made different choices leading to different outcomes. Opie and Donna made a decision to go to a restaurant for their anniversary and they ended up both dead before Donna could even have their first baby.**

**This story has a very different take on SOA with different endings for many SOA characters. Characters may have the same name and look the same, but they are different.**

**"**

**CHAPTER 11**

**DAY 2: His Secret Baby **

Jax turned the porchlight on and looked out the window. The snow was starting to fall heavily. It might not be worth trying to get out in the morning to get another bed. They were adults. They could make it work for a couple of nights.

"I'm going to check in with the MC."

"I think I'll take a shower."

Jax put on his heavy jacket and walked a couple of hundred yards until he had a cell signal. He called Juice first. He was in charge of the club's communications; let him communicate.

"Hey, Juice, how's it going?"

"Busy. Hale revealed your name and Tara's at a news conference. Said the two of you weren't in Charming and were in a safe undisclosed location just like we told him to say. He's scared shitless that the STDs are heading to Charming. Businesses want protection and we're making a shitload of money, brother."

"It's nice to know that at least we're turning this misfortune into a fortune."

"Fear is good for business."

"Yeah, you know it. I think we're going to get snowed in. It's coming down pretty heavy. I'll check in tomorrow. If you don't hear from me, don't let Gemma know. I'm not sure what a blizzard will do to the cell phone reception here."

"You don't want her to just turn up at the cabin?"

"If we get as much snow as my cell phones says, no one is getting up here in a couple of hours. Talk to you tomorrow," Jax said ending the phone call.

He pulled out his other cell phone and made a call.

"It's me," Jax said.

"Everyone says that. Lucky I'm good with voices, Jax," Wendy said. "Did you hear about Hale's news conference?"

"Yeah, Juice filled me in. That was the only way to play it. Any news on tracking down the STDs?"

"No. Real life isn't like TV. It takes more than a couple of hours to run down leads."

"It just couldn't come at a worst possible time."

"On top of being reunited with your ex," Wendy paused. "You really have to stay focused Jax. Everything we have all been working for is so close."

"I know. In a few weeks, this will be done. I will be done."

"Speaking of done, the doctor said that baby Abel is due in six weeks. The time has just flown by. I love being pregnant."

"I think the hard part is coming up. I have no desire to watch child birth. We saw a film in health class. Traumatized the hell out of Tara," Jax chuckled at the memory.

"How are you two getting along?"

"It's OK. Don't worry about me losing focus. Wendy, you take care of yourself and take care of my baby."

"OK. I'm going to read him a story. Check in tomorrow."

"I will unless there's a cell signal problem."

Jax ended the call and walked slowly to the cabin. He still hadn't gotten used to the idea of being a father. Wendy had mentioned in passing that she and her husband were going through testing to find out why they couldn't have a baby. It turned out her husband had a low sperm count.

Wendy didn't just want a baby. She wanted the whole experience of being pregnant and giving birth. She and her husband began looking into using a sperm donor. After looking at almost a hundred profiles, she had asked him if he would consider it.

Jax had taken a couple of days and thought it over. He was in perfect health with no family history of medical problems. It was the idea of someone else raising his flesh and blood that made him hesitate. His life was about to get extremely dangerous. He liked the idea that if he got killed, he would at least leave a child behind.

He agreed with a couple of conditions. He wanted pictures of the child and report cards, stuff like that. Wendy agreed quickly. She said they planned on telling the child about his bio dad and they would work out something so he could see the child. Jax agreed to father the child.

Jax had gone to a clinic to leave his deposit. Wendy conceived on the second attempt and was enjoying an easy trouble free pregnancy. When he found out that she was having a boy, he wasn't prepared for the flood of emotions.

He kept thinking about his father and how he'd remained such a mystery to him until he found that manuscript out in the storage unit shortly after Tara left town. The manuscript turned his world upside down and changed the way he saw his father and his world.

He wanted his son to know him especially if he got killed. He wanted Abel to know why things happened the way they happened. He also wanted him to know his grandfather.

One thing his son would never know—his grandmother. Gemma would never know he had a son. Tara had been right about Gemma.

_**Author's Note to My Clever Guest Reviewer**_

_**I debated whether or not to leave your reviews up. I finally took them down. If you PM me, I'll explain my reasons that you were asking about in your reviews. Briefly, it's because of readers' reactions. Are you El?**_


	12. Chapter 12

5

**Twenty-One Days**

**"**

**Chapter 12 Spontaneous Human Combustion**

Tara had just emerged from the bathroom with her hair wet when Jax walked into the cabin. She was wearing navy blue leggings and a navy T-shirt that reached to within a few inches of her knees. It was the same basic sleeping attire that she wore ten years ago.

"I'm going to take a quick shower to warm up."

"I think there's plenty of hot water left," she said.

Tara wasn't sure how they were going to fill the hours they had left before it was time to sleep. She just hoped it wouldn't be awkward.

Once again, she was being too optimistic. It would have been awkward yesterday but they had been too busy running for their lives. Of course, it was going to be awkward tonight. Underneath everything, she was still the awkward, nerdy, bookish Tara.

Jax mentioned they could watch videos or DVDs. She decided to check out the what was available. There were a lot of different TV shows that she'd never seen or even heard about. She'd been so busy with work and school there were lots of things she'd missed out on. Jax could pick and watching the videos would pass the time.

It was better than talking. Just about anything was better than talking. She just wanted to get through the next couple of days without drama. They weren't ever going to be together; she got that. She hadn't come looking for a future with Jax. She was just trying to take care of her father's estate.

If it hadn't been for that bitch neighbor of hers, she wouldn't have been in that damned market. There's a difference between disliking her and putting her in a situation that almost got her killed.

Jax opened the bathroom door with only a skimpy towel wrapped around his waist. That was when Tara realized that the muscles she'd felt last night when she had her arms around him on his bike and later when he held her looked even better than they felt. He was cut and chiseled to perfection.

Back when she was with Jax, he was tall and lanky. Ten years and a lot of gym time had given him one hell of a great body. Her heart beat a little faster, but it wasn't because she had any interest in Jax. It was simply a reaction to a sexy guy. To paraphrase Jax, she felt the heat of attraction not because he was her ex, but despite it.

"Forgot my clothes," Jax said walking over to the dresser where he'd dumped his duffel bag.

"Uh-huh," she said skeptically.

Tara didn't buy his explanation for a second. She was sure that he wanted her to see his body. It didn't mean anything other than he wanted her to know that he looked even hotter now than when they were together. Maybe he wanted her to see what she'd missed for all those years.

"What do you mean by that?" he demanded.

"Nothing," she said innocently.

Jax grabbed a pair of dark blue sweats and a pair of black boxer briefs and returned to the bathroom, but Jax being Jax meant he didn't close the door all the way leaving it open about a foot so if she wanted to look, she could. He'd always been generous like that, making sure she could check out his body whenever she wanted. It was part of his endless quest for sex.

When they lived together, he didn't bother closing the door when he changed his clothes or took a shower. Jax had some epic showers. The best ones were when she joined him.

Whenever they talked about what they were going to do, Jax always suggested sex. She hadn't minded because he made her feel that his great need for sex was because he wanted _her_ and he just couldn't get enough of her. Those had been some happy times.

She wondered if he were trying to seduce her. Donna told her about his vast number of female conquests back in the days when they were still in touch before she'd accidentally been killed by Opie.

Sex for Jax was just recreation except when he was with her. He told her that she taught him the difference between sex and love. Cynical Tara came out now because she wondered how many girls he used that same line on later.

She believed that he had actually meant it when he said that to her. Now, there was no love, but that wouldn't necessary stop him from trying to have sex with her. Men were just like that. A man could hate a woman, but still try to have sex with her.

When she returned to Charming, she expected to run into him. That was just life in a small town. She would say hi and keep walking. She never dreamed she'd be in a remote mountain cabin during a snowstorm hiding out from a murderous group of psychos.

Jax finished dressing and left the bathroom. Back in her day, Jax had been hot, but now he was on fire. It was normal for a woman to appreciate the finer points of an attractive man's body even when he was past tense.

"Yesterday when the guy held the gun to my head, when did you know it was me?"

Tara hadn't asked questions earlier because she'd been trying not to remember that moment when she was certain she was going to die.

"I didn't know it was you. I had a shot on the guy and took it. He was never going to let you go and he was going to kill both of us if I showed myself. I thought I recognized your voice when you screamed, but I wasn't sure."

"So when you said that if you hated me, you would have let the guy kill me and then taken him out you meant . . ."

"I was joking. It didn't matter the hostage, I was going to kill the hostage taker."

"You were the best person to be at the market. That was some great shooting."

"I'd gone shooting the day before so it was good timing."

"I always see articles on the internet or TV about how cops fire a hundred rounds and only three hit the suspect who walks away with minor injuries. That happens a lot."

"When you practice shooting, you aren't being shot at. There's an adrenalin rush that can effect your aim. Cops are also bad shots in general. They don't have to shoot at people that often."

"I was just frozen. In my case, fight or flight turned into just standing still too afraid to move."

"That's also a reaction that happens a lot. You're alive. Don't dwell on what could have gone wrong."

"Like if you had come in five minutes later?"

"Don't make yourself crazy."

"When I thought I was going to die, I thought about what I regretted most in life."

"Let me guess, breaking up with me was at the top of your list."

He was looking at her and she thought she might go up in flames. Why did Jax have to get hotter and sexier with age?

"

_**Next Chapter: The STDs send a message to Jax and Tara**_


	13. Chapter 13

5

**Twenty-One Days**

**"**

**Chapter 13 **

**Day 2 **_**Regrets I've Had a Few and**__** Not One Is Losing You**_

"

Jax looked at Tara not really knowing why he'd suggested that she regretted ending their relationship. Those last couple of months had been hell on earth. Who would have wanted more of that? Neither of them.

"I don't regret that. Wasn't it you who didn't want to talk about the past?"

"I wasn't talking about the past, I suggested that when faced with death you may have regretted breaking up with me."

"I don't regret it," Tara said quietly.

"Neither do I," Jax said with an edge in his voice.

Tara was going to tell him what she regretted, but he'd annoyed her so much she wasn't going to tell him. It didn't matter anyway. Nothing they said to each other mattered. There was no going back and repairing their relationship and they had no future.

She regretted all the time she'd spent in school and at work. When she faced death, she wished she'd had love in her life. No one would have missed her if she'd taken a bullet to the brain.

That wake up call didn't mean that she regretted breaking up with Jax. As broken-hearted as she'd been at the time, it was the right decision. Seeing him now, she recognized the outside shell, but inside, she didn't know who he was and that might be good.

When she left, she was certain that Jax was headed for death or prison. He may not currently be in prison, but it was only a matter of time before the MC destroyed him. They had had many arguments over the MC. She'd wanted to rescue him from Gemma and the MC.

He was too blind to see that he needed to get out. It wasn't in her to sit idly by and watch him agonize over some of the things he'd had to do for the club. She knew that one day, he would no longer agonize over those moral decisions because he would have completely lost his way. She couldn't save him, but she could save herself.

It had also gotten to the point where she couldn't stand to watch what was going to happen to him. Every knock at their door had her wondering if Jax had been injured, arrested or dead. If Jax had been taking risks for a greater good, she would have understood. The risks Jax was taking were to enrich SAMCRO.

At nineteen, she'd see through the whole brotherhood thing, but Jax just closed his mind and wouldn't accept what she'd been trying to tell him. She could have kept her mouth shut, let things go on and hope that Jax would eventually open his own eyes and see SAMCRO for what it was—an organized crime brotherhood. Most of their fights were over her trying to get him to see reality.

That was why she had no future with Jax. It didn't matter if she somehow managed to fall madly in love with him, she was leaving town and him.

Now that she was older, she could see the MC was even more dangerous than it was when she was nineteen. If she returned to Charming and got together with Jax, it would only be a matter of time before she would have to play shot doc for them. That would force her to choose between Jax or potentially losing her medical license. She could also go to prison.

She felt certain that Jax would never leave the MC and Charming. It didn't matter if she fell madly in love with Jax now; she was still clearing out of town. She'd gone through the misery of heartbreak. Doing it again wouldn't be fatal, but she wasn't about to fall back in love with him. She was too smart now.

"Hale held a news conference and identified us," Jax said. "The information was going to get out and it was better that it be controlled. He announced that we weren't in the city but were in a safe undisclosed location. We needed to give the residents some peace of mind."

"Now everyone will know they can burglarize my father's house. Maybe I'll get lucky and someone will come and steal all my father's stuff and I won't have to go through it," Tara said.

"If you're worried, SAMCRO can install an alarm system with cameras. They can also drive by and keep an eye on the place."

"I got everything I wanted out of the house when I left. Now it's more about deciding whether to sell, trash or donate. I should just trash everything, but it feels disrespectful to my father—like saying he's trash. I'm also afraid that I'll throw away some sort of keepsake I've forgotten about."

''I'm sorry about your father's death. I used to look in on him occasionally."

"I didn't know that."

"He wasn't a bad man."

"No, he was just a drunk. I tried so hard to save him."

"You tried hard to save me too," Jax said.

For the first time, Jax's eyes softened when he looked at Tara. In the end, she'd only seen anger in his eyes. This was the way he used to look at her before she'd tried to save him and torn up their relationship.

"Always a failure."

"Your father wanted to change. I saw him a couple of days before his death. He told me his greatest regret was not being a better father."

Tara's eyes filled with tears.

"I wish he could have told me that," she whispered.

"He was a stubborn old man. You take after him."

"Thanks."

"That isn't always a bad thing."

Tara was shocked by Jax's tone of voice. He was actually being kind. That was the advantage of ten years; a lot of the hot anger was gone. She just hadn't expected him to be kind.

"Why are you suddenly being nice to me?"

Jax shook his head, his lips twisted into a bitter smile.

"Typical. I can never win with you."

"You will always win with me," she said. "You saved my life twice yesterday."

Jax thought about doing more than sleeping with Tara. Sex was just sex. It wasn't love. It wasn't forever. Some physical pleasure would be a good way to spend the night. He wouldn't exactly be using Tara. It wasn't like she wasn't going to get anything out of it.

The morally right thing to do would be to not to use his ex-girlfriend for some meaningless sex, but maybe she would be OK with some meaningless futureless sex with him.

He flashed her his Jax Teller grin.

"You want me to hold you some more?"

Jax had always been a smooth talker, Tara thought. This was _not_ an example of that.

"

_**Author's Note: Since this story is going the AU route, this Tara isn't the same as SOA. The Tara on the TV show never really rocked the boat when it came to the MC. This Tara wants to sink the boat.**_


	14. Chapter 14

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 14**

**DAY 2: **_**Rum and Coke**_

**"**

Ten years and some things hadn't changed. She'd seen that look in Jax's eyes more times than she could remember. It didn't matter how he felt or didn't feel about her; she was a body to have sex with and nothing more.

"Suddenly you're offering me the comfort of your arms. What's changed from yesterday?"

"We're not in immediate danger," Jax said. "If I had comforted you after I shot the guy who was holding a gun to your head, we would have gotten killed by the guys who ran into the market. I needed to be tough on you because if you fell apart, you could have gotten us both killed."

Tara didn't believe his words. What changed from yesterday to today was they were spending a couple of days in a secluded mountain cabin and Jax wanted a pleasurable way to fill the time. She was just a port in a snowstorm.

"My hero," Tara said with only a light touch of sarcasm. "Is there any liquor here?"

"You saw me put two bottles of rum in the cart. You want a rum and coke?" Jax asked.

"As long as you're drinking with me," she replied.

"Sure."

"Easy on the rum though."

He had decided to improve his chances of having sex with Tara when they were at the market. When she got drunk, she got sexually aggressive. The fact that she'd asked him about alcohol meant that she was thinking about having sex with him. Ten years may have passed, but it looked like some things hadn't changed.

Even when Tara was madder than hell at him, she'd still have sex with him. Sometimes that anger made it even better. No matter how badly they clashed, they always managed to keep the sex part of their relationship going. In those last couple of months that was their relationship—just sex.

There was no reason for them not to enjoy each other. This might be his last chance for sex. The next couple of weeks were going to be filled with deadly danger and that wasn't even counting the STDs.

Tara sipped the drink and grimaced.

"That's got a lot of rum."

"I must have mixed up the drinks," he said innocently. "I made mine stronger. Switch with me."

"Uh-huh," Tara said in the same tone of voice when Jax told her he'd forgotten his clothes when he walked into the bedroom in only a towel.

She switched drinks with him and discovered what she'd always suspected—the reason she got so drunk when they drank together was because he made her drinks stronger. Sneaky son of a bitch. She took a sip of the drink and was surprised by how little rum was in the drink.

"This tastes much better," she said.

It had been almost a year since she'd had last had sex, so she had some hunger built up in her. The problem was Jax Teller. She didn't really want to be just another name in his list of the hundreds or thousands of girls he'd screwed. Did it really matter though since she was already on the list? Maybe not when she thought of it like that.

She didn't have to like him to have sex with him. It might even be kind of interesting to see how things have changed in ten years. Why couldn't she just use him for sex? She was a modern woman.

While they drank their rum and Cokes, they looked through the DVDs and videotapes. One of the tapes reminded Tara of a TV show she'd watched many years ago.

"Do you think it's possible that the STDs could actually be killing someone as the target and the other kills are just camouflage?"

Jax thought that over while Tara went into the kitchen and poured herself another rum and coke.

"If you wanted to kill someone and conceal your identity, that's going to be a lot of work just to get one person."

"That's the brilliant part," Tara said, returning from the kitchen and curling up on the bed near Jax. "One person may have a hefty life insurance policy. You kill off a minimum wage worker with a million dollar life insurance. Prime suspect is the policy's beneficiary. Person's killed by a psycho group of spree killers and now there's no suspicion."

Tara downed half her rum and Coke. With her drinking at that pace, Jax estimated Tara had about one more drink before she was going to be pretty drunk.

"So you find people who are going to die and get them to do murders," Jax said picking up on Tara's idea.

"If the people get caught, they're going to die."

"The killers get part of the hit fee at the time of the hit and the final payment goes to whoever they pick after the hit team is all dead so they can't testify against the person who is behind everything. They do more and more killings while they are physically able, so they can leave money for their families."

"Do you think it's too crazy?" Tara worried.

"No crazier than a group of terminally ill people getting together and randomly killing people for fun."

"I wish there were some way to test our theory," Tara said wistfully.

"We need to find out if there were any big insurance pay outs."

"Some of the payouts might not even be that much or there might not be a financial reason," Tara said. "The only common thread might be that someone wanted someone dead and was willing to pay."

"Maybe Juice could help. We would need an internet connection. If we can get information, we could always spend the night at a hotel and use their internet."

"That would be more interesting than just watching DVDs," she said. "You want another drink."

"Just top it off with Coke. It's still pretty strong. I don't know what I was thinking when I made this drink."

"Really?" Tara said skeptically. "I do."

She walked into the kitchen.

"Do you want a shot?" she called.

Jax got up and went into the kitchen. If Tara wanted to do shots, she needed supervision so she wouldn't get too drunk and start throwing up.

They each had a shot of rum. After, Jax pulled her against him from behind. He rubbed his beard along her neck. A moan escaped her lips. He began to kiss her neck softly just the way she used to like.

"Do you think we could pretend we had different names?"

Jax looked at Tara and thought her question was silly. He didn't care what name she wanted to call him by as long as he got laid.


	15. Chapter 15

3

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 15**

**DAY 2: **_**Timing Is Everything**_

"

"Call me whatever you want," Jax said beginning to snake his hand up her long T-shirt.

"More alcohol," she said swatting his hand and walking away. She wasn't nearly drunk enough to have sex with Jax and not regret it. She was only buzzed and still capable of regret.

When she returned to Charming, she sure as hell never thought that she'd end up having sex with Jax. She'd planned to stay as far away from him as possible. Well, sex with Jax wasn't a forever thing. There wasn't a forever for them. Sex between them, if it happened, was a now thing. Nothing more.

He wasn't interested in having sex with her because she was Tara the ex-great love of his life. He just wanted to have sex and she was the only female in the cabin. It wasn't personal.

Well, if she decided to have sex with him, it wasn't personal on her side either. It was just physical and had nothing to do with love. That was something she'd learned in the years they had been apart—sex and love were separate and life worked best when they stayed that way.

This was beginning to be another trip down a very worn path. She needed to think less. She didn't bother to pour rum into a shot glass. She chugged down some rum grimacing at the taste.

"That's enough," Jax said reaching for the bottle.

"Leave me alone."

That was bossy Jax. Trying to tell her what to do. She remembered that side of him and hadn't liked it then and she sure as hell didn't like it now.

"At least slow down."

"Guess what Jax? I've lived on my own for ten years and managed just fine without you telling me what to do."

"That's right. I forgot. You always had the answers. Tara knows everything because she's so smart."

"No, you're wrong. You're the one that is so fucking smart because you're male. Isn't that the official MC view of things?"

"I've told you, more times than I want to remember, that I don't believe that shit. Yeah, that may be the MC view, but it isn't mine."

"I don't care what your view of anything is because I am free of you Jackson Teller."

Oh, hell, Jax thought. Mad Tara was out. About 10% of the time, drinking would release this angry, bitter Mad Tara. Nothing he did or said would change that. Worse, Mad Tara would never have sex with him. There was no point in even trying. His attempts would not only fail, it would make her even angrier. Son of a bitch! It was going to be a long night.

Tara, holding the bottle in her hand, staggered to the bed.

"Why don't you give me the bottle? You'll spill it all over yourself."

She put the bottle on the nightstand without answering him.

"See, I didn't spill it. Always telling me what to do. Everyone should bow to Prince Charming. You always think that you are God's gift to women. I've got news for you. You aren't."

It could be worse, Jax thought. She could be puking. No. Change that. It was already worse. She'd just thrown up on herself. And the bedding. And now him.


	16. Chapter 16

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 16**

**DAY 2: **_**Deja Vomit**_

"

Jax had no one but himself to blame for being covered in vomit. He should have remembered that rum made Tara vomit. It was vodka that just got her drunk without throwing up. She had thrown up on herself getting it not just only on her T-shirt but in her hair as well. And he would have still had sex with her, but Mad Tara would never let that happen.

"Get up," Jax said brusquely. "We need to wash the sheets because you vomited all over them."

Tara stood up and scowled at him. He stripped the sheets from the bed while she just looked at him glowering. When she was in a Mad Tara state of mind, he didn't have to do anything to make her angry.

He stripped off his T-shirt and put it together with the sheets in the washer.

"Take off your clothes," Jax said. "They need to be washed and so do you."

"What? You want to put me in the washer?"

"If you'd fit, I'd give it some serious thought. Let's go. Take your clothes off."

"Oooh… so seductive. Hell no, I'm not taking my clothes off."

"Take them off in the bathroom and hand them to me."

"No," Tara said.

Jax started the washer before returning to the bedroom. Tara, vomit in her hair and down the front of T-shirt, sat on the bed and looked at him defiantly.

"You don't get to tell me what to do."

"Either strip off your clothes and get in the shower or go sleep in the chair. You aren't sleeping in bed with me covered in vomit."

"It's your fault I threw up. You know rum makes me sick."

"That's right. I forced you to drink it."

She stared at him her eyes narrowed challenging him.

Challenge accepted, he thought, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. He went into the bathroom and turned on the water in the shower stall.

"Let's go. Shower off the vomit."

"No," Tara said. She reached for the bottle of rum.

Jax was stronger and fitter than high school Jax. He easily lifted her from the bed, slung her over his shoulder, took her into the bathroom and dumped her fully clothed in a heap on the floor of the shower stall under the running water.

"You son of a bitch," Tara sputtered. "I can't believe you did that to me."

"You're lucky it's not a cold shower," he said. He grabbed a bottle of shampoo from a shelf in the shower and tossed it down to her. "Wash the puke out of your hair."

"I swear to God Jax Teller I will make you pay for this."

Jax burst into laughter.

"You're really scaring me now."

Jax leaned into the shower and offered her his hand to help her up.

She took Jax's hand and got to her feet dropping the shampoo.

"Could you pick up the shampoo?" she asked sweetly. "I'm afraid that I might get dizzy and fall."

Jax bent over, picked up the shampoo and as he straightened, Tara grabbed the shower head, tilted it and sprayed him directly in the face.

Back when they were together, he would have pulled her into his arms and kissed her long, hard and deep before having sex with her against the shower stall's wall. They did have some good times before it all turned to shit.

"Thanks, I was going to have to take a shower anyway to wash your vomit off me."

Jax stripped off his socks and began to peel off his sweat pants.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Taking a shower."

"I'm in here."

"So am I. You get me wet, you have to take the consequences," he grinned and looked her over paying particular attention to the way the water had molded her T-shirt to her breasts. Too bad she had on a bra and she'd turned into Mad Tara.

"You're disgusting."

"Calm down, you've seen it all before, darlin'. Actually, I've made a few upgrades. You might want to check me out."

Jax finished stripping off his sweat pants revealing that he didn't have on any underwear.

Tara took a look and quickly turned away. Jax had definitely grown since high school. It was . . . impressive. If he thought he could seduce her by taking all his clothes off, he had another thing coming. No man could seduce her by simply taking off his clothes.

She decided to wash her hair. It had nothing to do with what Jax wanted. She didn't want to have vomit in her hair any longer and the sooner she got her hair clean, the sooner she could get away from Jax. In moments like this, she really wished the gunman had just shot her dead.

Jax had a smirk on his face. He was just so damned . . . Jax Teller. There was no other way to put it. That supreme confidence that all women wanted him had only grown over the ten years they had been apart. Maybe it was sleeping with hundreds of women that had caused his ego to swell.

She kept her face turned to a corner of the shower to avoid the sight of a fully naked Jax. Her stomach was feeling kind of queasy. Maybe it was the sight of Jax with all his clothes off.

Jax was lathering himself up. Back when they were together, she would always lather him up and wash him and he would wash her. He knew exactly where he needed to clean her.

Tara felt like she was going to vomit again. Maybe it was instinct or maybe she was motivated by revenge, but she threw up on Jax again. This time she hit his ass with a geyser of puke.

"

_**Author's Note to Blood for Ink: No, you didn't spoil the story and sadly your guesses aren't right. Gonna have to keep reading to find out. Always great to hear from you. MV**_


	17. Chapter 17

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 17**

**DAY 2: **_**Bottle Fight**_

"

Jax kept his cool and showered off this last round of vomit. He should have gotten the vodka. Never give Tara rum. It had never ended well. At least, Tara was washing her hair.

"Could you hand me the conditioner?"

"Are you going to puke on me again?"

She turned to look at Jax, carefully keeping her eyes on his face.

"I didn't plan on throwing up. It's just one of those things that happen when you give me rum."

"If you knew it would make you throw up, why did you drink it?"

"I thought this time would be different and I wanted to get drunk."

He handed her the conditioner. He got out of the shower finally free of vomit and began toweling himself off.

"You're going to have to take off your clothes to get clean."

"You just want to see me naked."

"Tara, I've seen you naked and I've seen a hell of a lot of women naked. Just take off your clothes and finish cleaning yourself."

"Leave the bathroom."

"I'm not leaving you alone. You're drunk and I don't want you to fall or hurt yourself."

"Turn around then."

He turned around. He had positioned himself so with a slight turn of his head, he had a clear view of the shower stall. He smirked. Sometimes Tara was just too easy to outwit.

Tara peeled off her soaking wet clothes and dropped them to the stall's floor. She washed quickly glad to have the vomit off her something she would never admit to Jax. She didn't like it when he turned bossy and she was damned if she would admit he was right about anything.

"Could you hand me two towels?"

There was only one bath towel in the bathroom plus the one he'd wrapped around his waist. He grinned and took off his towel, handing it and the other towel to Tara.

She gasped. That was another thing about Jax—he was always so casual about being naked. She'd never completely gotten used to it, but she'd sure as hell enjoyed it.

"You're naked again."

"You wanted two towels," he said with a grin. "And you're naked too."

She hastily took the towel and wrapped it around her body. She bent over to wrap the damp towel around her hair turban style. The floor seemed to be coming up to hit her. Jax's quick reflexes kicked in and he grabbed her holding her upright.

"Thanks. Kind of lost my balance."

Tara gave up on wrapping her hair in a turban and just roughly dried it with the towel.

"And that's why I stayed to keep an eye on you."

He walked into the bedroom and rummaged in his duffel bag for another set of sweats that were also navy blue.

Tara walked into the bedroom to get her own clothes. With his back turned, Tara felt free to admire just how good he looked. Definitely some upgrades. The SAMCRO reaper back tat was still there, but he'd put on some serious muscle.

He turned, catching her checking him out.

"See anything you like?"

"I wasn't looking at you. You're just so conceited."

"Yeah. I don't believe that."

He pulled on his sweats before walking into the laundry room to put the sheets into the dryer. Tara took advantage of his absence and swiftly pulled on panties, a sports bra, dark green leggings and a matching knee length T-shirt.

With a mischievous gleam in her eye, she grabbed the bottle of rum on the nightstand and took another chug. Her goal had been to get it back on the table before Jax returned. She was a couple of seconds too late.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Really Jax? You don't know? It's called drinking."

"How could you drink after all the vomiting?"

"It's never stopped me before," she said chuckling.

She reached for the bottle again and got another swig in before he snatched it from her hands. There wasn't much left so he polished off the bottle. He went into the kitchen and threw the bottle away. He opened the second bottle and poured it down the drain. No more rum for either of them.

"Why did you dump the whole bottle of rum out?" she demanded irate.

"To keep you from drinking it. Did you forget all the vomiting you did?"

He went into the bathroom and grabbed a small trash can.

"If you're going to puke again, use this."

She took it from him scowling.

"You used to be a lot more fun."

"So did you before we blew up our relationship."

Inflatable beds are comfortable but cold. There were two heavy blankets on the bed to keep the chill from the vinyl away. Tara sat on the bed a pillow behind her back.

"I don't know why you have to keep talking about our relationship. You were the one who didn't want to talk about the past."

"I still don't."

If only Tara hadn't been the girl at the mini-mart, things would be so much easier. He didn't have any choice about letting her come to the cabin with him. He owed her. He might even be drunk enough to tell her that, but she was too drunk to remember. If he ever told her, he wanted her to remember.

The sun was beginning to rise painting the cabin in pale gray light before the sheets were dry and they were finally able to crawl into bed to get some sleep.

"Jax are you still awake?" Tara whispered softly.

"Yes."

"You're the only person in my whole life who has ever taken care of me."

That was the old Tara who knew exactly how to tear at his heart. He rolled over to face her. He brushed aside a tendril of hair from her face and kissed her temple. He could see tears in the corners of her eyes.

"Get some sleep," he said gently.

It took tremendous willpower for him to roll over and turn his back. He had been a fool to think he could have anything casual with her.


	18. Chapter 18

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 18**

**DAY 3: **_**STDs Send a Message**_

"

Tara woke with a throbbing headache and a sore throat. Damn that rum! Damn Jax too for giving it to her! He paid a price for that. She wasn't sure how many times she'd thrown up on him. She thought it was more than two but less than ten.

This was the advantage to having no future with Jax Teller. She would normally have been embarrassed and worried about what he would think. Now, it didn't matter. No future meant no embarrassment.

She did have one very minor regret—not having sex with him. She thought throwing up on him was even better than sex until she remembered how damned sexy he looked naked. He'd given her a look so hot when he'd caught her checking him out that if it hadn't been for the protection of being drunk, she would have burst into flames.

Jax Teller had spent the last ten years using that time for evil by making himself even hotter and harder to resist. He was fiendishly using his face and body to attract, screw and discard women. Well, her name may be on the list, but that was in the past. It was never going to be on the list. OK, it might be on the list but it wouldn't be on the _current_ part. Oh to hell with the list!

She must have drifted off to sleep because the scent of coffee and bacon woke her up. She rolled over and discovered Jax gone. The day was just getting better and better.

She got up and made the bed without giving it any thought. Last one up made the bed. That had been their rule. She'd finished making the bed when she realized she didn't have to follow their rules; there was no "they" anymore.

Tara went into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee adding a big splash of milk. There was a cookie sheet out. The bacon had been removed and spread on paper towels to drain. She'd taught him the trick of making bacon in the oven on a cookie sheet.

She looked outside and saw him outside the cabin using his phone. It was inconvenient having to walk a couple of hundred yards from the cabin to get cell service, but it didn't matter to her. There was no one she needed to call because there was no one in her life.

Maybe she shouldn't be so quick to push Jax away. A little fling with him might be better than the nothingness that was her current life. She hadn't minded being so alone until she thought she was going to die.

Hangovers always brought out the self-pitying loser in her. She grabbed her purse, shook some Motrin in her hand and swallowed them with a few sips of water. Once the banging inside her head quit, she would stop feeling so sad about her life. The future was going to be great. She had a big beautiful life waiting for her in Texas. She just needed to stay alive.

She was rinsing out her coffee cup when Jax came into the cabin through the back door in the laundry room. She could hear him taking off his shoes, jacket and hat.

"Finally awake," he said looking her over.

"Everything OK with SAMCRO?"

"They're raking the money in. Fear is good for business."

"Any news on the STDs?"

"No leads on them."

"Did you talk to Juice about getting information on prior STDs killings?"

"He's going to see what he can do, but he's busy with the flood of business."

"I hate not being able to do anything."

"You're going to have to get over that. We're not going anywhere. The roads are blocked due to a big traffic accident. It's got to be cleared before anyone is getting up or down this mountain. Once the roads are clear, the guy that takes care of this place has a jeep with a plow on the front. He'll plow us out, but for now, we're stuck here."

"You're not telling me everything. What's really going on with the STDs?"

He looked at her and she knew he was weighing whether or not he was going to tell her the truth. She'd seen him do it before many times.

She slapped his arm with her hand.

"Damn it Jax. I'm not a fucking child. Tell me. What do you know that you're afraid to tell me?"

"The STDs have killed again. They left us a message in spray paint at the last crime scene. They said they are coming for us."

"Did they mention us by name?"

"Yeah," he said.

"You thought they might come after us."

"That isn't what worries me."

If something worried Jax, it had to be bad. Tara tried to brace herself for bad news. She really didn't want to fall apart again. If she did fall apart, maybe Jax would pull her into those big strong arms of his and he'd make her feel safe. Falling apart was beginning to look like a good option.

"What worries you?"

"The message they left for us was before Hale ID'd us and before the traffic cam footage was released."

"How could we have been ID'd?"

"That's what worries me."

"Last night you offered to put your arms around me. Would you mind doing that now?"

Tara really wanted nothing more than to be wrapped in Jax Teller's arms even if he was a fiend who used his face and body to seduce and discard women.


	19. Chapter 19

3

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 19**

**DAY 3: **_**More Bitter Than Sweet**_

"

Jax opened his arms and Tara walked into his arms. He held her tightly and for a few seconds she let herself feel comfort. His arms were stronger, but he still felt warm and familiar.

Don't cry, she ordered herself. Just don't cry. She bit her lip hoping the physical pain that she felt would offset the emotional pain. She'd made a monumental mistake asking to come to the cabin with him.

Playing hide and seek with the STDs would have been so much easier. Worse case, they find and kill her. Worse case with Jax, she discovers that there's a tiny flicker of love left in her heart that might grow and consume her leading to even greater heartbreak.

There was no future with him. That hadn't changed. Sonner or later Jax was either going to die or go to prison over SAMCRO.

This was when her full on self-hatred came out. Why couldn't she be more normal and not constantly worry about the future? Why couldn't she just live in the moment and enjoy spending a little time with a hot as hell guy? He wasn't just any hot guy. He used to be her guy that was why.

She pulled away from him, a small embarrassed smile on her face.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

She wanted him to pull her back into his arms and kiss her. Why couldn't he figure out what she wanted him to do? It was simple. He only saw her as a piece of pussy and nothing more. He didn't care about her and she didn't care about him.

"I think I'll make chili for dinner. I better start now. It tastes best when it simmers all day."

"The last time I had chili Gemma made it for the MC. Everyone got sick. It had a strange taste."

"I've made this before. It's a recipe that I got from the hospital."

"How bad is your hangover?"

"Bad. I never get a hangover unless I drink rum."

"A fact I forgot," Jax said ruefully.

"Well, you paid the price for that," she said grinning as she remembered throwing up on Jax multiple times. At least she would always have one great memory of their time in the cabin.

"Excited about starting your new job?"

"Sure," she said with a noticeable lack of enthusiasm.

"You sound about as happy as I am with SAMCRO. Unless you need any help, I'm going to do some work on my laptop," Jax said heading into the bedroom.

Tara was shocked that Jax had said something negative about SAMCRO. Ten years ago if she said even the slightest negative thing about SAMCRO there was a big fight.

As she got busy chopping and dicing, she heard Jax typing on his laptop. He'd taken typing in high school, so he wasn't a hunt and peck typist. He was typing with a speed that she found astonishing though. To have that kind of speed, he had to be typing regularly to build up speed. What could Jax be me working on?

She quit thinking about Jax, his typing and the future. She was just going to focus on the now. The future scared the hell out of her and filled her with such despair.

As she searched the kitchen cabinets looking for a grater she came across a full bottle of vodka. Maybe getting drunk with vodka would work out better than last night's rum. It would help her switch off her brain long enough to have sex with Jax.

It never even occurred to her that he would turn her down. He was Jax Teller. He never turned down sex.


	20. Chapter 20

5

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 20**

**DAY 3: **_**Secrets Kept**_

"

Tara finished preparing the chili leaving it to simmer gently on the stove until they were ready for dinner.

"Do you want me to go ahead and make lunch?" Tara called from the kitchen.

"I was going to make BLTs," Jax said walking into the kitchen. "That's why I made so much bacon this morning."

"You even used a sheet pan like I taught you."

"I am trainable," Jax said with a sly smile.

"Yeah, you are," Tara said smiling back at him. "It just takes you awhile sometimes."

"How about I make the sandwiches and you watch and tell me what I'm doing wrong? They never taste the way you make them."

"Food always tastes better when someone else makes it."

"I have noticed that," Jax said.

He took over the kitchen and made the BLTs under Tara's watchful eye. He toasted the bread, applied the right amount of mayo to the toasted break and dried the iceberg lettuce before putting it on the sandwich. He cut the tomatoes in thick slices and then made the mistake of not seasoning the tomato slices with salt and pepper.

"So that's what I've been doing wrong?"

"Uh-huh," she said. "No one does the salt and pepper on the tomato and it makes such a difference. Tomatoes taste so much more delicious with salt and pepper otherwise they're just bland and tasteless."

"You always do the salt and pepper thing on tomatoes on burgers and sandwiches too?"

"Always. If I get a burger at a restaurant if it's not seasoned, I either season the tomato or pull it out."

"I remember that now."

After lunch, Jax went back outside and made contact with the outside world on his phone.

"Still nothing to report," he said after he returned. "The mountain should be open sometime tomorrow if there isn't much more snow. Nothing from Juice and nothing in the news about the STDs."

"You don't think they're going to catch the STDs soon do you?"

"I'm not optimistic."

As Jax spent the morning typing out a letter to his future son, he decided that he needed to tell Tara some truths. He felt that he owed it to her and he also wanted her to know especially if something happened to him. It was important for her to know some of how he changed.

He was sitting on the bed. It was the most comfortable spot to sit in the cabin.

"I want to tell you something," Jax said.

Tara's automatic reaction from the past kicked in and she got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"I'm going to be a father."

That sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach got worse. It was stupid. They didn't have feelings for each other. It shouldn't matter to her how many kids he had except she used to dream that she and Jax would get married and have a baby before their relationship went to hell.

Now, she didn't have any dreams. Funny, she didn't know when she quit dreaming about her future and just focused on getting through each day. She was going to drown in self pity if she weren't careful, she scolded herself.

"Good for you. Do you know if it's going to be a boy or girl?"

"A boy. His name is going to be Abel."

Tara was curled up on the bed facing Jax who was sitting up with a pillow behind his back against the wall.

"It's a secret. That was one thing we did right. We kept each other's secrets no matter how mad we got at each other. We always kept the details of our relationship to us. I've always really liked that about you."

Tara blushed and looked down confused by the flood of emotions washing over her. She shouldn't feel this happy over a compliment by a man she had no feelings for.

"We did do some things right. Of course, I'll never tell anyone."

"I know. That's why I told you. I trust you."

Jax telling her that he trusted her was a huge deal. He didn't trust anyone easily and despite all that they had gone through, he still thought enough of her to trust her. For some silly reason, her eyes felt like they were going to start watering. There must be something in the cabin that she was allergic to. She rubbed her eyes. Maybe it was her damned eyeliner that was causing the problem with her eyes.

"When is he going to arrive?"

"About six weeks. I'm not with the mother. I was never with her. I know this couple who were having trouble having a baby. It turned out his little swimmers weren't fast enough and they had little chance of having a bio-child. They were going to do artificial insemination, but they got spooked by all the news coverage of some fertility doctor who used his sperm instead of the selected donor and then there were more stories of couples not getting the sperm donor they selected."

"That's scary. You wouldn't want to know how many times screw ups like that happen."

"That's why they asked me. I thought about it for awhile. I surprised myself by discovering that I didn't just want to be a sperm donor. I wanted to know about my kid, see pictures, report cards, shit like that. Want to see him a couple of times a year."

"That's sweet."

"They agreed. They wanted their child to know about how he came into the world, so I made the sperm donation and she got pregnant."

"That's why you don't want anyone to know. Gemma would pitch a fit."

"The understatement of the century," Jax said with a bitter smile. "This child is my way to have a son without ever having to worry that Gemma will get her hands on him and raise another criminal and killer."

Oh, God, it had finally happened. Jax was seeing Gemma for her true self—the poisonous mother from hell. What was worse and more heartbreaking to Tara was how Jax saw himself. Was there any way she could save him?

"

"

_**Author's Note: Blood for Ink- I'm glad you picked up on Tara telling Jax that he's the only person who ever took care of her. It seemed like an incredibly sad line to me and I like to tap into emotion and write that.**_

_**In this story, Tara is a damaged girl who took care of her mother and watched her die and then took care of her father.**_


	21. Chapter 21

4

**Twenty-One Days"**

**CHAPTER 21**

**DAY 3: **_**A Secret Revealed**_

_**"**_

She had always been a caretaker since she was six when her mother got cancer. She would bring her ice water and cold damp washcloths that she would put on her mother's forehead. When her mother died, she blamed herself. She thought if she'd taken better care of her mother she would have lived.

Her father's sorrow at losing her mother was so deep, he drowned himself in whisky every night. By then she was ten. She took on all the jobs her mother did. No matter how much cooking and cleaning she did, it was never enough to make up for her mother being dead.

She thought if she could be the perfect daughter than everything would be OK. Her father would quit drinking, he would pay attention to her and maybe even love her. It never happened, but it hadn't stopped her from trying.

Before she left Charming, she tried so hard to save Jax. In the end, she could only save herself. She thought all the old feelings were gone destroyed in their fiery break-up. She was surprised to find that she still had that same need to fix Jax that she'd had ten years ago.

"Jax you're more than a criminal and a killer."

"I know that I'm definitely more than what Gemma raised me to be," he said sardonically.

Tara was the only person who could understand the significance of his father's manuscript and the things JT had written in it. Tara had always been easy to talk to. She had an amazing way of understanding how he felt. He'd taken this for granted back when they were together. He thought all girls were like that.

After she left, he discovered few girls had Tara's way of listening and caring. He never met a girl that he wanted to open up to as he had with Tara. Despite the ten year separation, she didn't feel like a stranger.

If he told her some things from the manuscript, it wouldn't put her in danger. She would just learn how right she'd been about Gemma.

"You had been gone from Charming for a few months. I was moving some boxes from the storage unit into the house I bought. There was a box marked JT's stuff. Gemma hated for me to have anything of my father's, so finding the box surprised me. At the very bottom, I found this kind of journal manuscript. As soon as I got my hands on it I made multiple copies of it.

"If Gemma knew I had it, she would have taken it and then claimed she didn't know anything about. She's done that with pictures, my father's dog tags and even the flag from his funeral."

"Why did she do that?"

"She's got some problems."

"Is she getting help with her problems?"

"Gemma?" Jax raided an eyebrow in amusement. "She takes pride in never changing. That's part of the reason I don't want her to be part of my son's life."

If Jax had been able to see Gemma this clearly when they were together, Tara knew it still wouldn't have been enough to save their doomed relationship. It would have helped, but there had still been other serious problems.

"My father's manuscript was full of bombshells and secrets," Jax continued. "Gemma and my father had a baby girl named Cora before they came to Charming."

Tara sat up and stared at Jax. This was definitely a bombshell.

"What happened to the baby?"

"According to my father, Gemma was very unhappy that the baby was a girl. A little girl was competition while a son would love, worship and admire her. The baby was about three months old and quit breathing. Just another case of SIDS."

"Did your father think it was SIDS?"

Jax shook his head.

"He suspected that she killed her. He wrote that she seemed to hate the baby. Everyone would tell her how pretty Cora was and he could see the hate in Gemma's eyes. She wanted to be the one that was admired. He didn't have proof just suspicion. He was conflicted over thinking that Gemma killed Cora. He didn't want to believe it. When I was born, he was relieved I was a boy."

"What do you think?"

"I wouldn't put anything past her."

Tara was stunned. She was less surprised that Gemma might have killed her daughter and more surprised that Jax was actually admitting that Gemma had flaws.

"I always hoped that one day you would see the true Gemma."

"Even after reading my father's manuscript, it took me awhile to accept some of the things he wrote about Gemma."

"I had such a hard time with your blindness over Gemma."

"It was probably a good thing you got out of Charming. She might have tried to hurt you."

"She gave me some iced tea to drink and I'd gotten sick. She told me that I might be healthier if I left Charming. I don't know if she put something in the tea or if my getting sick were a coincidence."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It would have just been another fight. You would have made it all my fault and defended your sainted mother," Tara said. She didn't hide the bitterness in her voice.

"Yeah, I did do that. I was wrong Tara. About a lot of things."

Tara leaned forward stroking Jax's face with her fingertips.

"I'm sorry for the pain this has caused you."

For the first time since she'd been back in Charming, Tara was seeing the Jax she used to know. He was still in there under the more muscular, sexier exterior.

She longed for him to pull her closer and kiss her. Why the hell didn't he do that? If only he would kiss her, then she might discover whether or not she had a flicker of love left for him.

"

_**Next Chapter The Lady Macbeth of it All**_


	22. Chapter 22

3

**Twenty-One Days"**

**CHAPTER 22**

**DAY 3: **_**Just a Major Plot Twist**_

_**"**_

Jax felt suffocated. He needed to get out of that room and away from Tara.

"Need to check in," Jax said abruptly, getting up from the bed.

He put on this shoes, cap and jacket and headed outside to use his phone leaving Tara to stare after him wondering what the hell had just happened. She didn't know what she had done wrong to make him get up and leave like that. This was definitely new Jax behavior.

Tara coming back into his life at the worst possible time had caused the slightest spin inside Jax's head. It had been good to talk to her about things that only she could understand, but even though he wasn't talking about the past, it still felt that way.

As nice it had felt revealing one of his mother's dark secrets, he didn't want to start opening doors into their failed relationship. For a split second he wondered what would have happened if he'd listened to Tara more. It was a stupid waste of time. He could only make decisions in the present and he knew the uncertainty of his future.

He walked out to the area where he could get a cell signal and checked his messages. Nothing from SAMCRO. That was good. He didn't need more MC drama now. There was a message from Wendy to call.

"This cabin thing isn't working," Jax said when Wendy answered his call.

"Can't stand an isolated cabin with the ex, huh?" Wendy asked with amusement in her voice.

"I can deal with Tara. It's not having cell and Wi-Fi service that are problems."

"I think it's more than that. Maybe it's good that you and Tara have some time to talk."

"As long as it doesn't end up in murder," Jax said drily.

"You're a big tough guy. I don't think she can kill you."

"Were you able to get the info about the prior STDs victims?"

"Still working on it. I like this idea of the STDs being a cover for an assassination crime ring using terminally ill people to carry out the hits. Hell, it makes more sense than a bunch of sick people randomly killing. At least this theory of yours provides a reason."

"Tara came up with most of the idea."

"You know Jax, Tara could go into protective custody. I know that isn't an option for you, but it is for her."

There was a long pause on the phone as Jax thought through Wendy's suggestion. He'd thought of it before and he was checking to make sure his reasons were solid.

"I don't know if she would go into protective custody. If I talked her into it, I don't know that she would be safe. Someone leaked that traffic cam footage pretty damned fast. Do you have any idea how Tara was identified?"

"No, but if the STDs aren't killing people randomly that means that someone in that grocery/liquor store was the target. There were three people in that store at the time of the attack, you, Tara and the store clerk. Who do you think the most likely murder target is?"

"I'm the most likely, but Tara getting identified so quickly makes me wonder if she couldn't have been the primary target."

"That's my thinking."

"I'll talk to Tara and see if there's someone in her past that might want to kill her."

"Call me if you get anything useful from her. Jax, I'm pretty close to my due date. I could go into early labor . . ."

"You are making me regret giving you my swimmers, Wendy," Jax said.

"I know. The timing sucks. If I do have to go out on early leave, Kohn is fully briefed."

"I can't stand that guy."

"I know, but the other guy that was going to fill in for me got run down by a car when a drunk driver mixed up the gas and brake pedals."

"Fucking drunk drivers."

"Amen to that," she said. "Kohn is competent and you have my private secret number if you really need to talk to me. I'm going to do my best to hold out until after the big event the one that isn't me giving birth."

"Just have them stitch you closed. Keep the kid inside you."

"You do know that isn't how childbirth works."

"Glad I'm a man," Jax said chuckling.

"How much do you trust Tara?"

"I'd trust her with my life."

"You may have to," Wendy said softly. "Watch your back."

"Just don't go into labor and I'll be good," Jax said ending the call.

"

"

_**Author's Note: I shuffled some chapters so the Lady Macbeth chapter may be the next on or the one after depending on the pacing.**_


	23. Chapter 23

5

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 23**

**DAY 3: **_**Let's Just Trash the STDs Theory**_

"

Tara was tired of being cooped up in the cabin. She pulled on her pair of tennis shoes and laced them tightly so they wouldn't come off when she walked in deep snow. She added a sweater before buttoning her jacket over it and pulling on her rosy pink cap and gloves.

Seeing snow had lost its magic after living in Chicago. At first, she'd loved how it blanketed grimy Chicago making it look clean, new and fresh. That quickly changed. The snow became a gray, dirty, slushy inconvenience.

She walked out into the snow just as Jax was putting his phone in a zippered pocket.

"Got tired of the cabin. Needed a breath of fresh air."

"This hasn't been a fun trip for you," Jax said.

"Throwing up on you was fun. That was pretty much my highpoint."

Tara was lying. Her real highpoint was Jax ripping the bath towel from his naked muscular body and handing it to her. She wasn't about to say that. His ego was already big enough. If it got any bigger, his head might explode.

She waded through the foot deep snow to him.

"Any news on the STDs?"

"I did find out that the only other person in the grocery store besides us was the clerk."

"So if our theory is right it means the clerk, you or me was the target. I don't really have any enemies."

"No crazy exes or angry parents of patients? Is there anyone who might want you dead? Is there someone who profits from your death?"

"Until I start work in Dallas, I don't even have life insurance. If something happens to me, I guess whatever I have would go to the state because I don't have a will or heirs."

The words made her heart break a little to think that everything she had worked for would go to the government. There was no person in her life to give her belongings. She didn't have anyone to leave life insurance money. Once again, she was struck by how alone she was in the world. She had no one to belong to and no one belonged to her. She didn't even have a pet.

That damned guy that put the gun to her head had awakened a deep sadness in her that was even worse than when she learned her father had died. Her eyes welled up with tears. She turned her head so Jax wouldn't see her weakness.

"What about parents of patients or exes?"

"I have an ex or two, but the break-ups weren't traumatic or out of the ordinary. I've lost a few patients in surgery, but I was assisting in the surgeries. Those surgeries were high risk with low chances of success. I've had sad families, but no one stands out as a threat. No lawsuits."

"I thought it might be you because you were so quickly identified and the picture was so poor."

"I could have been identified by someone who knew we were together ten years ago. It would depend on who saw the picture and how my identity was disclosed. Would it even be possible to find that out?"

Jax shook his head.

"I doubt it. I think you're probably right that I was identified and that person knew us from ten years ago."

"I think if our theory is right, the hit was on you or the clerk. I'm guessing you have a vast number of enemies," Tara said.

"I do have a few. Most of them wouldn't hire out a killing. They would just mow me down in a burst of automatic weapons fire," Jax said his lips twisted in a smile.

"If another MC killed you, there would be blowback on the MC. Hiring a killer would remove the consequences to an MC."

"Meaning someone wants me dead and it's personal rather than MC related," Jax said.

Tara thought that through for a few moments.

"The clerk could have been the true target and the whole message about killing us was just a misdirect," she suggested.

"Or if we're really lucky, we're wrong about the STDs being a band of terminally ill assassins for hire and they are just a group of serial killing terminally ill lunatics randomly killing people instead," Jax said.

"And maybe their threats about killing us are just bluffs. Let's just trash the whole STDs theory."

"It's probably safer if we still act like people are out to kill us."

"That's normal for you, right?"

"Yeah," Jax said. "You want to have a snowball fight?"

"No throws to the face."

"Fair enough."

"I'm terrible at throwing," Tara said as she scooped up snow.

"That's why I suggested it. I'm not going to suggest something I'm bad at."

"Are you bad at anything?"

While Jax thought about that, Tara hit him in the crotch with a snowball. She hit the target, she just didn't have any power in the throw.

"Really making this personal, huh?" Jax said with a gleam in his eye. He hurled small snowballs hitting her in the legs.

She threw two more snowballs completely missing him. He laughed and threw small snowballs at her legs. She tried to hit him again this time with a big fat snowball. He dodged as she aimed the throw and it caught him in the face. He ran up to her through the deep snow with surprising speed.

"I didn't mean to hit you in the face," she apologized quickly. "It was an accident because you moved."

"I'm going to accidentally do something to you," Jax said.

Tara wasn't sure whether she should be excited or scared. She hit the middle feeling scared but excited about being scared. .

"That's not fair. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Jax grabbed her around the waist and brought her to the snow covered ground in one smooth move.

"This feels like a familiar position," Jax said. "Me straddling you. In the past we used to really enjoy this position."

"Damn you Jax Teller, you let me up right now," she said.

She'd long learned that pleading with Jax never worked.

Jax chuckled.

"I never thought I'd hear those words from you again. Come on say them again."

"No, I'm not going to say them again."

"You'll just have to pay the price for your disobedience."

"What's the price?"

"It's too late to bargain," Jax said scooping up snow into a pile near him. "Snow's falling on Tara's face," he said lightly sprinkling the snow on her face. "Oh, no, the snow's coming down faster." He sprinkled more snow on her. "Tara, it's now a blizzard and you're stuck outside. This is bad for you."

He increased the amount of snow he was sweeping over her until it looked like a blizzard.

"OK, you're had your fun. Let me up."

"Tara have you forgotten all the fun we used to have with me straddling you?'

Tara hadn't forgotten all the fun they'd had and her body was telling her that she'd like to have some of that Jax straddling her body fun.

"Damn you Jax Teller, you let me up right now."

Jax stood up and held out a hand to help her up.

"You know Tara, you're not nearly as much fun as you used to be."

Tara had a small snowball she held tightly in her gloved hand so he couldn't see it. She leaned close to him and stuffed the snowball down the front of his jacket.

"OK, you've broken all the snow rules and now, I'll have to punish you when we get inside. You should be scared."

Oh, Tara was scared in the best possible way.


	24. Chapter 24

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 24**

**DAY 3: **_**Damn You, Jax Teller**_

"

Jax and Tara returned to the cabin and removed their shoes, jackets and caps. Tara wondered if Jax were going to make good on his threat or if he were all bluff. She was kind of hoping for some punishment because his punishments almost always ended up feeling like rewards to her.

Jax smiled at her. Tara remembered that smile. It was the "better turn and run like hell" smile. She turned and ran into the kitchen. He caught up with her at the refrigerator. He threw her over his shoulder. Tara thought he was going to dump her on the blow up bed and that was fine with her. That was more than fine. She wouldn't mind having sex with Jax.

As he carried her into the bedroom and past the bed, she'd forgotten to always expect the unexpected with Jax Teller. He dumped her carefully in the shower stall. Before she could react, he'd turned on the taps soaking her to the skin before shutting off the water.

He stood back and admired his handiwork with a smile.

"What the hell did you do that for?" she sputtered angrily.

"Punishment."

"You are _such_ an asshole!"

Jax chuckled.

"I missed this."

Tara started to reach for a towel. Jax moved it.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"To get out of the bathroom and get dry clothes or a towel, you're going to have to take your clothes off."

"No kidding. I had that figured out. Just leave."

"No. This is the extra credit fun for me. I get to watch you take off your clothes."

"I swear to God Jax Teller I'm going to . . ."

"What?" he asked with a wicked grin. "Tell me what you're going to do to me."

"I'll do something when you least expect it," she bluffed.

She had no idea how to get back at him short of putting a pillow over his head tonight and sitting on it. That would be a very brief revenge. He was so much taller and stronger. He made her feel helpless.

"OK," Jax said. He was holding up a towel and moving it like it was dancing. "I bet you would love to have this towel."

"You've had your fun. Come on and leave so I can get dry."

"I haven't finished having my fun. Don't I always know how to get you wet?"

Tara rolled her eyes.

"Time has done nothing to diminish the size of your ego."

"It's actually grown. Just bite the bullet and start stripping."

Tara was starting to shiver in her soaking wet clothes. He had even gotten her hair wet.

"You saw me naked last night."

"I was drunk. I want to see if you look as good as I remembered from last night."

"Son of a bitch. I hate you Jax Teller."

He chuckled.

She knew he would stand there for as long as it took. He could be infinitely patient when he wanted to be.

"You want me to hum a tune for you to strip by?"

"Damn you, Jax Teller," she said.

There was nothing to do but take her clothes off so he would give her the towel to dry off and put on dry clothes. She stripped her clothes off at record speed cursing him the entire time. As soon as she was naked he tossed her the towel.

"You look better than last night," he said giving her a wink.

"Damn you, Jax Teller. Don't think that comment's going to get you off the hook."

"How about I take my clothes off too?" he said with a warm lazy smile. "That way we're even."

Tara couldn't help but laugh. Jax was completely impossible and she should be mad at him forever, but he did have a sense of lightness and fun that she missed in her life. For just a few minutes they were both carefree teens having silly fun together and all the bad between them was gone.

"Get out. I'm going to take a hot shower and warm up before I get dressed."

"Want some help? You know I know where you get the dirtiest. I still remember how you like to be cleaned."

"Out!" she shouted.

"I could warm you up without a shower," Jax suggested.

"I don't know what I ever saw in you."

Jax laughed but he did leave the bathroom.

Tara warmed up with a hot shower and then dried herself off. The entire time she was trying to figure out what was going on with Jax. She overthought things. That was one of her biggest problems. She just thought too much when she should just focus on whether or not something felt good.

She should have given less thought to how mad she was at Jax for making her strip in front of him and more on how much pleasure he could give her. Son of a bitch! She was such a loser.

She walked into the bedroom to grab some clothes from one of her bags. Jax was on the bed, arms behind his head, his eyes closed. Tara returned to the bathroom and dressed quickly while she thought furiously of something she could do to him while he was asleep and defenseless.

She returned to the bedroom and stared at Jax trying to figure out something she could do to him.

"I hid the knives," Jax said, startling her.

"Why would I hurt you?" she asked sweetly.

Jax opened his eyes.

"You know I didn't mean any harm."

"Now, you're rolling out the legendary Jax Teller charm."

"Legendary, huh?"

"Well, at least in your mind."

Jax laughed.

"Picked up a little more edge. I like it."

"You do know I'm not going to sleep with you."

"You've already slept with me and this is the only bed in the cabin."

"I'm not going to have sex with you."

Tara had every intention in the world of having sex with Jax; she just wanted to make him work harder at seducing her. That was the way she was going to get her payback.


	25. Chapter 25

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 25**

**DAY 3: **_**I Will Make You Beg**_

"

Tara had one big advantage over Jax—she had a lot more self-control when it came to sex. She was going to use that advantage. She didn't know whether he wanted her or he just wanted sex and anyone would do. It didn't matter, she was the one with him now. God help her. She did want to try out his new more muscular body.

She mixed up some cornbread adding some frozen corn to the mixture. She dumped it into a cast iron skillet and put it in the oven to bake. She added a little more beer to the chili. Just as she finished, Jax came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

"How long until dinner?"

"Thirty minutes or so. The cornbread needs twenty to twenty-five minutes and then a few minutes to cool."

"So we have plenty of time to really get to know each other better," Jax whispered in her ear.

"What will we do with the remaining twenty-eight minutes?"

Jax laughed. She could feel his hot breath on her neck. It would be so easy to give in, but she would be strong and she would make him beg. He was a ways away from begging now.

"Have I told you today how beautiful you look?"

She drove her left elbow into his stomach.

"I think you may have lost some of your charm over the years," she said sharply.

He released her and went back into the bedroom. She followed him and sat against the wall with a pillow behind her back.

"Thirty minutes is too short a time for me anyway. I've got new skills," he said with a big grin.

"Do you ever think about something other than sex and how skilled _you_ think you are at it?"

He chuckled.

"How skilled I think I am at it? I've never had any complaints."

"Baby, girls don't complain. They laugh about it later with their girlfriends."

Jax crawled on the bed, grabbed her by the ankles and pulled her down on the bed. He straddled her and pinned her arms down.

"Want to change your attitude?" he suggested.

"Truth hurts, does it?" she suggested with a taunting smile.

"I think I may have missed that sharp little tongue of yours."

"I didn't miss you at all. Not even the tiniest bit."

Jax laughed before leaning down. He began to kiss her on her neck and then he switched to taking tiny nibbles out of her neck.

She giggled helplessly. He remembered exactly where she was ticklish.

"Want me to stop?"

"Uh, huh," she managed to say between giggles.

Fortunately for Tara, the timer on her cell phone went off.

"Got to get the cornbread," she said.

Jax let her roll out from under him.

"I'm going to go out and make some quick check in calls," Jax said.

"OK," Tara said.

Jax hadn't expected any news and that's exactly what he received. There were no additional reports of the STDs killing anyone and SAMCRO was doing just fine without him.

Some of the sexual tension between them had evaporated. Jax was still determined to seduce Tara. It might not be short term. There might be away for them to be together if they could find their love for each other and if he could keep them alive.

He'd forgotten just how much fun they used to have together until every minute they spent together turned into a war.

"Texas cooking is delicious," Jax said. "A perfect meal. Chili, cornbread and beer."

"Thank you. I think I just might enjoy living in Texas."

"I found some old DVDs that might be fun to watch."

"OK," Tara said. "I found an unopened bottle of vodka. I'm going to mix it with orange juice. You want one?"

"Sure."

Jax had been thinking about telling Tara more truth about his life. Last night he hadn't told her because she was too drunk to remember. Now she wouldn't be drunk and he wanted her to know. In case something happened to him, he just wanted her to know this truth.

Jax had put a DVD into the player and turned it on when she brought him his drink. She curled up on the bed and took a couple of sips of her drink.

"Remember all the shit you said about Gemma?"

"How could I forget?"

"You were wrong about her."

Tara just gave him a disgusted look and shook her head.

"I don't want to fight over what a saint you think your mother is. Let's just agree to never agree."

"You don't understand," Jax said softly. "She was much worse than you imagined. She and Clay killed my father."

Just telling Tara made him feel lighter. He'd carried Gemma and Clay's guilt around with him ever since he found his father's manuscript.

Tara stared at Jax. Maybe she'd drunk too much because she couldn't possibly have heard Jax right.

_Gemma and Clay killed JT._


	26. Chapter 26

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 26**

**DAY 3: **_**The Lady Macbeth of it All**_

"

Tara took several long moments thinking about Jax's revelation. She'd barely gotten used to the thought that Gemma might have killed her baby daughter Cora. Now Gemma had even more blood on her hands.

"I'm not a Gemma fan. I can kind of see her killing a baby girl. I've heard her say more than once that baby girls should be drowned at birth. I just can't imagine her killing JT."

Tara's mind sometimes went into very dark places where normal minds probably never went. Each time Gemma made the comment about baby girls, she always wondered if that had something to do with Jax because she was jealous of girls sleeping with her son.

She'd never seen any guy's mother act like that around a son. She'd always found all the kissing on the mouth creepy. She didn't blame Jax. He thought that was a normal mother. It wasn't from everything she'd seen.

In a literature class in college, she read a story about a mother's incestuous relationship with her son who didn't know the woman was his mother. The story reminded her of Gemma and Jax. It made her feel dirty and sick to her stomach to think something like that.

The sick to the stomach part might be from the two shots of vodka she'd taken before she mixed the drinks. After she finished her drink, there would be no more drinks tonight. She didn't want to spend another night puking even if the part of doing it on Jax had been kind of fun.

"According to JT's manuscript, he'd been feeling sick for awhile. Gemma used to make him her special raspberry lemonade. He thought that she was poisoning him."

The color drained from Tara's face.

"That's what she gave me when I got sick."

"She might have given you a small dose."

"Oh my God! I thought it was a coincidence."

Now there was no doubt in Tara's mind; Gemma had poisoned her. Leaving Charming may have saved her life in more ways than one.

"In his manuscript, he wrote that he'd been feeling bad with stomach problems for awhile. I caught an old episode of _Forensic Files_. A woman had killed two of her husbands with anti-freeze. Back then, it used to be really sweet and people used it in sweet drinks to kill."

"I remember seeing that on TV too. They've changed the formula and made it bitter. Do you think she could she have paid the STDs for the attack at the grocery store? She wanted to kill me but didn't know you were going to be there."

"I wouldn't put it past her, but you aren't a threat to her yet. If it looked like you were moving to Charming and might be a problem, she might try then to get rid of you."

"If Gemma was poisoning JT, why would she involve Clay?"

"She couldn't keep up the slow poisoning because JT found out about her and Clay having an affair. He found some love letters between them. There were copies in the manuscript."

"Oh, God," Tara said. "Clay doesn't seem like the love letter type."

Her stomach felt worse. She wasn't sure if that was from the alcohol or at the idea of what love letters from Clay and Gemma might say.

Jax took a big gulp of his drink.

"I guess love can do strange things to men. JT and Clay were beefing over the club's selling guns, but it didn't matter. JT may have been the president but he only had one vote. The rest of the guys needed the gun green. Too many ex-wives and child support payments to make. Even outlaw bikers can only escape paying child support for so long before the government catches up to them. Clay claimed the hard feelings were over selling guns. That wasn't true.

"JT was going to present the truth about Gemma and Clay to the table with the letters as proof. He was also going to divorce Gemma and use the truth about Cora as leverage to get Gemma to give him custody of me."

"What would have happened if JT had gone to the table?"

"In the military, adultery can get you court martialed. MC protocol is even stricter. You don't fuck your brother's old lady. You are supposed to be able to count on your brother. You are supposed to be able to trust your brother. Messing around with each other's old ladies would cause the breakdown of the MC. You can't trust your brother if he's sneaking around banging your old lady. Clay would have gotten kicked out of the club. They would have stripped his patch."

Tara took this news in slowly. Jax would know the fine points of MC protocol. If he said Clay would have been stripped of his patch for sleeping with Gemma, she believed him.

"That makes sense. Clay gets kicked out of the club and Gemma's no longer the beautiful biker queen. Clay loses his position in the MC. Gemma loses her status and her kid. Killing JT was their only way out."

"It reminds me of when we read Macbeth in English lit in high school. Lady Macbeth gets her husband to kill the king so her husband can be king only Gemma's version she gets her husband killed so she can marry the new king."

Jax finished his drink, went into the kitchen and mixed himself another screwdriver before returning to the bedroom.

"The truck that hit my father was stolen from a truck stop," Jax said pausing to take another gulp of his drink before continuing. "There was no evidence in the truck's cab. The accident happened on a rarely traveled street in Charming. The truck smashed into my father and dragged him. No brake marks.

"With it happening in Charming, Unser would have had his hand in the investigation. If it had been on the freeway, the CHP would have had jurisdiction."

"How long have you known?"

"Less than ten years and more than nine. I brought my suspicions to Hale. He pulled the reports for me. Looked into it and thought it was likely that my father was deliberately run down."

"You think Clay was the driver?"

"Yeah, I do. He's driven a semi before."

"Jax, I'm really sorry."

Jax shook his head.

"Come on, Tara. You want to gloat over the fact that you were right about Gemma. I can see it on your face."

Maybe it was the alcohol, but all the compassion she was feeling for Jax was gone and she was mad just like the old days.


	27. Chapter 27

3

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 27**

**DAY 3: **_**You Just Had to Bring Up the Past**_

"

This was exactly what Tara didn't want to happen. He was the one who kept saying he didn't want to bring up the past and now here he was throwing it in her face.

"I was feeling sorry for you and all that you've gone through with your mother," Tara said.

She was making a last ditch effort to avoid this escalating into a fight, but she'd just remembered that vodka brought out the worst in Jax. They could drink beer, wine or whiskey. Anything else and there could be trouble.

"Well, you know Tara, I'm not asking for your pity."

Keep your temper and just calm things down, she told herself. Don't feed into this. Vodka had a mellowing effect on her so there was a chance they could get through this evening without an epic fight.

"That's right because Jax Teller is too big and tough to ever want pity and compassion from anyone. That's for weak people like me."

Damn the vodka. Tara didn't know what the hell had just happened. She'd opened her mouth and the soothing words she intended to say somehow didn't come out. Some other words did. Could this be a new side effect of vodka?

"I didn't say that."

"No, but that's what you were thinking. You've always thought of me as this weak, wimpy person."

"You were the one that needed a hug after all the shit with the STDs," Jax said sarcastically.

Tara jumped to her feet.

"You are a stupid son of a bitch without a shred of humanity in your soul," she'd raised her voice. "I'm so fucking sorry that I was upset because a man held a gun to my head and was going to kill me and then I'm on a motorcycle dodging bullets in a high speed chase. Sorry I'm not tough enough to shrug it off."

Jax got off the bed and moved closer to her.

"That's right, I am a stupid son of a bitch because I'm just a blue collar mechanic and you're the fancy doctor. That's what you've always thought. You're so much superior to me."

"Damn you Jax Teller. That isn't what I think. I've never thought that. I don't know how many times I've told you that I don't think I'm smarter or better than you. Nothing gets through that fucking thick head of yours."

"Well, I just can't think as fast as that fancy brain of yours."

"This is just like ten years ago. I'd tell you something and it wouldn't matter how many times I'd tell you I could never get through to you."

"You're brain is just so fucking much better."

"That's it. I'm not going to continue with this fight. It's not going to go anywhere. We just say the same damned things and we get absolutely no where. Ten years older and at least I finally know that. Go argue with your fucking self. I'm going to take a sleeping pill and go to sleep."

"What's this? A new version of you slamming the door."

That was one thing she had a habit of doing. She'd just leave and slam the door behind her. When they lived together, she'd go in the bedroom and slam the door. It was the only way she knew how to de-escalate the fight.

"What's the point of keeping this fight going? We never ever solve anything. We're not together. We're never going to be together again. We hate each other."

"Fuck you Tara."

"No thanks. I'd rather take a sleeping pill," Tara said sarcastically.

She went to her bag and pulled out her cosmetics case that also contained her birth control pills, sleeping pills and Xanax that she took when she had to fly.

"You've got a bunch of pills there."

"I'm not a pot head like you," she said.

"I don't use anymore. When they made it legal, it wasn't outlaw, so I quit using."


	28. Chapter 28

2

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 28**

**DAY 3: **_**I Knew You'd Make This About Gemma**_

_**"**_

Tara laughed at the idea of Jax giving up weed because it wasn't outlaw anymore. For a second, it broke the tension between them.

"So what do you do now to stay outlaw? Oxy? Or heroin?"

Jax scowled at Tara. He didn't like that she was laughing at him. Usually he had a pretty self-deprecating sense of humor, but tonight she was just grating on his nerves.

"I don't do anything. I gave up cigarettes. That's how I ended up in that fucking market/liquor store. I was going to get one last pack of smokes. Son of a bitch. I have bad luck."

"I would have thought you would think that you had good luck because you saved my life," Tara said sharply.

She was mad because he was calling it bad luck that he rescued her. That was cold and mean. Jax was such an asshole. Once more, she was reminded of things that never change. She was happy she wasn't with him anymore.

"Yeah, I'm not sure how that's going to work out," Jax said.

"Bastard."

"See? You have no sense of humor."

"I'm so fucking sorry that I find nothing about having a loaded gun pressed against my head funny. You could have showed me one tiny shred of compassion."

"I'm sorry I was too busy figuring out how to take care of a parking lot of killers instead of taking care of you an adult woman."

"Afterwards, you could have been kinder to me."

"What the hell difference does it make?" he shouted. "I don't have to put up with your constant need for hugs and reassurance. Your fucking insecurity drove me crazy."

Tara gasped. She felt like he'd punched her. In relationships there are always things that are left unsaid because saying them meant the relationship was over because there was going to be no coming back. She'd never said the words but she was drunk and the sleeping pills were beginning to hit her system making her not care about consequences and his verbal jab hurt.

"The only person you can show love, care and compassion to is your mother. I never felt you needed a girlfriend because you had your mother."

"What the hell do you mean by that?" he demanded. His eyes blazed bright blue with fury.

"The way your mother was always making out with you is kind of sick and over normal mother/son boundaries. I think she used to kiss you on the mouth more than she kissed Clay."

"I should never have told you about Gemma. I knew you would throw it up to me the first chance you got. Didn't take you long. You don't know what my relationship with Gemma is like now, _so shut the fuck up about it_."

"Of course I'll do that. I'm just this weak willed little wimp who needs to be controlled by you. I'm going to sleep."

Tara got into bed and pulled the sheet and blankets over her and closed her eyes.

_"Bitch," _Jax hissed at her.

No more vodka for Jax, Tara thought as she drifted off to sleep._  
_


	29. Chapter 29

2

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 29**

**DAY 3: Finding Jax**

_**"**_

Jax wondered when he lost himself. He didn't know who he was anymore. He hadn't for some time. He just realized it with the assistance of too much vodka.

It didn't really matter who the hell he was anymore. In a few more weeks, there was a good chance that Jax Teller would no longer exist—at least not in the present or future.

He had to give himself credit for how quickly he'd gotten Tara to lose her temper. It might be a new record if he could remember what the fastest time was when they were together. Maybe she lost her temper faster when they weren't together.

The fight was her fault as usual. When he said he had bad luck by going into the liquor mini mart place, he hadn't meant it was bad luck that he'd saved her, but she jumped to that conclusion because that was how Tara behaved. Ten years later and she still couldn't stay calm and not jump to conclusions. She was never going to change.

It was so fucking typical of her to want him to hug her and make all the bad go away when the parking lot was full of killers that were coming in to shoot them.

In ten years, how the hell could she not have learned that a fucking hug did not magically make everything better? She ought to try getting through some of his tough days.

Her insecurity and neediness gradually got to him until he couldn't stand it anymore. Even a paper cut needed a hug and a kiss on the Band-Aid over the cut. At first, it was cute and sweet. By the fiftieth time, he wanted to shoot her or himself.

He should have mentioned her jealousy to her. At first, it made him feel loved. That faded pretty quickly. If he glanced at another girl, she would demand to know if he thought the girl was prettier. She would go through his phone and then the inquisition would begin. He hadn't even cheated on her despite many many opportunities because he was Jax fucking Teller.

This talk with himself had helped him. Now he knew who he was—he was Jax fucking Teller!

_**A/N Can these two ever get together again? Should they?**_


	30. Chapter 30

2

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 30**

**DAY 4: **_**Double Mad**_

_**"**_

Jax apologized so sweetly. He told her that his head had been spinning since he saw her. He was fighting his love for her because he was afraid she didn't love him anymore. He pushed her away and said hurtful things to protect his heart from her breaking it. He didn't mean any of the vile things he'd said. She was the only girl he'd ever loved. She was the love of his life and his soul mate.

Then he made love to her so perfectly. He dazzled her showing off one of his newly acquired sex skills—_foreplay_!

The sex was the best ever. No man ever made her feel like Jax. He was the only man who could set her on fire with desire and then do such a thorough job quenching that fire that only he could ignite.

They had sex again. This time he demonstrated some new skills with his fingers. It was amazing and it felt like the earth actually moved.

Tara opened her eyes, rolled over and saw Jax sleeping with his back to her. Son of a bitch! It had all been a dream. She should have known it was all a dream because sex with Jax usually ended with him asking "you good, babe?". Bastard.

His telling her she needed constant hugs and reassurance unleashed her fury all over again. _Her_ insecurity drove him crazy. When he'd said that she nearly said that at least she didn't make out with her father. She'd held back, although she'd kind of said that in a more subtle way. Damn you Jax Teller.

She got up, used the bathroom and returned. She stared at Jax. She was mad at him from the fight, but she was double mad that his apology and the sex had just been a dream. That dream part may not be his fault, but she wasn't in the mood to be fair. It was all his fault.

He thought he was so damned perfect. He walked with this confident swing of his hips so girls would think he was so great in bed. He was smug, conceited, arrogant and in general a supreme asshole. He was Jax fucking Teller.

"

_**A/N Could Jax be the lover he thinks he is or is Tara just so angry she's being unkind?**_


	31. Chapter 31

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 31**

**DAY 4: **_**Might be hitting the wall, not that I'm saying there is a wall**_

_**"**_

Tara woke up still double mad at Jax. At least, she was less mad at him for calling her needy and insecure. His comment had cut to the bone because there was an element of truth to it.

At sixteen, she had been emotional, needy and insecure, but that was what life was like for most sixteen year old girls. He could been more understanding. Damn it. She was getting angry all over again at him for calling her insecure and needy. She had only been sixteen! Damn you Jax Teller!

When she was getting over the pain of breaking up with Jax, she started by hating him. That lasted for a few years. She couldn't remember when the hate gave way to indifference.

She'd been free of Jax Teller for a couple of years now and it felt good. Now, she was back to hating him all over again. It was bad, not because she hated Jax but because she was having feelings for him. Feelings were treacherous. They could change from hate into something she refused to feel ever again for Jax—love.

When she realized he wasn't in the cabin, she looked out the window and saw him sitting in the SUV a couple of hundred feet from the cabin. He must either be making a long phone call or he was really mad at her and was staying in the SUV to get away from her. That was just fine with her. He could stay out there and freeze to death.

Tara wasn't the only one still mad; Jax was angry with Tara. He had confessed a painful secret to her about Clay and Gemma and she turned it around almost instantly and thrown it in his face. His current relationship with both Clay and Gemma was complex and always evolving. Even he found himself confused by it. It was going to get a lot worse soon and it was never going to get any better.

He brought his laptop in the hope that Wendy had some information she could send him. Before he talked to Wendy, he talked to Juice to find out what was happening on the SAMCRO front. Things continued to remain good with their security business. They had Tacoma and Rogue River providing temporary assistance.

Jax checked in with Wendy and then he called her on an off the books stealth burner phone.

"I'm surprised this still works," Jax said.

"I keep it charged and I test it periodically."

"Remember when I first started this, you told me that I was going to hit a wall."

"Of course I remember. What's up?" Wendy asked gently.

"I might be hitting the wall, not that I'm saying there is a wall."

"I understand perfectly. This is always the worst time right before the end."

Jax didn't have a single person in life he could go to for advice. It was a lonely isolated life.

"Jax, you know you can trust me; that's why you have the secret phone. You can tell me anything even if it's something you think I don't want to hear."

There was a long pause.

"I don't know what to do about Tara."

"You know I can keep her safe. Outside of law enforcement. I have some secure places off the grid."

Jax realized this was a major breach of protocol and Wendy was risking her job to offer him this help for Tara.

"Yeah, I'll think about it."

"That isn't the real problem, is it?"

"I don't know."

"Would it make it easier for you or harder if you told her the truth about everything?"

"I don't know that either."

"Assuming she isn't a safety threat and you can trust her completely, why wouldn't you tell her?"

Jax thought that through for a long moment and came up with nothing. He couldn't remember the last time his mind was this blank.

"You keep asking me questions that I don't have answers to."

"How do you feel about her? You have any lingering feelings deep inside?"

"I'm madder than hell at her right now."

"Well, that's a start," Wendy said brightly.

Jax laughed.

"Thanks, Wendy."

"I sent you some info on what we have on the STDs' victims and info on the STDs that were killed in the market attack. There's still so much we don't know."

"I can't stay hidden away forever."

"Give it a couple of more days. More investigators and computer techs are coming on board."

"Thanks."

"Yesterday, Abel was kicking the hell out of my stomach. I told him to knock that off and he quit and started doing somersaults. This morning he was kicking again, I said good morning to him and tapped my stomach. He kicked where my hand was. Being pregnant is just magical."

Jax smiled and for a few seconds, his world was a brighter, happier place.

"Glad to hear that. I'll check in tomorrow."

"Consider telling her. I'm not supposed to say that, but that's what off the grid phones are for."

"OK. I'll give it some thought," Jax said ending the call.

He pulled up the files Wendy had sent him. Nothing stuck out, but he knew it was going to take digging.

He didn't know what the hell he was going to do about Tara. He wished she'd never returned to Charming. It would make his life so much easier if she had just stayed the fuck away.


	32. Chapter 32

3

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 32**

**DAY 4: **_**Argue Now or Later?**_

_**"**_

Jax took another look at the information Wendy sent him. He was just putting off going back to the cabin and seeing Tara. Wendy's option of putting Tara somewhere off the grid to keep her safe was looking like a great option except he didn't think Tara would agree to go. She was just so damned hard headed and stubborn.

He was still madder than hell about her comment about Gemma kissing him on the mouth. Her insinuations were disgusting. In the end, nothing mattered. No future with Tara. No love for Tara. Nothing mattered.

He would get through the next few days, the STDs would be caught and life would be better until it wasn't.

Jax stalled long enough. Time to face Tara. She was reading a book sitting on the bed. She used to do that a lot when they lived together in that small one room apartment. Some of the happiest times of his life had been in that apartment with her.

"The guy plowed the drive and the roads are open," Jax said.

"Good. We're not trapped in the cabin anymore. Is there any news on the STDs front?"

"No. It could be awhile."

They were speaking politely like strangers. That was fine with Jax. He didn't need anymore conversations about the past.

"Could we get out of here at least for a little while today?"

"It beats spending the day arguing," Jax replied.

"We can save that for tonight," Tara said with a hint of sarcasm.

"There isn't any point arguing about anything. We don't have a future together and in a few days we'll be able to go our separate ways."

Tara was still mad at Jax and it seemed like he was constantly pointing out that there was no future for them.

"It can't be soon enough for me," she snapped.

"If you're that unhappy, you could always leave and handle the STDs situation on your own."

"My memory of you is faulty. I remember you having some charm. Guess I remembered wrong."

"Guess you did," he said curtly. "I'll be ready to leave in twenty minutes. If you aren't ready then, I'll leave you."

This was good, Tara told herself. He was making it easy to hate him. Then, she remembered the treachery of hate and how it could twist itself into love. She refused to fall in love with Jax Teller. That path led to misery, heartbreak and hell. He'd made it clear there was no future for them and she was clear in her mind there was no future for them either.

Jax spent his time setting up cameras covering both doors, the kitchen/living area and the bedroom. He linked them to his laptop and tested the cameras.

"You really do know about security," Tara said.

"Yeah, it wasn't too hard for a blue-collar idiot like me to learn."

Tara gasped.

"I was trying to pay you a compliment."

"I don't need your compliments."

Tara held her tongue because she was afraid if she shared her opinion of Jax, he'd leave her at the cabin. She wondered if part of his attitude was related to her comments from last night about how often his mother kissed him on the mouth.

Making that comment about Gemma was probably stepping over the line, but he hadn't been kind to her. She might have apologized for making the comment, but she was too mad at him. Besides, when you don't have a future with someone, you don't have to take care of the relationship. Apologies weren't necessary anymore.

Jax put on an ankle holster and put a gun in it. He then put on a shoulder holster and gun and put a hoodie over it. Next, he put his laptop in it's bag.

"Let's go," Jax said.

Tara didn't wait for him to tell her twice because he would just leave her. She put her seatbelt on and waited until they had gone a couple of miles before asking where they were going. She was afraid if she asked too close to the cabin, he'd kick her out of the SUV.

"Just to this mall kind of thing. Maybe tomorrow we'll go tubing if you don't piss me off too much."

"I promise I'll be good," the words were out of Tara's mouth before she could stop them. They would probably piss him off some more.

"You don't keep your promises."

"You don't want to talk about the past, but you throw it up to me. Now if saying that gets me punished, fine. Turn the SUV around and take me back to the cabin or even better, just pull over and make me get out. Maybe I'll freeze to death and you'll be rid of me."

Jax didn't reply. He was having great success with his new plan to push her away and make her hate him. It would make everything easier later.


	33. Chapter 33

5

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 33**

**DAY 4: **_**Uninvited Guests**_

_**"**_

Jax turned on the radio to fill the silence between them. It worked. They listened to the music without talking.

Tara tried to focus on just getting through the next couple of days. She didn't know what was wrong with Jax, but she didn't think she was the sole cause of his mood.

Jax was thinking about how he suspected someone in law enforcement was helping the STDs. There were so many it would be hard to find that one person if he were even right.

"I keep coming back to this idea that someone in law enforcement is helping the STDs," Jax said. "The traffic cam footage just got out too fast. This is probably crazy, but Unser has prostrate cancer."

"Do you know how long he's had it or what stage it's at?"

Tara was glad Jax was talking to her again. She didn't like this friction between them. They needed to at least keep up a polite façade.

"No. He told Gemma it's not that serious, but he looks sick to me."

"Why would he join or maybe even start the STDs?"

"There's a piece to the puzzle you don't know. Unser's wife divorced him. They had to sell the house, she'll get half his retirement and she got half of all the earnings from Unser's trucking company. About the only thing she didn't get half of was the money Clay kicks back to him."

"So he sort of blocks for the STDs by making sure no police units get dispatched to where there's an STDs attack. Who does dispatch for Charming?"

"The county. He doesn't have direct assess, but there is a map showing cars' locations. He would be able to tell them how long they had before the cops would get there."

"You think he would be part of murder for hire? There's a big difference between looking the other way here and there for Clay, but murder's a big step."

"That divorce changed Unser. It left him a wreck. He got hit with his prostrate diagnosis a couple of months later. Maybe he helps the STDs a bit so he can leave Charming and spend what time he's got left on a tropical island somewhere."

"How can we check this out?"

"I've got someone who might help. It's probably just a crazy theory," Jax said.

"The entire idea of a psycho group of killers running around and killing is crazy too, but we've both experienced it firsthand."

"After we get to the mall, I'll make a quick call."

"Juice and his magic hacking skills?"

"Yeah, something like that," Jax said drily.

She looked at him and for a crazy moment, he felt like the Jax she used to know and love. And then the moment was gone. It had to have just been her imagination.

When they stopped, Jax stayed in the car to make a call while Tara walked to the entrance to the mall and waited. A few minutes later, Jax joined her and they walked into the mall together.

"There's a market at that end," Jax said pointing. "We can get whatever food we need for a couple of more days."

"Is there a bookstore here?"

"I think it's down by the market. How about lunch first?"

Tara was happy that Jax's inner asshole seemed to be gone for at least a few minutes. She didn't like conflict, but she didn't run from it as she had as a teen.

"There's a great rib and steak place here. You want to go there?" Jax suggested.

"Yeah, we can just do sandwiches for dinner."

Jax led them to the restaurant. It was a little strange walking with Jax. When they were together his arm was always around her or they held hands. They always seemed to be touching back when they were together.

They shared an order of onion rings. Jax had ribs and steak and Tara had steak. They managed to talk about things that didn't matter—movies they'd seen and TV shows they watched. It was a nice safe conversation and neither mentioned the past in any way.

Tara was excited that there was a real bookstore in the mall. Bookstores were getting to be like museums. She loved to look at the books and read the summaries.

"What do you have there?" Jax asked.

She'd been standing in one place for awhile.

"There's a whole series of books about this young man who grows up in an outlaw motorcycle club," Tara explained.

"You know what that's like. You don't really need to read the book."

"It's a series," Tara said. "I'm going to get the whole six book series."

"Why don't you try one? I don't think you will like it."

"I love books and I want these."

Tara couldn't figure out why Jax was so interested in the books she wanted to read or why he cared. Maybe this was just part of new Jax.

Buying books was a luxury she'd missed when she was in college and medical school. She went to the library then. Having the money to buy books now helped make all her sacrifices worth it. After she got her books, they left and headed for the market.

"Stay close," Jax said when they walked into the market.

She nodded her head and didn't say anything. She didn't want to have another panic attack. He had been so sweet to her then. She liked that version of Jax.

They got sandwiches, some beer and some macaroni salad at the market. This time Tara was able to stay composed.

Jax pulled off a mile or so from the cabin where he could get a signal and checked his laptop's video feed from the cameras to make sure no one had visited the cabin while they were gone. Tara thought this efforts were a little extreme, but she didn't say anything. She preferred caution to reckless.'

Everything was going so well between them. There were no more fights. They carefully avoided any mention of the past. They watched TV and talked very little.

Tara buried herself in her book and discovered the writer seemed to have an amazing grasp on the outlaw MC world. Jax had been an outstanding writer in his creative writing class. His teacher, Mr. Hill, thought he could have a successful writing career. Could Jax possibly be the writer? Is that why he didn't want her to read the books? Tara hoped as she got into the books she would learn more and discover if Jax might have written the books.

They fell asleep each staying on their own side of the bed.

"Tara," Jax whispered urgently. "Tara, wake up."

"What's wrong?"

"We have company. There are cameras outside. We have two minutes until the STDs get here."

That was one thing about Jax, he was at his best when his back was against the wall and he had to think fast. Now, her life depended on it.


	34. Chapter 34

3

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 34**

**DAY 4/5: **_**Bloodshed**_

_**"**_

Jax was on his feet and moving to the kitchen through the dark.

"Just do what I tell you and we'll be OK. Come help me move the washer in front of the back door."

Tara shut her brain off and focused on following Jax's directions.

"Now get my two guns on the dresser and don't turn on the lights."

Jax bent down to an uneven tile on the kitchen floor. He lifted it and pulled out an AR with a silencer. He checked the clip. This was the advantage of selling illegal firearms; there was always a couple around if you knew where to look.

Tara returned with the guns. He took the larger of the two guns that had been in his shoulder holster and shoved it into the back waistband of his sweats.

"Take the little gun and go into the bathroom, lock the door and get in the tub. If someone comes into the bathroom shoot. The gun's ready to go. Hurry."

Tara nodded and went into the bathroom. She knew that Jax was trying to protect her and she didn't have the skills to be of much use to him. All she could do was follow directions and let him save them or he would die trying.

Jax loved the adrenaline rush from danger. His mind moved quickly and he never felt more alive than when he was facing death. He didn't think about the men he was about to kill. It was kill or be killed and he didn't give any thought beyond that. He often thought of himself as a soldier and today the battlefield was this cabin.

He heard someone attempt to kick the kitchen door in. He made a second attempt. The other two had just kicked the front door in and were rushing to the bedroom. He'd left the French doors open. The kitchen guy had joined the other two. They ripped up the bed with automatic weapons fire.

Jax had positioned himself by the kitchen table using it to give him a little cover. He stood up and took all three down with a couple of passes of his AR. The silencer kept the noise down to a sort of snicking sound.

He'd shot them in the back. He'd long ago lost any aversion he might have had to shooting people in the back. Shooting someone in the back was smart because they can't shoot you if they aren't facing you.

"Tara, it's OK. Come out now."

Tara scrambled out of the bathtub on shaking legs. She put the gun in the waistband of her leggings, unlocked the bathroom door and walked out into the bedroom.

"Pack up all of our stuff. We have two minutes until the next team arrives. My laptop and my cut are already in my bag."

Jax switched on the lights turned the men over and used the camera on his cell phone to take pictures. Next he went through their pockets. No IDs.

"I'm done," Tara said.

"Good. You are going to drive our SUV. Turn left and drive five miles, turn around and drive ten miles. I'll call you with the GPS coordinates to pick me up at. I'm taking their car and hiding it. Maybe police forensics might find something."

He grabbed their bags and put them inside the SUV.

"Go."

Tara got in the car and turned left. Jax got into the gunmen's car and turned right. Everything had happened so quickly, Tara felt numb. Her feelings couldn't catch up.

She had been so busy grabbing their stuff and packing, she hadn't gotten much of a look at the three men Jax had killed. Maybe that was part of his strategy. He wanted her busy packing so she didn't see the dead bodies and fall apart. He didn't need to bother. She had seen plenty of dead bodies as a doctor and she had no pity for these men who were going to kill them.

She turned around and drove back. She didn't like being apart from Jax. She felt safe with him. Even back in high school, she always felt safe with him.

In medical school, she'd learned how to turn off all her thoughts and focus exclusively on what she was doing at that exact moment. She was using that skill now. She was focusing on driving the miles Jax had instructed her. She was passing the cabin. It was engulfed in flames. _What the hell was going on?_


	35. Chapter 35

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 34**

**DAY 4/5: The What's on Fire?**

_**"**_

Tara got a call from Jax. He was a short distance away. She still hadn't reacted to what had just happened with the three men coming to the cabin to kill them. She needed a blank mind to function.

She slowed the SUV as she saw Jax on the side of the road.

"Do you want to drive?" she asked as he got into the SUV.

"Not right now. I need to do some things."

"The cabin's on fire."

"The what's on fire?" Jax asked turning his head to stare at her. He didn't think he heard her correctly.

"The cabin," she repeated.

"Were there men there?"

"No. No one was there."

"Turn around. I want to take a look."

"OK," Tara said slowing the vehicle and turning it around. "It's completely on fire."

"Did you call it in?"

"No. I figured that was a you decision."

They passed the cabin. It was still fully engulfed in flames.

"Can I use your phone to call it in?"

"My phone's in my shoulder bag in the back zippered compartment."

"Thanks."

Jax quickly found her phone and called 911. He didn't give the cabin's address. He described the cabin's location the way a passing motorist would giving geographical features to the dispatcher.

"Why would they set the cabin on fire?"

"I turned the cabin's cameras on before we left. We may not know why, but we might see who," Jax said.

"That was genius."

"I try."

He got his laptop out of its bag inside his duffel bag from the back seat and connected his smartphone to the laptop to use it to power his laptop's Wi-Fi.

"Son of a bitch!" Jax said, slamming hand against the dashboard in anger.

"No video?"

"They wore ski masks. No way to recognize them. The video cuts out before I can tell if they left the bodies in the cabin."

"Why the hell would they wear ski masks?" Tara shook her head. "We were supposed to be dead and if we weren't, they were going to kill us."

"They might have thought the first team parked behind the cabin and they didn't want anyone from the first team to recognize them if they were still at the cabin," Jax suggested.

"That's the only thing that makes sense unless that's just the second team's procedure."

"That wasn't the procedure at the market."

"Different STDs maybe different procedures. You've killed a bunch of them. How many more could there be?"

"I'm back to the theory that this is an organized hit team for hire. It's hard to believe some murderous cult is after us to avenge their honor because we escaped getting killed."

"Wait a second," Tara said with excitement in her voice, "if the second team didn't want the first team to recognize them does that mean that someone on the second team knew someone from the first team?"

"The real question is do all the STDs know each other or is it compartmentalized, so if any of them get arrested or rat to law enforcement it limit's the damage? That's how I'd run it."

"I think my head's going to explode. There are just too many possibilities."

"You are doing great. You stayed calm back there."

"I followed your directions."

"See how much better life is when you just do what I say?"

Tara looked over at Jax and saw that he was smiling. She smiled at him. This time it was a joke, but back when they were together it was a source of fights. MC guys wanted their women to do as they are told. She was never going to be that girl.

"I'll do what you tell me when my life's in danger."

"Back when we were together, I wanted you to do what I told you to do. It drove me crazy that you wanted to think for yourself. The girls that came after you drove me crazy because they didn't think for themselves. They did what I told them and I hated it and eventually them."

Jax leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

"That's even more surprising than getting attacked in the middle of the night by the STDs."

Jax laughed.

"I've evolved a bit."

"Are we safer together or apart?"

Jax thought through her question.

"If the hit is against you, it's better for you to be with me."

"But it's not safer for you."

"That isn't a consideration. It seems much more likely that I'm the target. If that's true, I could get you to somewhere where you would be safe, but that assumes I know who to trust. I'm not sure who to trust not with 100% certainty."

"Do you trust me completely?"

"Yeah. Even when we were at our worst, we always kept each other's secrets and we kept our relationship between us."

"We did do some things right. I trust you too. What about the person you called about Unser and then the STDs visit us tonight. Coincidence?"

"I don't know. Even if I got you somewhere safe. That might not stop someone from hunting you and taking you."

"Why?"

"To use you to trade for me."

"You would do that?"

"Of course. It's not even something I need to think about."

That was the Jax that she knew. He had that fierce protective side to him that she loved. It was still there. Was it because he still had feelings for her or was it because he felt a duty to keep her safe? That was what made her crazy. She overthought everything.

"So, you think we are safer together?" she asked softly.

"I do. I'll always do what's best to keep you safe."

Tara realized that she was now in danger of losing her heart to Jax Teller all over again.

**_Author's Note: Thanks to all the readers and your wonderful and interesting comments on my story. I find it very motivating. I've always loved the idea of Jax and Tara on the run not knowing who to trust except each other. _**


	36. Chapter 36

3

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 36**

**DAY 5: Silver Linings**

_**"**_

The adrenaline rush Jax had gotten when the STDs tripped the outdoor silent alarm was beginning to fade. It was a little after 3 am and he hadn't gotten much sleep last night or the night before.

"I've booked a room in a hotel. Turn left at the light and keep driving. It should be on the right. It's about ten minutes away."

"What's the plan?" Tara asked.

"Get some sleep, stay here for a couple of days while I figure out our next move. This is a pretty nice place so they'll be security cameras all over the place. That should keep the STDs away even if they find us. The danger will come when we leave. I'm tired and my brain's fried. I need sleep and then I'll come up with something."

"OK."

"I've already done on the hotel check in stuff on line."

"Do you think anyone will recognize us from all the media coverage?"

"Possible, but unlikely. We aren't criminals. We were the victims. Just say you don't see the resemblance and shrug it off."

"OK."

Jax stored the AR with the silencer in a compartment specially built under the back seat to be undetectable. He didn't want hotel staff finding the gun in his room. He would keep the two handguns with him. They should provide enough firepower. He wasn't worried about the hotel. The more people they were around, the safer they would be.

Jax focused on the immediate and that was getting them safely into the hotel. He needed sleep and then he would begin to think about everything including what he was going to do about Tara. Each time he thought he had things figured out with her, it changed.

They put their jackets on before walking into the hotel. Jax's lightweight sweats and Tara's leggings didn't look at all out of place. In California underdressing usually didn't draw attention. It was someone well dressed that stuck out.

"I need a few more minutes on the computer and then I'm going to take a shower and go to bed."

"I'll take a quick shower. I just want to get the cabin feel off me."

"I get that. Could you put the "do not disturb" sign on the door? I don't want housekeeping waking us."

"Sure," Tara said. She put the sign out and locked the door with the heavy bolt that would keep someone from entering their room even with a key card.

Tara took a quick shower and was turning down the bed when Jax shut his laptop.

"Did you tell Gemma and SAMCRO about the fire?"

"Not yet. I want to see how the situation plays out a little more."

"Gemma might think you're dead."

"I know," Jax said.

Tara added that to the long list of mysteries to solve. She wanted to know just what was going on between Jax and his mother. Jax from ten years ago would have already told Gemma and SAMCRO about the fire. She wondered if this were a sign of a more frosty relationship with his mother and the MC or if this lapse was more strategic.

Tara had brushed her teeth again despite having done it before bed at the cabin. She wanted to wipe that night out of her mind. Life was easier when you thought less.

Tara got into bed automatically choosing the side further from the door. Jax always slept closest to the door no matter which way the bed faced or how the furniture was arranged. After ten years, she still remembered. Certain facts from their life together were embedded in her.

Jax had left the door open not partially open as he usually did. She wondered if this had been deliberate or just out of habit. He normally didn't close the door at all when he showered. Jax Teller was a bit of a showman.

From her spot in bed, she could see the bathroom mirror and the reflection of a naked Jax in the shower. Sometimes you get awakened in the middle of the night by three psychopaths who want to kill you for mysterious reasons, but you get to fall back to sleep watching your hot as hell ex soap himself up and shower. She smiled to herself as she drifted off to sleep.


	37. Chapter 37

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 37**

**DAY 5: A Man and a Woman**

_**"**_

Jax woke to the soft sound of pages in a book being turned. Sometimes if Tara woke up first, she would pick up a book and read until he woke up. Even after they had made love, sometimes she would wait until he was asleep, turn on the reading light by the bed and read.

At first when she read after sex, it annoyed him. He thought she should be exhausted after sex. Eventually, they talked about it and she explained men and women just have different biological responses.

He fell back to sleep for a few minutes lulled by the comforting sound of pages being turned. He hadn't thought about Tara reading in bed in years. Now that he'd found the memory again, he would miss it.

When he opened his eyes, Tara was dressed and reading the news on her phone.

"Any news about the cabin?" Jax asked.

"I couldn't find any. It happened late, it may take awhile before it gets reported. Do you think they left the bodies in the cabin or took them out?"

"You set a fire to destroy evidence or to try to hide the identity of the people who were killed."

"I hope those pictures you took help."

"It's just a matter of time before we get more information. I'm going to get dressed and then we'll get lunch."

Tara picked up her book and resumed reading. The more she read, the more she was sure that Jax either wrote the book or wrote it with someone. The girl in the book aside from having auburn hair and green eyes seemed to have a lot of her personality traits. The protagonist was a tall man with dark hair and blue eyes and also seemed surprisingly like Jax except the hair color.

Jax thought he was so damned clever, but she was going to trip him up and he would have no choice except admit that he was true writer of the books. She just had to figure out how to set the trap up.

Jax took his laptop and phones with him.

"I'm going to lock my laptop in the car."

"That security business SAMCRO started has sure been a big influence on you," Tara said innocently.

"You have no idea," Jax said with an enigmatic smile.

Tara knew Jax was more than an outlaw biker. She would get to the bottom of that too when the moment was right. So many mysteries. She hoped she would live to see them solved.

"Let's make a deal. At lunch, tubing and dinner, we don't talk about the STDs, the burned down cabin or anything else," Jax suggested.

"We can pretend we have a normal life."

Jax looked at Tara. She had no idea that he hadn't had a normal life in years and he would never have a normal life. The last time he'd had a truly normal sort of life had been when he and Tara had been together before he joined the MC. It felt like a hundred years ago.

They found the tubing area.

"I'm surprised you don't want to snow board," Tara said.

"I would, but I can't take the risk of getting an injury."

Tara made no reply because it would lead to talking about the STDs. Jax might need to fight. That's why he couldn't risk an injury. That was the biggest difference about men in her world and men in Jax's world.

In the world of surgeons and of course that included her, hands were protected and used to heal. In Jax's world, hands were weapons and used to hurt, protect and sometimes kill. She just realized that might explain why she never felt safe dating a surgeon. Maybe that was also why she couldn't find a man that could measure up to Jax.

She wasn't going to spoil the day anymore by thinking about the past or about how she was almost murdered in a mini market her first day back in Charming and was nearly killed last night.

Jax and Tara had a great time tubing. There was something about flying down that hill with the cold air in her face. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had so much fun.

On the last run, her inner tube hit Jax's and they ended up tangled up together. They were so close and it would have been so damned easy, but Jax didn't kiss her. That son of a bitch! Even just a brush of his lips across her cheek, but she got nothing. If he hadn't saved her life a couple of times, she would be _really_ angry. She told herself it was better to be angry than hurt.

Jax was playing Tara. It may have been ten years ago, but he could still read her. She wanted him to kiss her and she was mad that he'd ignored all her little hints. He also knew she wouldn't kiss him first because she would be afraid that he'd reject her.

Sometimes, he was actually capable of thinking ahead and he didn't want to kiss her for the first time in front of a bunch of strangers. He knew getting involved with her was a bad idea and that heartache would follow. He could take care of himself, but was he being fair to her?

The morally right thing to do would be to back her off, but he needed to be with her to watch over her and keep her safe. The right thing for him was a lot easier—spend the next twenty-four hours in bed with her and then another twenty-four hours in bed with her. He could try an adult style option where he tells her that they can't have a future but they could have now.

They decided to eat dinner in the hotel dining room when he got a phone call from Wendy. Jax left the table to take the call.

"You know something," Tara said reading Jax's facial expression when he returned to their table.

"We agreed . . ."

"You violated that by taking the call. Tell me what you found out."

"There were two bodies in the burned out cabin. A man and a woman."

Tara stared at him certain she hadn't heard him right.

"A man and a woman."

"That's it."

_Jax and Tara were both wondering the same thing –what the hell had gone on at the cabin with the bodies?_


	38. Chapter 38

3

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 38**

**DAY 6: Bad Time Baby**

"

Tara was dying to ask more questions about the bodies in the cabin. In that chaotic scene, could a body have simply been missed? Could one of the first team that attacked them been a woman? Was there some kind of plan or some kind of argument that ended in a man and a woman from the second team being killed? That meant the remaining member of the second team loaded three bodies in the car, set the fire and left in less than five minutes because only five maybe six minutes could have passed before she'd turned around and drove past the cabin.

Jax was annoying. He knew she wanted to hit him with a ton of questions. He looked at her with the faintest of smiles. Well, she had some self-control and she wasn't going to ask her questions until they were back in their room.

There was another mystery she could try to solve.

"You know that book I'm been reading about the guy who is in the MC?"

"I remember. You got a couple of the books yesterday despite me telling you that you wouldn't like those books."

"You were right. I don't know what I was thinking. The writing's horrible. The writer doesn't know a thing about how an outlaw biker MC works."

"It's really that bad, huh?"

"I can't understand how it ever got published. The protagonist seems like he's such a coward. I can't believe he has girls falling all over," Tara said.

She watched Jax's reactions and saw just the barest trace of annoyance.

"I remember when we took Mr. Hill for creative writing in high school. You used to write really good stories. You should get them out and get them published. You are a much better writer than the no talent writer of the books I got."

"You won't get any sympathy from me. I warned you," Jax said coolly.

"But I didn't know it would be so bad. The guy's love interest is such loser. I don't know why he gives her any of his time. Worse, she seems a lot like me."

Jax chuckled.

"Are you saying you're a loser?"

"My character in your book seems that way to me."

"I fell into your cunning trap," Jax said with a good natured smile. "You should know that I knew you would figure it out especially since a couple chapters were the same ones I did in high school only I polished them up."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"If you give someone something of yours to read, they will say nice things because most people don't have the balls to tell the truth or they don't have the skills to know the difference between good writing and bad. I thought you might give me your real opinion if you didn't know I'd written the books."

"If you want my real opinion, I'll give it to you. So far, I really like the book. When were you planning to tell me?"

"I knew you would figure it out. I wanted to see how you were going to ask me if I'd written the books."

"Who knows about the books?"

"You and the publishing staff, my agent, those sorts of people."

"What about Gemma and SAMCRO?"

"No, they don't know and I'm keeping it that way."

Jax's phone rang and once again he left the table to take the call where he could have some privacy.

"What's happening Wendy?"

"I've got a little bad news for you. I think I'm in labor. I'm hoping it's false contractions or they can give me something to stop the labor."

"Even if you had the baby now, he might have to stay in the hospital for awhile, but he'd be OK, right?"

"I'm hoping it doesn't come to that. I'm not worried about Abel. He'll come when he's ready. It's just if I have Abel now, you know you will have to work with Kohn."

"Have them sew you closed and tell Abel he needs to wait a couple of weeks."

"I'll suggest that to the doctor. I will keep you updated about Abel, but you are going to have to work with Kohn. I've been keeping him updated, so he's up to speed. I don't have any new information."

"OK, Wendy. Take care of yourself and Abel."

Jax wasn't happy. If Wendy made it to her due date, his assignment would be done. He didn't like the idea of having to depend on Kohn especially during the most dangerous phase. He didn't trust the guy. If Kohn got involved in the last stages, it was going to go wrong and that could get him or maybe even Tara killed.


	39. Chapter 39

3

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 39**

**DAY 6: Shove the Selfie**

"

When she and Jax had been together ten years ago, he had secrets most if not all of them were MC related. This older version of Jax had a lot more secrets. She hoped that she could stay alive long enough to pry the rest of his secrets out of him.

"Everything OK?" she asked when he returned to the table.

"Yeah, everything should be fine. Remember I told you I was going to be a father? She called and told me she thinks she's in labor six weeks early."

"It could be a false labor. That happens a lot. Now with all the advancements in taking care of preemies, six weeks isn't that early. Are you going to leave to be there for the birth?"

"No. She has a husband, her parents and his parents. I'm not going to be that involved. I also don't have any desire to see the birth. Remember that film we saw in high school with all the animals giving birth?"

"I remember. It turned you off sex for a whole seventy-two hours."

Jax laughed.

"Maybe not a whole seventy-two hours."

"It was a long time. I thought I was going to have to get a new boyfriend."

"What are you saying? You were just using me for sex?"

Tara grinned.

"I can't believe you've just figured that out now."

"I'm just a dumb blonde guy I guess."

"Are you excited about being a dad?"

"When I agreed to give up my swimmers, I didn't expect to have much of an emotional reaction. As the pregnancy went on, I started to get interested in what the baby was going to look like and if he would have some of my mannerisms."

"And you are never going to tell Gemma?"

"Gemma and Clay killed my father and Gemma raised me to be a criminal. There is no way she will ever know about my son or see him."

"It's just a little sad that you have to have a secret child."

"For now. Maybe that will change in the future."

They finished dinner and decided to take advantage of the night time activities the hotel had available. They put on jackets and took out a snow mobile on a well lit track.

Tara had her arms wrapped around Jax. She loved the feel of the wind on her face, but it wasn't as much fun as being on the back of his bike. The snow mobile was safer and there wasn't a gang of murderous psychos chasing them so she decided she preferred the snow mobile.

They finished with the snow mobile and were taking the long path back to their hotel room when a short, slight man approached them. Jax automatically got in front of Tara to block her with his body.

"Aren't you Jax Teller? Can I take a selfie with you?"

"No, I'm not Jax Teller."

"I think you are."

"Are you saying he's so stupid he doesn't know his name?" Tara demanded.

"Thanks," Jax said drily to Tara.

"I understand you don't want everyone to know you're here, but a selfie with you would be amazing. I won't tell anyone you're here."

"When are you leaving here?"

"Tomorrow. I'm going home then. I won't post the selfie until after I've left. I promise."

Jax kicked the man's feet out from under him in a move Tara had never seen before. Jax's fight skills were definitely upgraded. He reached into the man's pocket and pulled out his wallet. He flipped it open and found his driver's license.

"Jenny," Jax said referring to Tara. "Put this in your phone." Jax read the man's address. "Listen carefully. You are going to go away. If you try to take a picture with either of us, I'm posting this address online as Jax Teller's location. The STDs can pay you a little visit."

The man got to his feet.

"I just wanted a selfie," he whined.

"Shove the selfie. You want me to post your address?"

Jax handed the wallet back to the man who looked like a spoiled child who had his favorite taken away.

"No."

"Go away before I hurt you. If I were Jax Teller, I'd beat the hell out of you. Consider yourself lucky."

The man walked away still upset that he wasn't getting his selfie.

"Do you think he'll tell anyone?" Tara asked Jax.

"I don't know. I would really love to post that idiot's address online."

"You've picked up some new fight moves."

"From my time in prison," Jax said.

Tara was surprised. She thought she would know if Jax went to prison, but that was foolish. There wasn't anyone to tell her and she hadn't made any effort to check up on him over the years. It hurt less to just let everything go.

"I'm sorry."

"It's what you predicted."

"That doesn't mean I wanted it to happen to you."

The fun mood between them was gone. It felt a lot more like the aftermath from one of their fights back in the old days, Tara thought.


	40. Chapter 40

3

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 40**

**DAY 5: **_**Play Dead**_

"

Tara was silent as they walked back to their hotel room. She waited until the door was shut and locked.

"It seems like you blame me for your getting locked up."

"You always predicted it. I thought you would be happy to see that your prediction came true."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Tara said raising her voice. "Why would you think I would be happy to learn my prediction that you would end up in prison came true? I never wanted anything bad to happen to you. I was the one who was trying to get through to you to save you."

"Sometimes you can be smugly self-righteous."

"Whatever, Jax. You're being unfair."

Jax still had on his heavy jacket.

"I'm going for a walk to clear my head."

"I hope you come back in a better mood."

Jax turned and left without answering her. He knew that sort of fight was more his fault than hers, but that didn't make him any less annoyed.

He was having trouble figuring out what he was going to do about Tara. He wanted to do what was best for her. He owed her that, but Tara was an adult and he should give her the truth and let her decide what was best for her instead of making that decision for her.

He returned to their hotel room. Tara was sitting on the bed looking at something on her laptop.

"There's been a development," she told him.

"Good or bad?"

Tara frowned thinking about his question.

"I'm not sure. On the internet there's the story about the cabin fire. It said the cabin had a connection to SAMCRO. It mentioned that the bodies of a man and a woman were discovered but they were burned beyond recognition. They are going to have to use dental records to try to ID the people. Then the article mentions that you are a member of SAMCRO and it speculates that we might be the dead bodies."

"Can I see?"

Tara patted the place next to her on the bed. Jax sat down beside her on the bed and she handed him her laptop.

Jax read the article and then used his phone to send the pictures he'd taken last night of the three dead STDs to Tara's laptop.

"That must be the one that is a woman," Tara said pointing at one of the pictures.

With her shaggy ear length hair and soft features, she could have been a member of a boy band. It was easy to see why at first glance, they thought she was a guy.

"This is genius. The second batch of STDs come in and find the ones that I killed. They decide to leave a man and the woman's bodies and burn the cabin and bodies so they can't be easily identified. They were hoping that would be enough to get them paid."

"It keeps coming back to the STDs being a murder for hire group," Tara said.

"It explains why they took one of the bodies away."

"This is good news. The STDs think we're dead."

"It's only temporary," Jax said. "They'll use dental records and discover we aren't the dead bodies."

"By that time, the second team expects to get paid and they'll clear out before the IDs are made. What do you think will happen when the IDs get made and they find out we weren't killed? Do you think the STDs will come after us again?"

"If the hit is on one of us, I think they will have to keep coming or whoever wants one of us killed gets someone else to do the job."

"So," Tara said with a sigh, "this is just news. Not good news," Tara said frowning. "If this gets out, the MC and Gemma may think you're dead."

"We can play dead for another day or so and than I'll have to let them know I'm alive."

"Why not tell them? Aren't you worried that Gemma will lose it if she thinks you're dead?"

"I don't know that the hit wasn't from the MC or Gemma," Jax said.

Tara thought she was losing her mind. Jax actually thought that Gemma or the MC might want him dead. Things in Charming were crazier than she could have ever imagined.


	41. Chapter 41

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 41**

**DAY 6: **_**Is He Hot Like You?**_

"

Tara shut her laptop and put it away. Nothing made sense to her anymore. She returned to her place sitting propped up by pillows her back against the bed's headboard sitting next to Jax. They used to sit like this all the time when they lived together.

Jax's life in Charming must have really gone to hell if Clay and Gemma both wanted him dead. How could Gemma's feelings for Jax have changed so much?

"What the hell has been going on while I've been gone?"

"What do you think happened?" Jax asked with anger in his voice.

"I don't know. I do know that I haven't done anything to deserve your anger."

"Come on Tara, you're so smart. Figure it out."

"Look, Jax, either tell me or don't," Tara said exasperation in her voice. "I'm not playing a guessing game with you."

"Do you ever watch TV? Have you seen the commercials for genealogy? Turns out Gemma had a kid before me."

That was too much for Tara's mind. The thought circuits in her brain must have fried or her ears weren't working.

"Gemma had a kid before you?"

Jax nodded. "That's exactly what I said."

This was still too much for her mind to process. It went blank for several moments. Gemma had a secret kid and kept it hidden for all these years. Suddenly the clog in her brain cleared and she imagined a teenaged Gemma hiding a pregnancy, giving birth in her bedroom and dumping the baby in a trash can somewhere. It all made sense.

"Don't make me drag all the details out of you. Tell me everything."

"This is all according to Gemma so who knows how much of it is true. Gemma got pregnant and didn't figure it out right away. Her mother started noticing she didn't need to buy tampons. She made her take a pregnancy test. Gemma's the preacher's kid. She could not have a baby because she wasn't even supposed to have sex."

"I know Gemma always made comments about her mother. I knew she hated her, but I never knew why."

"This was probably the reason. Gemma can't have a baby and she can't have an abortion. Her mother shipped her off to her grandparents in Oklahoma so her mother could deal with Gemma."

"I can't see Gemma not rebelling and refusing to go."

"Gemma didn't want her father to know she was pregnant. She thought it would break his heart. That's why she went along with her mother's plans. Her mother promised to never tell her father.

"I guess Gemma's grandmother was even more stern and strict than her mother. The baby was born, put up for adoption and Gemma returned to Charming. That was that. It was never spoken of by anyone. Even Clay didn't know."

Tara hated Gemma, but what happened to Gemma was awful. What an unloving thing to do to a daughter! Maybe that explained why Gemma was always hugging and kissing Jax; she was trying to make up for the baby she gave up.

"Did she have a boy or a girl?"

"She never knew. That was her grandmother's doing."

"Her grandmother was punishing her by not letting her know if she had a boy or girl. That's really horrible."

"Gemma's grandmother knew someone who knew someone who was a midwife, so Gemma got the full natural childbirth experience. It wasn't her choice. She would have had full drugs, but no one cared what she wanted. She said she thought she was going to die."

"It's like a horror movie. I can just picture her grandmother forcing her to have natural childbirth as more punishment for having sex and getting pregnant."

Tara imagined Gemma screaming in pain and her grandmother taunting her by telling her this is what happens when girls have sex they get ripped open and have a baby.

"It does have a horror movie flavor," Jax agreed. "Her grandmother told Gemma that it would be better for her not to know the sex of the baby, but I'm with you. I think she did it to hurt her. About five years ago, this guy just shows up at TM and tells her that she's his mother."

"How did she react?"

Tara was beginning to get annoyed with Jax. She had to keep prying the details from him. Of course, she wanted to know how Gemma reacted and Clay and Jax too. The details couldn't come out fast enough.

"Shock. Disbelief. Denial. I was surprised and suspicious. Clay was surprised."

"Is he hot like you?" Tara blurted out without running the words through her brain for editing.

"What? You want to date him?"

"I'm leaving Charming in two weeks. Hardly enough time to bother with dating a new guy. So, is he hot like you?"

"No man is hot like Jax Teller," he said with a large dose of self-mockery.

"That is true," Tara said with a sigh. That was the problem. No man could measure up to Jax.

Ten years and he could still read Tara like a book. She wanted to sleep with him. She pretty much always wanted to sleep with him, but he was enjoying making her wait. Just a little while longer and he would take care of her.

"Well, tell me what is your brother like and is that why you think Gemma and Clay might want to kill you?"

Jax thought about giving Tara the summary version so they could get to sex faster.


	42. Chapter 42

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 42**

**DAY 6: **_**Jax's Brother Revealed**_

"

_**Author's Note: This is an AU the way I want to see an AU. That means using original SOA characters and scrambling them with different back stories and different storylines. These people live in this alternate world where they are in each other's lives but in different ways. **_

Jax looked at Tara and thought he would prefer to give her the summary version of his new found brother and they could move on to more pleasurable activities.

"You want the summary?"

"No, I want all the details. From the day he showed up including the identity of his father."

He always thought he was so damned smart and he should have seen this was a bad road to go down, but sooner or later, Tara was going to have to learn about his brother. It might destroy all chances of sex tonight. It was definitely poor planning on his part.

"I was in the office getting a cold drink when this guy walks in. He's a little shorter than me. He's got short dark hair and dark eyes. He asks for Gemma Teller and he says that she's his mother. Gemma's face drained of color."

There were some scenes you wanted to see so bad for all the wrong reasons. Tara knew she wasn't being a good person because she was enjoying hearing about this hell of Gemma's, but Gemma had treated her so badly Tara felt she deserved some fun at Gemma's expense.

"Come on Jax, what did she do?"

"She said he was mistaken that she wasn't his mother."

"I'm sure she was hoping it was some mistake she could talk her way out of."

"He showed her all this paperwork from his adoption. He had always known he was adopted, but he hadn't much interest in finding his parents."

"Where had he been all this time?"

"He was private security working all over the world, but mostly Iraq and Afghanistan."

"Ex-military?"

"No. I don't think he would have made it. There's just something about him."

"You said you were suspicious?"

"Sure. A guy shows up claiming Gemma's his mother. When he showed her the paperwork, she looked it over and admitted it. His adopted parents had both died over the years. He probably killed them."

_"Really?"_

There was a faint smile on Jax's face and Tara had no idea whether or not he was serious. She needed to learn more about his mysterious and possibly homicidal brother.

"He's a void. Clay liked him immediately. Gemma warmed up to him. I'd been distancing myself from her for awhile. She thought it was the stretch in prison, but it began before that. It started when I learned that she and Clay killed my father. This was a chance for her to have another son. She could try molding him into the son she wanted and not the son I'd become."

"My turn to guess. He joined the MC."

"Yeah. The guys were suspicious. Thought he might be a fed trying to infiltrate because he loves the MC so much," Jax said chuckling. "He'll agree with any idea. If Clay suggested killing Unser in the middle of Main Street during the high school's Homecoming Parade, he'd be on board."

"That's crazy."

"I know. Clay loves him though because he won't challenge him on anything. He's the perfect MC soldier. He's completely loyal to the MC. He drinks with the guys and hangs out with them, but he doesn't talk about much. He loves killing people, drinking and watching porn."

"Perfect MC guy," Tara agreed.

"Yeah. Gemma thinks that maybe he could lead the MC one day. She doesn't get that he isn't a leader."

"I thought that was your destiny."

"Yeah, it isn't, but that's for you to know and not tell."

Tara's heart beat a little faster. Jax's not wanting to lead the MC was good. Maybe he would walk away from them. She wanted to ask but she was afraid that he would tell her he would never leave the MC.

"Why do you think he killed his parents?"

"His father disappeared without a trace. Then one Christmas, his mother did too."

"No leads?"

"No."

"That doesn't look good. Maybe Gemma and Clay should worry. Could he be behind the STDs?"

"No. He doesn't have the organization or leadership skills. He could be on a kill team, but I don't see him doing that outside the MC. He's very loyal to SAMCRO."

"Could he want to kill you?"

"He is more of a tool. You want someone killed; he's your guy. He doesn't really have emotions."

"He's a psychopath."

"Yeah, I think so. Gemma thinks if she showers him with lots of love, he'll change. She doesn't get that he doesn't have that capacity."

"What's his name?"

"Happy is his MC nickname. He is covered with tattoos. In this ab area, he has happy faces tattooed. One for each kill. That's where he got his nickname."

"How many?"

"Around thirty."

Tara's eyes widened with surprise. She wasn't expecting such a large number. Jax's half-brother was scary.

"

_**Author's Note: I don't think the SOA app is available anymore, but back when SOA was on TV, I downloaded the app. I discovered Happy's journal and that's where the backstory for his parent came from. His father was his first kill and he killed his mother on Christmas some years later. I know on the show he was caring for his mother, but that doesn't mean that he couldn't get angry and kill her. Psychos are psychos because their emotional make-up is different.**_

**I wonder who his father could be? The next chapter will reveal that.**


	43. Chapter 43

6

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 43**

**DAY 6: **_**Least Likely Father**_

"

Tara was surprised that Jax's half-brother was a homicidal psycho with the nickname Happy. She wondered what made his brother a psycho. It was the nature versus nurture argument. If the guy killed his parents, maybe he'd had a bad childhood and not attached to his parents. His parents could have abused him causing his emotional disconnect.

On the other hand, Gemma was a pretty hateful person. She had this façade that she was warm and caring. She called people "sweetheart", but it was all an act. She was cold, cruel and ruthless. Maybe poor Happy just got a dose of Gemma's genes without the beneficial genetics supplied by JT.

Tara knew that Jax had killed, but she didn't think he took pleasure in it. He had this warm, sensitive, empathic side to him that made him so different from any other man that she'd dated.

"How do you feel about your brother?"

"I don't have any feelings. I don't hate him and I don't love him."

"Don't you love him like you love your other MC brothers?"

"Sure," Jax said with a self-mocking smile. "Opie felt like my brother. We grew up together. He practically lived at my house especially in the summers."

"It's hard to believe that he and Donna are both gone."

"Yeah, it still hurts. Happy doesn't form attachments."

"You said he loves the MC."

"He does, but his love doesn't go deep. He's loyal to the MC, but there's just something missing inside him."

"Sounds like he really is a psychopath."

"That's why I don't think it's hard to believe he killed his parents. He looks more like Gemma than I do. He's at least got dark hair—had dark hair—he got his head shaved and added some tattoos."

"What any tattoo loving man does when he runs out of room on his body. You have any new ink?"

"New to you, yeah."

Tara's eyes lit up and Jax knew that she was dying not to just see his new ink, she wanted to see his body. She needed a tour. A hands on tour.

"Is the father anyone I know?"

"It turned into an episode of afternoon TV with a parade of guys getting tested. Gemma tried to float the idea she'd been raped. This actually got some reaction from Happy. He was going to kill the guy."

"You're kidding?"

"No, he was serious."

"Wow! That guy is something else."

"Gemma didn't expect that reaction. She finally admitted she wasn't raped but she'd been with several guys during that time. Who is the most unlikely person you can think of?"

"JT?"

"Your father."

"My father had sex with your mother and we share a psycho half-brother?"

Tara covered her face with her hands in horror and disbelief. There were just some truths that should never be spoken. This was one of those. She would be perfectly OK if Jax lied to her on this if the answer was they shared a psycho homicidal half brother.

"No, we don't share a psycho half-brother," Jax said.

Tara realized that she'd been holding her breath waiting for his answer. She sucked in a lungful of air. That was good news.

"I'm so glad."

"For a few days until the results came in, it looked like that though. Your father was not a happy man."

"Happy man?"

"You have to make jokes when you can," Jax said with a wide grin. "He sized up Happy and knew that he didn't want to be his father."

"I'm not surprised that Gemma and my father hooked up. She's made a couple of comments here and there that he was so attractive. He never said anything to me about her. Did he say anything to you?"

"He said they were together a couple of times, but he didn't want to get tied down to one girl."

"That makes sense. He used to tell me that you and I were too young to be in such a serious relationship."

"I got that from Gemma too."

"That was more about getting you away from me."

"I know. Gemma's hating you wasn't personal. She would have hated any girl I saw for more than a couple of days. She wanted to be the great love of my life."

Tara didn't say anything because this was what she used to tell Jax during their fights and she had never been able to get him to believe her. She wondered when she had finally gotten through to him. She didn't bring it up. It might lead to a fight. For now, it was enough to know that he saw Gemma the way she saw her.

"Oswald got tested next and he wasn't the father. It was Unser."

Tara's mouth fell open. Unser. Oh, dear God, what could Gemma have been thinking? He looks hot. I've got to get my hands on him. I love guys that come up to my breasts and can use them for hats.

"How did that happen?"

"Well, when a man and a woman love each other very very much, they can make a baby."

"Thanks. I'm a doctor. I know the biology of getting knocked up."

"He wasn't a cop then, but she was underage. He worked at the school as a teacher's aide."

"Was he a little attractive then?"

Jax burst into laughter and Tara joined him. It was hard to imagine Unser as the subject of a high school girl's romantic dreams. Charm? Maybe he had charm.

"I don't think so."

"Did Gemma name the three possible fathers or was it one name and that one wasn't it and then another name?"

"One name at a time. I will never forget the look of joy on your father's face when he found out he wasn't the father. Elliot was pretty damned happy too."

"Another happy reference?"

"Unintentional."

"What did Unser do?"

"It was strange. He was embarrassed that he'd knocked up Gemma while she was just a young teen by taking advantage of his position. Now he's the police chief, so it was kept to the MC. It's been five years and he's still not recovered. He just doesn't get Happy."

"Another Happy joke?" Tara asked with a sigh.

He grinned.

"It's a dark family sitcom watching those two try to bond. Unser took him fishing trying to be fatherly. I asked Happy what his favorite part of fishing was and he said it was gutting the fish because he liked to feel them squirm and die in his hands."

"Yikes! I think if I were Unser, I'd be more worried about him killing me. Does he know about Happy's adopted parents?"

Jax nodded.

"He's said a little to me and I think he also thinks Happy offed his family."

"How did Clay take it?"

"He's a happy man."

Tara groaned.

"OK. Just needed one more happy reference. What do you think? SAMCRO owns Charming."

"Did he at least have hair when she banged him?"

Jax broke into laughter shaking his head.

"He started going bald in high school. When _he_ was in high school not when she was in high school."

"Was she drunk, high or passed out? There has to be some reason."

"With guys, it's she's female and I want to have sex."

"It's not that way with girls, but thanks for confirming one of my long held beliefs."

That was brilliant, Jax told himself. Tara would remember that later and she was going to hurt him for it. He didn't mean her, but it was too late to add that. She wouldn't think he was being sincere.

"What was there about him?"

"I'll tell you why she had sex with him."

"There is an actual good reason?"

"Uh-huh and it makes Gemma look bad. She admitted it to Clay and I overheard. He paid her and she needed the money. Her mother kept her on a tight leash. Gemma liked to wear skimpy clothes and her mother wouldn't let her buy them. She was the bad girl that sneaks out at night and changes clothes when she gets to school or a dance. Clay and I are the only ones that know the reason. Unser doesn't know that Gemma told Clay."

"I guess that lets him keep a little dignity," Tara said. She shut her eyes and shook her head. "Oh, my God, Gemma teen hooker. I'm sorry Jax, but that is just so funny."

"I get it. Happy doesn't know about the hooking. Gemma wasn't sure how he would react."

"At least that makes more sense than if she thought he was hot and she just had to be with him."

They started laughing again. Tara laughed so hard she fell against Jax.

"Why don't we get closer?"

The look in his eyes, that certain smile and Tara knew exactly what he wanted—it was what Jax always wanted—sex.

Tara thought about Gemma and Unser having sex and it just turned her off on such a deep level she wasn't sure if she wanted to ever have sex again.

She also remembered what he's just said about how when a guy wants sex, he'll take whatever girl's handy. He was going to have to pay for that comment.

Jax Teller was going to have to improve his seduction techniques if he had any hope of getting between her legs. A smile and asking if she wants to do it wasn't going to work like it did ten years ago.


	44. Chapter 44

3

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 44**

**DAY 6: **_**That Jax Teller Seduction**_

"

Tara shook her head with disappointment. Where were Jax's powers of seduction? Where were the fingers and touch that could make her hotter than a California wildfire and crazier than the California legislature?

Maybe over the past ten years he'd gotten lazy and didn't have to work to get girls. OK. With such a hot body, that bright white smile and those piercing blue eyes, he didn't have to work to get a girl into bed, but that didn't mean that he shouldn't.

She wasn't going to be easy. She hadn't been in high school and that hadn't changed. Just because she and Jax had sex in the past, that was the past and it didn't mean she was going to sleep with him now. Besides, the chase was sometimes the best part of a romance.

"I'm good," Tara said.

"What do you mean by that?" Jax demanded.

"I'm good where I am. I don't need to get closer."

Jax knew he was now paying for the too honest comment about if a guy wanted to have sex, he'd settle for any available girl. He could still pull this off. He was Jax Teller. She also knew what he could do in bed and that was ten years ago.

His skills had improved greatly since then. Maybe he should mention that in some tactful way. He _had_ wanted to surprise her with that.

"That isn't what I had in mind," Jax said with a smile.

"Really?" Tara frowned, her eyebrows furrowed in thought. "What did you have in mind?"

"There's no reason we can't enjoy our time together."

"Well, OK," Tara said slowly, appearing to think. "I'm enjoying it sometimes."

"I was thinking about doing something with a greater enjoyment value."

"I don't have any cards. Maybe we could find a computer game."

"I could show you the ink I've gotten since you saw me last. I'll even let you touch the tattoos."

Tara smiled.

"You would really let me touch the tattoos?"

"Anything for you."

"Jax, I'm not some crow-eater desperate for your attention," her voice hardened. "I'm going to take a shower and go to bed sleeping on my half of the bed. Your seduction game really needs improving, darlin'."

Jax wasn't ready to give up. This was Tara. He knew her and it wasn't that hard to sweep her off her feet. He had forgotten to factor in that they weren't living together and they hadn't seen each other in ten years.

"I could really use some comfort after telling you about my psycho half brother."

"Give yourself a hand, babe. Comfort yourself all you want," Tara said laughing as she grabbed her pajamas and shut the bathroom door.

Jax stared at the door frowning. Unless he was mistaken, Tara had just told him he could go fuck himself. Tara was just busting his balls over his tactless comment about men sleeping with a convenient woman.

He had one last play for the night. The open door shower. He stretched out on the bed and waited for Tara to finish with the bathroom. He closed his eyes for a few seconds and woke to a dark bedroom, a sleeping Tara and no one but him to enjoy his shower show. Son of a bitch.

_**Soon Jax will say the five words Tara never expected to hear from him.**_


	45. Chapter 45

5

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 45**

**DAY 7: **_**Better Left Unsaid**_

"

They had planned to stay another night at the hotel, but after the guy thought he recognized him, Jax didn't want to take the risk so they were off again.

"Why didn't you wake me up last night?"

"It was bed time and you were asleep. I figured you were exhausted from all the comforting you gave yourself, so why would I wake you up?"

"Very funny. This version of you is a little meaner."

"More honest. I'm saying the things I used to only think," she said. She almost added she didn't need to filter her comments since they didn't have a future.

"You missed the tattoo tour."

"Oh, damn," Tara said dismayed.

"I could be persuaded to take you on the tour tonight."

Jax had plans that Tara wouldn't just touch his new to her ink with her fingertips. He was thinking she would give them a taste with the tip of her delicious tongue.

"Was the tour going to be before or after the shower show?"

"If you're referring to the fact that I leave the door open when I take a shower, it's a steam thing and not a show thing. Me and a hot shower just generate too much steam for a bathroom to handle."

"That would definitely be more heat than any bathroom is built for," Tara agreed. "You should probably carry a fire extinguisher around with you. I've heard of spontaneous human combustion, but you're the first guy hot enough to actually make that happen."

"Very funny," Jax said sourly. "Remember who saved your ass three or is it four times?"

"Where are we going now?" Tara asked changing the subject.

"Solvang. It's a Danish sort of tourist town. We can get lost in the crowds of tourists. It's a couple of hours north of Santa Barbara and a few hours south of Charming."

"Are we ever going back to Charming?"

"We can't really go back until the town thinks it's safe or the STDs are caught."

"All the STDs don't have to be caught," Tara said. "We just need one and people will figure everyone else is dead."

"The STDs have been operating for months. I don't think the mystery is going to be solved quickly."

"You told me about your psycho half-brother, but you didn't tell me why you think Gemma or Clay wants you dead. Gemma can't want you dead just because she found her long lost son."

"Things with Gemma have gotten worse over time. Gemma is controlling and she's at the point with me that she has no control."

"There's got to be more to it. What's going on?"

"Gemma and Clay are worried that I will dishonor my Sons legacy. In about a week and a half, there's a big Sons event. All the charters even the foreign ones are coming to the old fairgrounds outside Charming for a one of a kind Sons meeting. I've been causing a little mayhem by saying that maybe we should think of taking Sons non outlaw."

If Tara had been sipping her iced tea in the car instead of sucking it down with a straw, she would have spit her drink all over the car. She was that stunned by his words.

"Are you serious?"

"I am."

"I get it now. You want the MC to be like the 99% of MCs and give up the 1% label. That's what makes the MC cool. No wonder they are after you."

"That's why the need to do it in secret. You can't kill another member. Clay wants me dead and Gemma does too. I'm a traitor. They are worried I will destroy the club."

"What about the other guys?"

"They aren't worried. I might embarrass them and the chapter a little, but they can always kick me out after the big meeting if my behavior is too bad."

"Most of them will be too drunk or high to know or remember," Tara said. "It's strange seeing you without your cut. Does it feel strange not wearing it?"

"Without my cut I feel only half-dressed, but with the STDs looking for me, the cut just attracts too much attention."

"What are your plans about your books? Are you writing another one? I guess the guys don't know."

"Of course they don't. I'm doing another triology. It's going to be made into a TV series. There's going to be an auction to see where it's going to land. That's not for a couple of weeks."

"That's exciting."

"Exciting is bullets or weapons coming at you. Everything else is just things happening."

Jax found a nice restaurant with a beautiful view of the ocean and cliffs for them to have a long leisurely lunch. Tara was slowing decompressing from the terror of running from the STDs a second time. Here in this beautiful restaurant with its Spanish mission décor, she could almost believe she was safe.

When she was with Jax, she was safe. He could keep her safe, but it also drew danger. He was right about exciting though. Exciting was fighting or running for your life; everything else was just living.

Tara had spent a lot of the time on the drive thinking. Jax was different and it wasn't just ten years different. There was this fundamental change that had happened to him.

Jax had reserved a room in one of nicest hotels in Solvang. It had a fireplace and it included bottle of champagne with the room. All you had to do was call. She and Jax had never had champagne together. She didn't know if it would make one, both or none of them angry.

They had walked through the town and eaten sausage sandwiches for dinner at a little deli. Solvang was a big sausage, split pea soup and Danish pastries kind of town.

Tara continued to watch and think about Jax. She thought about the way he'd taken charge at the market and everything else.

When they returned to their room, the bottle of champagne was there in its little ice bucket with two glasses.

"You want a glass now?"

"Let's wait a bit," she said. "I know it's been ten years since I've seen you, but you seem different. I mean fundamentally different. Did something happen in prison?"

Jax looked amused.

"You think I got raped in prison?"

"No. I think maybe you might have started to see life differently."

Jax turned, bent down and lit the gas fireplace. Tara was sitting on the bed, carefully watching him. He finished lighting the fire before turning to face her.

"What you think my time in prison made me soft? Made me question the MC?"

"You had a lot of time to think."

Jax gave her a contemptuous smirk.

"You think I'm a rat," his voice had a soft dangerous edge that chilled Tara to the bone. "You think I'm so weak I'd turn on the club?"

Tara wished she had never started this conversation with Jax. It was going wrong in an exciting way though. She was afraid of him. Fear was a rush.

_**The five words are coming soon!**_


	46. Chapter 46

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 46**

**DAY 7: **_**The Five Words Tara Never **_

_**Thought She'd Hear From Jax**_

"

_**Author's Note: Told you the chapter was soon!**_

"

Ten years had made Jax more dangerous and that was intensely sexy to Tara. He had never put his hands on her in other than a romantic way. She'd shoved him a couple of times near the end of their relationship, but he didn't retaliate. She wasn't sure why she felt fear, but she _had_ seen him kill.

Suddenly the reason Jax could be dangerous hit her; if she became a danger to whatever endgame he was working on, that could give him a reason to do something she always wanted to believe he would think was unthinkable. And they didn't have a future together. He kept telling her that. Yikes!

Stupid Tara, she scolded herself. This was her high school thinking. Being dramatic and wanting to see drama and danger where there was none. Besides, she had a murderous group of psychos, contract assassins or a mix of both trying to kill her and Jax. Jax wasn't a danger to her. At the most he could eviscerate her with words. They still had the power to crush her.

Jax fixed her with a withering look. His phone buzzed and Tara heaved a sigh of relief. Saved by the buzz.

He went to the dresser where he'd put a couple of his phones. He looked at the text message. He typed a reply and waited for another message. This went on for several minutes.

"That was Wendy. No baby. False alarm. Everything with the baby is good though. Abel is a strong healthy little guy."

"You seem to really be looking forward to him."

"I get the best parts of being a father and none of the bad."

Tara was still marveling at and relishing the news that Jax was never going to tell Gemma she had a grandson. It was delicious knowing about Gemma's future secret grandson.

"Where were we?" Jax asked in a voice that made her hair stand on end. "You were accusing me of ratting and turning on my MC. You know that could get me killed."

"I wasn't accusing you of anything. I just said you were different and I don't believe that it's the ten years. You are jumping to conclusions. That isn't like you."

"Could be the new me," his tone of voice hadn't changed. It was still full of menace.

Jax's burner phone rang using Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" as its ringtone. Back when they were together his ringtone used to be Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't Fear the Reaper". She wondered if the progression in ringtones could be a bad sign.

Tara looked at the door and thought about running from the hotel room, but Jax was talking in front of her and her curiosity was stronger than her fear.

"Rosen's dummy corp got unraveled and the info about the club owning the cabin is coming out?"

Tara couldn't hear Clay's side.

"Why the fuck would I be surprised?" Jax said angrily, "I told you after that idiot's incompetence got me locked up to quit using him, but you couldn't listen to me. You knew more."

He listened for several seconds.

"Clay, don't expect me to feel bad that Gemma thought I might have been one of the bodies. She knows I can't die without her permission. I'll check in tomorrow."

Jax's relationship with Gemma was definitely different. All the pieces of information kept adding up to that. It wasn't surprising considering Gemma and Clay killed JT. She enjoyed hearing it though. Gemma had made her life a living hell.

"That should be the last of the interruptions. So, you think I'm a rat. You think I would turn on my MC. You want to get me killed."

"I'm not going to do anything to hurt you. You've been keeping me alive."

Jax nodded his head with a faint smile on his face.

"That is an excellent point."

Tara felt the tension leave her body. Whatever weirdness Jax was going through appeared to be gone for the moment anyway.

"We should watch TV. Let's find some nice comedy."

"I've got a better idea."

Great, Tara thought, Jax was going to try for sex again. Maybe he'd given some thought to seduction techniques. It might be fun to let him try. Not succeed but try.

"Really?"

"Yeah. You were right about everything."

"What?"

"You were right about everything."

Tara blinked and shook her head unable to understand what he was saying.

"I'm right about everything what?"

"Gemma and the MC. You were trying to open my eyes and I fought you every step of the way. You were right about everything."

Tara was glad she was sitting on the bed or she would have fallen off.

"

_**Thanks for all the wonderful comments. Glad so many love this story. It is so much fun to write it! And Jax hasn't lost his mind. MV**_


	47. Chapter 47

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 47**

**DAY 7: Tricked Again**

"

Tara believed ten years ago that if she could just open Jax's eyes and he saw Gemma and SAMCRO realistically, they could save their relationship and she could save him from a life of violence, crime and prison.

"Is that it? No more explanation."

"You really want to hear it?" Jax asked raising an eyebrow.

"Are you kidding me?" Tara said with a smile. "I never thought I'd hear those words come out of your mouth. What made you see the light?"

Jax came and sat down on the bed facing her.

"You, my father's manuscript and what happened to Donna and Opie."

Tara got up from the bed, opened the champagne bottle and poured them each a glass.

"Celebrating?" Jax asked drily.

"I feel like I've rescued someone from a cult."

"What are we toasting to?"

"It would be bad to toast me being right. How about we toast to escaping death from the STDs again?"

"And to continuing to escape them in the future," Jax added touching his glass to hers and they each took a sip of the champagne.

Tara had repeatedly tried to get Jax to see Gemma as the controlling, domineering, overbearing bitch from hell that she saw. Gemma had waged a nonstop war on her from the moment Jax introduced them. She just could not share Jax's heart with anyone.

"How did you back away from Gemma once you knew about what she and Clay had done? Does she know that you know?"

"No, she doesn't know I know, but I have made a few comments."

"There's no statue of limitations on murder," Tara said thoughtfully. "If they suspect that you know and might go to the police, that gives them a powerful motive to kill you."

"Outlaw bikers don't go to the police," Jax reminded her.

Tara finished her champagne and refilled both their glasses with the last of the champagne.

"They bring things to the table and killing one of the founder's of SAMCRO could get Clay his own death sentence."

"I'd never do that."

"You would kill him yourself," Tara said. She looked at Jax and she couldn't figure it out. "Why haven't you killed him?"

"Maybe I'm not as bloodthirsty as you think."

"It may be ten years, but some things don't change. They killed your father."

"Isn't there a saying that revenge is a dish best served cold?"

"Since when has that been your motto?"

It hit Tara then. Maybe Jax had been waiting for the right moment and was gathering proof to have an even better revenge on his mother and Clay.

"I've grown up. I'm less impulsive."

"Or you could be gathering proof not to just take it to the table but to take it to a meeting of all the charters. You present the information about Clay and Gemma. What happens then? Clay gets killed for what he did and Gemma might just disappear. It would be a stunning moment for Clay and Gemma."

"You think I would do that?"

"Over the years you could be waiting and trying to figure out the most satisfying revenge."

"Or I could be too much of a pussy to do anything about it."

"No. That's not you."

"That's not what you said during one of our many explosive arguments."

"I may have poorly chosen my words sometimes. My intentions were always good. I wanted to wake you up and open your eyes."

"The problem was I wasn't ready to wake up and open my eyes. I hit the snooze button for a few years."

"I'm just glad you woke up."

Jax stood up, got his sleeping sweats and headed for the bathroom.

"I'm tired. I signed us up for the winery tour when I checked in. Nothing safer than being in the middle of a busload of tourists. There's a gourmet dinner at one of the wineries that's included."

"That sounds like fun."

"Might as well have some fun on the run."

Jax left the bathroom door open so the heat in the bathroom wouldn't build up too much with hot water and the even hotter Jax Teller. Unfortunately the mirrors weren't positioned so she could see Jax in the shower, so Tara didn't get a Jax shower show.

She settled back on some pillows to watch TV while she waited her turn to take a shower. That's when it hit her. Jax had done it again. He diverted her attention by mentioning their fights and then the winery tour and he hadn't told her whether or not he was planning to expose Clay and Gemma at the all charters meeting.

She should go in there right now while he's naked in the shower and confront him. That would teach him a lesson.

"

_**Author's Note: I know that I haven't written much about Jax and his feelings for Tara. I want that to come out as she finds out. He's also trying to sort his feelings out for her. Everything gets worked through.**_


	48. Chapter 48

4

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 48**

**DAY 8: Future Focus**

"

Tara didn't have the nerve to confront Jax in the shower about him changing the subject, but she was going to remember to ask him about it. He was not getting off that easy. She wasn't going to let him get the best of her.

As soon as he got out of the shower, he grabbed his laptop from its bag and began working.

"What are you working on?"

"I need to finish a chapter."

He thought he had distracted her and she wouldn't remember. She went to take her shower. She'd let him think he had successfully distracted her.

When she got out of the shower, he was asleep again, but she wasn't buying it. Last night, he was really asleep. Tonight, he was pretending. She could tell because he wasn't breathing like he was asleep. Maybe she could turn this into an opportunity to turn the tables on Jax and have some fun at his expense.

She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and frowned. She smoothed the T-shirt over her breasts slowly, watching herself in the mirror and using it to keep an eye on Jax. His body didn't have the relaxed posture of sleep and she was sure she could see his eyes open just a crack.

"Damn. A stain," she muttered under her breath. She pulled the fabric tight against her breast and looked at the stain, stroking it with her fingers.

She walked over to her suitcase, pretended to trip and caught herself using the back of a desk chair. His lips twitched as he tried not to laugh. She begin to lift the T-shirt dress over her head slowly. There was a surprise underneath it for Jax. His eyes were definitely open more. She took it off to reveal a black sports bra. When they were together, she didn't sleep in a bra.

She whipped around and caught him with his eyes open.

"I knew you were faking sleep," she accused.

She put her stain free T-shirt back on.

"When did you start wearing a bra under your T-shirt nightgown?" he demanded.

"College in the dorms. I lived in a co-ed dorm."

"I liked the way you slept when we were together and you didn't wear a bra."

Tara rolled her eyes.

"I don't know what it is about men and breasts."

"It's a reflex built into man from caveman time."

"Are you planning on confronting Clay at the all charters meeting?"

Jax's face relaxed into a smile.

"Yeah. I have worked hard to get to this point. What I was told about my father's death turned out not to be true. There was nothing wrong with his bike. I knew that a semi hit him. What I didn't know was the truck had been reported stolen from Unser Trucking the day before JT got hit. The plate number for the truck was incorrect. It didn't match the report from the officers on scene. More examples of the information Unser lost or falsified."

"Does Clay know how to drive a truck?"

"He used to be a truck driver."

"Do you have enough proof against Clay for the MC?"

Jax nodded.

"I do. Gemma's involvement is harder to prove, but I don't need to do that. I'm going after Clay. I think she was more into the planning and helping force Unser to provide the truck and fix the police report end of things."

"If you do this, how is this going to go down with your psycho brother Happy?"

"_Half_-brother," Jax corrected. "I can handle him. If he wants to kill me, he'll do it face to face. A shot in the dark isn't his style. It doesn't satisfy his love of killing."

"You told me that your suggesting that the MC not be outlaw anymore was the reason they might want you killed. I think it's more likely that they're afraid you are going to do what you are going to do and expose Clay during the all chapters meeting."

"I've done a good job keeping it quiet."

"I figured it out."

"That's true, but you know about my father's journal and that it said he thought they would kill him to stop him from bringing Clay's affair with Gemma to the table."

"You're right."

"The information I gave you puts you in danger."

She nodded.

"I won't tell and I have no one to tell."

"Lonely life, Tara?"

"Alone but not lonely. I'm looking forward to my new job in Dallas," Tara said with forced cheerfulness. She yawned. "I'm tired. I really need to get to sleep."

This abrupt end to their conversation when it got to the subject of Tara's life wasn't lost on Jax. If she didn't have anyone in her life, he wondered why she hadn't found love. Was she still in love with him?


	49. Chapter 49

3

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 49**

**DAY 8: Car News**

"

Jax looked at Tara who was now taking her turn pretending to be asleep to avoid questions. He shrugged it off and began working on his laptop. He had work he could always do.

He'd grown up a lot in the last ten years. Gone was the impulsive and reckless teen. In his place was a man who considered his actions, thought through the consequences and had developed the patience to wait for an outcome.

He had been planning the all charters meeting for more than two years. If he could just hold everything together, Clay was going to go down. He couldn't imagine how Gemma would handle the shame of having Clay exposed and then facing questions about her own involvement in JT's death. It was going to feel good to watch her go through hell knowing that he'd brought it down on her. It was the ultimate betrayal of a mother by a son.

Killing Clay would have been momentarily satisfying, but what he was going to do would have a harder bigger impact than taking Clay out. He was going to destroy him and take everything that he loved away. That was the way to get revenge. He'd gotten a lot of pleasure planning every step, something he would never have been able to do in his teen years. He had to have immediate gratification back then. That had been especially true with girls. It was still true today. He hadn't grown up completely.

He had just received an email message. The STDs task force had towed the vehicle he'd taken when they were attacked at the cabin. It wasn't stolen. They had used a personal car that came back to a career criminal with a variety of convictions including one for manslaughter.

The fingerprints were still being processed, but they did find prints that matched the owner. The dental records and a DNA sample had been provided to the coroner to see if it matched one of the bodies found in the cabin.

Tara opened her eyes unable to sleep.

"What are you so excited about?" she asked.

"I don't think the STDs were behind the attack at the cabin."

He had Tara's full attention. She sat up and stared at him.

"You think it was someone who knows you."

"I think based on what I've learned, that makes the most sense. Remember when I took the car? They weren't counting on failing or if they did fail the second team would have killed us, cleaned up, taken the car and dumped it somewhere probably setting it on fire. The idiots used their own car."

"I don't think that rules out the STDs. Maybe not all of them have terminal illnesses."

"The guy is from Charming."

"It doesn't rule out the STDs."

"It's time to set a trap. I can tell Clay and Gemma where we are going to be and see if they take the bait and send in teams to kill me. If it's them, they are going to want me gone before the Sons all charter meeting."

"That sounds dangerous."

"It won't be. I'll get law enforcement help to set the trap because we need to take them alive and get them to talk."

"How can you get law enforcement to help?"

"I left and law enforcement just happened to be around. If they can take both teams alive, that will give them six chances to break someone. If they think they might get the STDs, they'll help me."

"I might get to pack up my father's house after all," Tara said hiding the disappointment in her voice.

She should have been happy, but she wasn't. She was enjoying her adventure with Jax. It was crazy but that was how she felt. They were even going on a winery tour and having dinner. That was going to be so much fun.

"That is the priority," Jax said sarcastically.

Tara just shook her head. He could be such a jerk at times. In moments like these, it made it easy to believe that they had no future together.


	50. Chapter 50

3

**Twenty-One Days**

**CHAPTER 50**

**DAY 8: Prelude to a Winery**

"

Tara didn't know what time Jax went to sleep. She'd gone to sleep early that morning about 4 am and Jax was still up working on his computer. She'd been up a couple of hours reading the book Jax wrote while she waited for him to wake up. It was strange because she felt like she was getting inside his head and seeing more deeply into him.

She'd begun with the first in the series that began the day Charlie Holmes' father was murdered when he was ten. He had a direct style of writing without long descriptive passages. Even if she hadn't known Jax, she would have been riveted by the story of this young boy growing into man in the shadow of the MC that his father had helped found while dealing with his domineering, overbearing mother and her ruthless new husband.

"How long have you been up?" Jax asked as soon as he opened his eyes.

"A couple of hours. I'm almost done with the first book. It's really good."

"You shouldn't waste your time reading my stuff," he said sourly. "You ought to be reading a nice romance novel. Isn't that what women like to read?"

"If you're in a bad mood, just don't talk. Don't take it out on me."

She picked up the book and continued to read.

"We need to leave as soon as I get dressed. It's only two hours until the tour begins and we need to back here for that."

"I'm ready," she said without looking up.

In less than ten minutes they were out the door. They walked around Solvang for awhile stopping for lunch at another sausage restaurant. It was mostly a silent and strained lunch.

Tara thought back to the conversation they had had that morning. Everything had been fine until she mentioned his book. It was clear that he didn't want her to read his novels. Of course, that only made her more determined to read them. Maybe there were some things in them he didn't want her to read.

They changed into clothes that were a little dressier than jeans for the tour. Jax was dressed in black from head to toe. She'd never seen this look on him before and it reminded her of all the TV shows where people dressed in black and did spy or other covert things.

She was wore black pants with a black and red floral print top. She'd done her long brownish red hair in a messy French twist. She added crystal earrings that caught the light when she moved her head. She even did a little more make-up than usual and wore reddish brown lipstick that complimented her hair color.

"I've never seen you dressed up like that before," she said. She was halfway hoping he would compliment her appearance.

"Since we're here together and we're taking this tour, we need to pretend to be a couple."

"How much of that is pretend?" Tara asked. "Aren't you still in love with me?"

"No, Tara," Jax said, his voice icy. "I'm not still in love with you."

"That was a joke," she said defensively. "I'm not in love with you either."

"After ten years what the hell do you expect? What kind of loser is still in love with someone after ten years?"

"The kind of loser that I'm not either. In fact, I may be back to hating you."

"You're welcome for all the saving of your life I did."

"You're the one who is mean and nasty."

"If you don't like it, you can leave. You're good at leaving."

"You're good at not listening."

"This is so much fun, why don't we stay here and just fight for the rest of the night?"

"Fight with yourself or go fuck yourself. I don't give a damn what you do tonight. I'm going on the wine tour and having dinner. I'm going to enjoy myself."

"I'm going to enjoy myself too," he said grimly, "even if it's with you."

Tara was going to make Jax pay for his behavior. She wasn't sure how, but she was going to hurt him for being so mean.


	51. Chapter 51

2

**21 Days**

**CHAPTER 51**

**DAY 8: Snack of a Chapter**

"

Tara decided to have fun at Jax's expense. It would teach him a lesson and she had nothing to lose since there could never be future for them. He was always reminding her of that. It suddenly occurred to her that maybe Jax kept saying they didn't have a future because he was really reminding himself.

It didn't matter. She didn't want to get back with him. His life was going to get a whole lot more dangerous when he exposed Clay as the murderer of his father at the SOA all charters meeting. Maybe Gemma would really try to kill him. She still had a son left if she got rid of Jax. She could groom Jax's psycho half-brother Happy to take his place at the head of the SOA table. He could just kill his brothers until he had enough votes to be president.

His comment about how he was going to enjoy himself even if that had to be with her really got under her skin. This older version of Jax wasn't an improvement over the more carefree, fun-loving Jax that she used to know.

"Let's go," he said.

Just as they got to the lobby, a bright blue shuttle bus pulled up outside.

"This is going to be fun kind of like a field trip."

Jax caught a gleam in Tara's eyes that he didn't like. In the past, that usually meant there was going to be trouble.

"Behave yourself."

"Or what?" she challenged him.

"You don't even want to know."

"I'm not scared," she said looking at him with narrowed eyes.

"You'll regret this," he warned.

"Bring it."

Tara took the window seat, bouncing up and down on the seat with excitement. Jax took the seat beside her reluctantly.

"I'm so excited."

"Behave," he cautioned. "Final warning."

"Bring it. Final acceptance of warning."

Jax shook his head. He had a feeling it was going to be a long afternoon and evening.


	52. Chapter 52

3

**Twenty-One **

**CHAPTER 52**

**DAY 8: **_**Safe Activity**_

"

Tara looked at the rolling lush countryside. California was a beautiful but crazy place to live. The small shuttle bus had about thirty people on it. Everyone seemed to be paired up either in romantic couples or traveling companions.

"I should have my head examined for signing us up for this," Jax said. "I don't know what the hell I was thinking."

"You were thinking there's not much to do in Solvang. It's pretty. It's quaint, but there's not much to do or see."

"And it's a safe activity."

"Are you trying to be safe from me or from the STDs?"

"Tara, I'm not afraid of you in any way," Jax said fixing her with a blue-eyed stare. "I'm not afraid of the STDs, not as long as I have a gun."

"Are you carrying?"

"You really have to ask?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Dumb question. Forgive me," she said dramatically putting her hand over her heart.

"I'll just add it to the list."

"What list?" she demanded.

"Aren't you keeping a list of all the wrongs I've done you and everything you've had to forgive me for?"

"No, why would I do that? Only losers carry grudges for ten years."

"Yeah, OK, Tara," Jax said.

Tara leaned back in her seat and focused on the scenery. She decided to be quiet and see how Jax liked that. After a few minutes, she realized that he liked the quiet just fine.

He had been through a lot over the last ten years with the MC, discovering Gemma and Clay killed his father and realizing that she'd been right about everything she used to tell him about the MC. It didn't excuse his conduct, but maybe she could be more tolerant.

She remembered how he said he was going to have a good time even if it had to be with her. No, she was tired of making excuses for him. He deserved payback.

Tara remembered all the things Jax used to hate in a girl. She could use that. It didn't matter what anyone thought of her. She would never see these people ever again, so she didn't have to be quiet, make a good impression, be the good girl Tara today. In fact, she wasn't going to be Tara at all.

The tour leader, a short thin man in black slacks, a white button down shirt with a white name badge embellished with grapes introduced himself and told the group to follow him.

Tara scanned the group to figure out who would make the best wine tasting companions. She found exactly what she was looking for in two woman. They looked like they were in their seventies, both gray haired and, she was guessing, widows or divorcees.

She subtly slowed and quickened her pace until she and Jax ended up at the same table as the two women. Tara smiled at the two women.

"I am just so happy, I can't keep it a secret any longer," Tara said loudly. Jax didn't like loud girls. "He asked me to marry him last night. We're getting married. I'm _so_ excited."

Jax had taken a big sip from the glass of water that was in front of each taster to help cleanse the palate between wines. He choked. Tara helpfully slapped him on the back, a huge smile on her face.

She was just beginning to torment Jax. Fun times ahead for her. Not so much for Jax.


	53. Chapter 53

7

**Twenty-One **

**CHAPTER 53**

**DAY 8: **_**Wine, Women, Regret**_

"

Tara bit her lip hard to keep from laughing at Jax's reaction to her announcement that they were newly engaged.

"I only proposed because you said you were pregnant," Jax said after he had finished choking.

"You know I'm not pregnant. Remember when we got the pregnancy test? You were drunk and you didn't understand the ones that had pluses and minuses. You said the plus made sense because it meant you were plus a person—the baby, but the minus sign made no sense to you because you weren't minus a person. You said not being pregnant didn't make you less of a person."

"Do you have a point?" Jax asked, annoyance in his voice.

"It's a story, not a point, baby. We got the pregnancy test that said pregnant or not pregnant depending on the results. The test said not pregnant, but poor sweetie pie is dyslexic. I told you I wasn't pregnant."

"I may be rethinking the _alleged_ proposal."

"Nothing alleged about it baby. We're getting married. You know you love me."

The two women were watching Jax and Tara like they were the best entertainment they'd seen in a long time.

"My name's Violet," one of the women introduced herself.

She was wearing a white shirt dotted with sprigs of violets. Tara wasn't sure if Violet was her name or a nickname, but if she wanted to be called Violet, that was fine by Tara.

"My name's Doris."

Doris was a stout seventy-something with a mix of blonde and gray hair.

"His name is Macon Butzlaff," Tara said brightly. "That's what happens when a fourteen year girl gets knocked up, squirts out the kid and names him without thinking about how the name sounds all together."

The women laughed and Jax gave her a dirty look.

"Her name is Ima Tite like the porn star," Jax said with a smirk.

Tara smiled. He thought he was so damned clever, but he shouldn't have tried to fight back. This was where it was going to get ugly. Very ugly.

"He used to be a porn star so he should know. His porn name couldn't really be Macon Butzlaff. It's Prince of Charming. He did a bunch of fake Disney princess kinds of porn."

The two women were already fascinated by this strange couple, but at the mention of fake Disney porn they were riveted to everything about this odd couple.

Tara suspected they would be looking up Prince of Charming and trying to find Jax's porn films. They were going to be so disappointed when they couldn't find anything.

The wine tasting began and Jax was spared further embarrassment for the moment. A winery employee explained each wine they tasted and told them what to look for as far as flavor.

Tara, Doris and Violet joked about the wines and how seriously people were taking the tasting. Jax was mostly silent. He didn't look like he was having a great time.

They returned to the shuttle for the drive to the next winery.

"Maybe if you pretended you were having a good time, you would eventually feel like you were having a good time."

"Well, Ima, I'm not having a good time. Maybe if you would behave a little better, I'd have a better time."

"I'm having a great time, Macon."

Jax shook his head and tried not to laugh when he thought of the name she'd given him Macon Buttzlaff. He had no idea where she'd gotten that name, but it was pretty funny. He would have to remember that for a future character.

He might have been in the MC too long. He wasn't used to defiant girls. Crow-eaters did what you said or you kicked their asses out of the clubhouse. Since Tara, no girl had ever challenged him. Girls told him what he wanted to hear and let him do what he wanted to do with them. Tara had always challenged him. Sometimes he'd hated it, but since she'd been gone, he'd missed it. Not now though. Now, he wished she'd lose the attitude, just do what he told her and behave.

"If you don't behave, do you know what I'm going to do to you?"

"Ummm . . . Look at me disapprovingly?"

"I'll zip tie you to the bathtub facet and you can spend the night in the bath tub."

Tara looked at him and wondered if there were even a remote possibility that he could be serious. She was pretty sure that he was bluffing.

At the next winery, Tara and the women headed for each other. They had become friends. Jax let them get comfortable at the table before joining them reluctantly.

Tara gave him a big smile.

"Thought you might have gotten lost."

"I couldn't be that lucky."

Tara rolled his eyes.

"You should be happy. I agreed to marry you despite your physical problems."

Jax gave her a stony look.

"It's part of the reason he had to leave the porn industry," Tara confided. "He did a Cinderella fake Disney porn movie with the porn star Ima Tite. She gave him a stack of STDs. Took him almost a year before he got them all cleared up. It was this endless nightmare of crustiness and oozing and antibiotics. That's how I met him. He came into the pharmacy I worked out for his meds."

Doris and Violet looked at Jax and Violet, who was sitting next to Jax, moved her chair away a few inches.

"Ima has a warped sense of humor," Jax said.

"True, but I'm telling the truth about you baby. It wasn't his fault. She lied about being clean and he thought they screened for all STDs. No shame in that," Tara said sweetly.

Jax decided the best strategy was to let the subject die. His denials wouldn't be believed and he didn't really care what these two women thought of him. Tara, on the other hand, deserved punishment.

The wine tasting began and Tara and the two women had tasted enough wine to get to the giggly point. Once again, he berated himself for signing them up for this trip. It was unlike him and he had no idea what the hell he'd been thinking.

"He's also a little embarrassed about having to use Viagra. That's nothing to be embarrassed about. Sometimes men's circulation goes in that area. You know Viagra can raise the dead if you know what I mean."

"Really? My boyfriend hasn't been able to for five years," Doris said.

"He should go to his doctor and give it a try," Tara said. "I keep telling Macon there's no shame in being impotent. It isn't his fault and with Viagra it can all be fixed. He's actually a much better lover."

"Really? How?" Violet asked.

"Well, before, he was kind of quick like a sprinter. With Viagra, it's more of a marathon."

The two women eyed Jax. He was sure they were wondering if he really had all his STDs cured.

"I may let the STDs get you," Jax cautioned Tara.

"He isn't talking about sexual STDs. He's talking about that crazy serial killer group."

"That is just the craziest thing I ever heard of," Violet said.

The wine tasting was finally over. The last winery was at least an hour's drive away. Jax decided to pretend to be asleep so he wouldn't have to talk to Tara. He just wanted the day to be over.

The last winery began with a welcoming glass of sparkling wine. For something to be called Champagne, it had to come from the Champagne region of France.

The meal was built around the winery's wines. Each of the four course dinner was accompanied by it's own wine. Glasses were quickly replenished resulting in people not realizing how much they were drinking and getting drunk.

Jax was watching his drinking. Tara was drinking a lot and someone had to be functional. As annoyed, irritated and angry he was with her over her behavior, he still had a duty to watch out for her.

Tara didn't remember much from that dinner. The meal started with lobster bisque. It was easily the best soup she'd ever eaten. Before each course, a man with a thick French accent would describe the course. The main course was venison.

"We're eating Bambi," Doris said loud enough for the Frenchman to hear.

"It ezzz not Bambi," he hissed.

"No, It ezzz her mother," Tara said too loudly in an equally thick French accent, rolling "r's" like a native.

The room erupted in laughter. The Frenchman left the room muttering something about rude Americans.

The delicious dinner ended with a chocolate mousse that was as light as air. The food was the high point of the winery outing. It wasn't the kind of food Jax had ever tasted before and he wouldn't have picked it from a menu but it was all delicious.

The alcohol seemed to have actually had a calming effect on Tara. After her Bambi comment, she became quiet.

The drive back to the hotel was marred by a drunk man who was loudly trying to tell a joke. Just as he got to the punchline, he would start the joke all over again. Jax found him more annoying than Tara when she'd been at her worst that night.

When they got back to their hotel, Jax bolted the door behind them before removing his gun from an ankle holster.

"Remember what I told you?" Jax reminded her.

"You said a lot of things."

"I warned you," Jax said as he began to slowly walk towards her.

Tara looked at the door and then looked at the bathroom door, trying to decide if she should try to run for a door or stand her ground and call Jax's bluff. If she left the room, he might not let her back in and if she locked herself in the bathroom, he could easily pop the door's flimsy lock. Standing her ground was her best option.

Still as Jax walked towards her, she felt a little fear, a little dread and some excitement.

He pulled her roughly into his arms and kissed her hard.

"

_**Author's Note: I stole the last name Buttzlaff from a real person and it's pronounced just like you would imagine. I just made up the first name.**_


	54. Chapter 54

2

**Twenty-One **

**CHAPTER 54**

**DAY 8: **_**What Came Next**_

"

Jax had been an accomplished kisser at sixteen. After ten years, he'd hit new heights. Tara wasn't sure how to define the perfect passionate kiss; she just knew this was it. It could have been because it was Jax or because it had been awhile since a man had kissed her with Jax's intensity or because she'd drunk a lot of wine. It didn't matter. All she knew was that it was amazing.

His well muscled arms held her tightly and his mouth was and demanding on hers. She thought she must be in a dream. It was that good. He released her abruptly. It could be the dream was turning into a nightmare.

"There. You finally got what you want," Jax said.

Tara stared at him disbelievingly.

"What the hell?" she demanded.

She felt like something happened that she didn't know about because what was happening made no sense. They were enjoying a nice, very pleasurable kiss and now the conversation was taking a hellish turn.

"You've wanted me to kiss you from the moment you saw me."

"Guess what Jax? My life doesn't revolve around you. I didn't care whether or not you kissed me because I don't care about you. You aren't as irresistible as you think you are."

"Really?" he asked with a smirk.

Tara's hand itched with the need to slap the smirk off his face. What the hell had gone wrong so fast? She couldn't figure it out. Whatever had happened was his fault.

"I'm back to hating you. Don't expect me to stay eternally grateful to you for saving my life. If there's a next time, just let me die. That's better than having to be grateful to you. I don't care that much about living anyway."

"I'll remember that," Jax snapped.

"I'm going to sleep in the bathtub. It's got to be better than sleeping with you," Tara said. She grabbed her pillow and went into the bathroom.

She looked at the bathtub and realized it would be a very uncomfortable place to spend the night. To hell with him, she wasn't sleeping in the bathtub. Why should she spend a miserable night it the bathtub?

"I'm not sleeping in the bathtub," she said returning to the bedroom.

"I didn't think you would."

"It isn't because I want to sleep with you. It's because the bathtub is uncomfortable."

"You don't have to worry that I'll forget that you hate me and try to make a move on you."

"Thanks. You're such a gentleman. I don't know what your problem is. I didn't do anything wrong and you act crazy."

"It's me. I'm crazy."

"Glad you finally figured that out."

It suddenly hit Tara that it was too early to go to bed. It was only 9 pm. She knew exactly how she was going to spend the hours she had before she went to bed. She'd read Jax's books. That would piss him off.


	55. Chapter 55

3

**Twenty-One **

**CHAPTER 54**

**DAY 8: **_**Go to Bed **_

"

Tara focused on reading her book. After a few minutes, Jax got out his laptop and began to work. They were sitting side by side in bed and it felt like they were a million miles apart.

Life was so damned strange. Never in a million years would she have imagined Jax working on a laptop. He was a guy that liked to work outside. She never thought that would change.

She also never thought he would have grown into such a jerk. Even when they were fighting almost nonstop he treated her better than this. She just could not figure him out. It didn't matter. She reminded herself that she hated him.

"When did you mean when you said you didn't care that much about living?" Jax asked after about a half hour.

Tara looked at Jax, uncertain about this new conversation. She didn't know if she should tell him the truth about her life or give him a convenient lie. He was being nicer now. Maybe she could risk telling him the truth.

When they would fight when they were together, Jax would wait and then begin a conversation like nothing had happened. She discovered this was sort of his way of fixing things. She didn't know if that were still true. Why would she even want to tell him the truth? There was something inside her that was driving her to tell him. She didn't want to think about it anymore than that.

"My life isn't the great success that I wanted it to be."

"Didn't you become a surgeon?"

Jax was using his really sweet voice that always could suck her into forgiving him for whatever he'd said that had angered her. After ten years, that hadn't changed. He was sucking her in again at least now she saw it coming.

"I'm a real neonatal surgeon. I loved school. I thought saving lives would be so worthwhile, but the reality is very different. A lot of surgeries are high risk and the outcomes can be poor ranging from death to a baby that will have significant developmental issues."

"You think this will change when you start your new job?"

"I'm telling myself that it will change, but that's naïve. It's still the tremendous pressure and stress dealing with parents who are at their worst because they have a sick baby."

"It has to be rewarding when you save a baby."

"Sometimes it's just a straightforward surgery and it's successful because it's a typical surgery. Those are great because you've fixed something and the baby will have a normal life. I worked on a Zika baby and it haunts me."

"What's a Zika baby?"

"It's a mosquito borne illness more common in South America, but people travel and get infected. It's mild kind of like the flu. People don't even know they have it. It's only a problem if a woman is pregnant. Zika eats the baby's brain. These parents were warned about how profoundly impaired the baby was going to be, but insisted on proceeding with the pregnancy. The baby is little more than a high maintenance pillow. I had to put in a shunt to remove fluid from the baby's brain. It was successful, but the baby is never going to be more than a pillow and I extended the baby's life."

"What are you going to do if you don't like your new job?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll just leave neonatal surgery and become a general surgeon or retrain a little and become a family doctor. I could go into research. I'm just not very happy," Tara said. "I guess some things never change. I think the only time I was ever truly happy was when we were together."

Tara feared that she'd said too much and been too honest.


	56. Chapter 56

2

**Twenty-One **

**CHAPTER 54**

**DAY 8: **_**Can't Take Pity **_

"

She saw the pity in his eyes. It felt like a dagger thrust into her heart. She could take him yelling at her, she could take his coldness, she could take just about anything including him telling her he didn't love her anymore. What she couldn't take was seeing pity soften his blue eyes when he looked at her.

How could she have been so stupid and weak to tell him the truth about her life? She was supposed to be new Tara. New Tara was confident, successful and had her life together. She wasn't the messed up, disaster of a girl that had left Charming. Only she was still that girl just ten years older. Nothing much had changed on the inside. Son of a bitch!

Being a surgeon had given her the veneer of success. Until her confession to Jax, she'd kept the fact that she had doubts about her surgical career to herself. Those words should have stayed unspoken. Now he would see her for the loser she'd always been and would remain.

"I've got a headache," Tara said quickly. "I'm going to take a shower and a sleeping pill, try to sleep off this headache."

"Are you OK?" he asked.

For a moment, she thought she actually detected concern in his voice. It was just another form of pity. She grabbed clothes from her suitcase and disappeared into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind her. Maybe she could stay in the bathroom so long that when she came out, he would be asleep.

Why the hell didn't she keep her mouth shut? It was the damned wine. That was it. No more drinking. She didn't love drinking so giving it up would be no hardship. If she hadn't had so much to drink she wouldn't have blurted out humiliating details of her life to Jax.

She wasn't still in love with him, but love was like chicken pox. It hangs out in your body once you've been infected. Sometimes, chicken pox returns as shingles and sometimes high school love returns as a deeper more serious and longer lasting love. She didn't want shingles and she sure as hell didn't want to lose her heart to Jax Teller again. Given a choice between the two, she'd pick shingles every single time.

Jax for his part hadn't expected Tara's confession. He thought she must have a great life. She dreamed of becoming a neonatal surgeon and had actually gone on to become one defying all the odds against her. All that training and hard work and she had doubts. She wasn't happy.

He couldn't get caught up in her life. That could only lead to disaster for her. As far as his life went, he knew exactly what he was going to do in the short term. Long term wasn't a problem. In the words of economist John Maynard Keyes in the long run we are all dead. Those words never failed to cheer him up.

He decided not to share these words with Tara. He didn't think they would cheer her up.


	57. Chapter 57

4

**Twenty-One **

**CHAPTER 57**

**DAY 8: **_**Ghosting Gemma**_

"

Tara took a shower, washed her face and calmed down. She had a new plan for dealing with Jax. She was going to ask him questions about his life. That would keep him from asking her questions about her life that she didn't want to answer. It would also help put her humiliating confession behind her.

Jax looked at her carefully when she opened the bathroom door.

"Feel better?"

"Never felt better," she said.

"I ordered champagne from room service. I just finished my book and sent it off to my agent. Wanted to celebrate a little. I'm going to be in the shower, so if someone knocks . . ."

"It isn't the STDs and I should open the door."

This was good, she told herself. Jax was acting like her confession had never happened. She just might get through this without further humiliation as long as she only had one glass of champagne and didn't talk about herself.

Tara thought again about the Zika baby she's performed surgery on and wondered if her parents had faced the reality that their baby would never see, hear, speak or communicate. No walking. No school. No prom. There would be no miracles. The baby's brain would not suddenly heal from the damage Zika had done to the brain.

She comforted herself with the knowledge that if she hadn't operated, another surgeon would have replaced her and the results would have been the same; the baby would live. It hadn't been her place to look at the baby's quality of life. That had been a decision for the parents.

The emotional detachment a doctor needed was something that escaped her. She couldn't help but think about failed surgeries that left a family in ruins or the successful surgeries that extended a patient's poor quality of life. She had no idea the emotional cost she would have to pay to be a surgeon. Deep down, she knew the new job in Texas wasn't going to be the answer.

Jax had learned long ago to focus and compartmentalize. It was the only way he'd survived his life. It was weight off his shoulders to get his book wrapped. He still had more to the letter he was writing Abel. He needed to finish that in case his future plans went bad.

Tara seemed calmer. That was good. He hated relationship drama. After his relaxing shower, he lit the fire, opened the champagne and they toasted to his finishing his book.

"I have to give you credit for not gloating over Gemma," Jax said.

"Do you remember me as cruel?"

"No. You were a lot of things, but not cruel. I know how you hated Gemma."

"I hated Gemma because I saw what she was doing to you. She also did her best to tear us apart. I'm only sorry for the pain she's caused you."

"It's funny when I read the stuff my father wrote about Gemma, it reminded me of the things you used to say about her. His take was harsher though."

"He knew her better," Tara said with a smile.

"I really wanted to believe he was wrong. You helped me. I wasn't as resistant to the truth. When you would talk to me about Gemma, I just couldn't see it. I wasn't ready to see it. At times, I hated all the fighting over Gemma. I blamed you. You didn't give up. I know now that it would have been easier for you to give up."

"I was trying to save you. I thought if I could open your eyes about Gemma, I might be able to save us."

"You did help save me. There was just a delay."

These were the words Tara wanted to hear back when she lived in Charming. If he'd said these words to her, she might have stayed.

"How did you get distance with Gemma? I can't imagine her not putting up a fight."

"It took awhile. Her immediate reaction was to try to smother me, bring me even closer. She blamed you for the distance."

"How was it my fault? I wasn't even in town."

"Your lies about her had poisoned my mind. Also since you broke my heart by leaving, I wasn't in my right mind."

"My heart got broken too."

"I'm not faulting you. We both got hurt. That's all part of first love."

"It ends and you both move ahead with life," Tara said.

"You can't stay lost in the past. Gemma believes she's the world's best mother. She thinks being my mother gives her the right to interfere in every aspect of my life. I was putting more and more distance between us. Then I went to prison. Of all the alleged crimes I may have committed, it's ironic that I get set up by the Feds for something I didn't do. That damned crook Rosen botched my case. I either had to take a plea or risk getting locked up for a long time."

Tara didn't believe Jax's protests of innocence. She knew that if he'd been caught with a dead body, the gun in his hand, the victim's blood on him and with a videotape of the murder, Jax would still swear he didn't do the crime. It was the MC way. Never admit to anything.

"I bet Gemma took your going to prison hard."

"I was in a Fed prison in Boston. I wasn't a model prisoner," Jax said with a chuckle. "I spent a lot of time in the hole. I didn't see Gemma during my entire sentence. I enjoyed prison as much as you can enjoy prison. I missed sex and just the freedom you get living life. I didn't miss Gemma. Getting locked up helped me put more distance between me and Gemma. And then my brother Happy came along."

"You think she's going to try to mold him?"

"She can mold him all she wants, but Happy is a soldier and not a leader. He will never be able to lead SAMCRO."

Jax was in a sharing sort of mood. Tara decided to take a risk.

"Why do you hate it when I read your books?"


	58. Chapter 58

2

**Twenty-One **

**CHAPTER 58**

**DAY 8: **_**Naked Truth**_

"

Tara remembered all the times they had spent in bed just talking about life and their crazy plans for the future. He was so close their bodies were almost touching as they faced each other in bed. Her pulse raced hoping that his answer would bring some sort of good news. She'd always been foolishly optimistic at the worst of times.

The silence stretched out becoming more tense with each passing moment. Jax hadn't stormed out of their hotel room. Tara took that as a good sign, but he wasn't answering her question. She debated repeating her question or moving on to another subject.

"When I started writing, it was something I did for me," Jax said slowly. "I didn't show it to anyone. When I was in prison, I wrote more since I had a lot of time on my hands and there was a writing workshop. The volunteer who ran the workshop liked my work and he had publishing connections. I didn't think it would go anywhere. After a lot of editing, my book got published."

"Who knows?"

"The volunteer, my agent, some publishing people."

"No one in Charming?"

"No. Writing about the MC life wouldn't make the MC happy. I would never have told you. That's why I tried to talk you out of getting the books. I knew you would guess."

"You know I would never tell anyone."

"I know. You've never repeated anything that I've told you in confidence."

"Why do you get mad whenever I start reading one of your books?"

"Do you really want to know?"

There was something in the tone of his voice that made her hair stand on end. She knew what her answer should be; she should say no. Deep in her gut, she knew she wasn't going to like his answer, but she had to know. She just couldn't let it go.

"Yes."

There was another long pause. Tara's heart beat faster with each second that ticked by.

"Strangers reading my stuff doesn't bother me. They don't know me. To them, it's just a novel. You know me. I don't want you inside my head. I don't want you getting close to me. I don't want to get close to you."

Tara felt like she'd been driving 100 miles an hour and run into a concrete wall with her face. The impact of his words stunned her. She wasn't going to ask any more questions. She didn't want to talk anymore especially not to ask another question.

"I'm going to sleep now. My headache is worse," Tara said. She was proud that her voice didn't shake and she wasn't crying.

"I'm going to work for awhile. Will the computer bother you if it's on?"

Tara shook her head. She went into the bathroom, brushed her teeth and got into bed. She closed her eyes. She didn't know how long Jax worked before shutting off his computer and the room went completely dark. That was when she finally let herself cry.


	59. Chapter 59

4

**Twenty-One **

**CHAPTER 59**

**DAY 9: **_**All Jammed Up**_

"

Jax didn't feel good about his talk with Tara. He hadn't wanted to hurt her, but he needed to push her away. She was getting too close to him. He had to constantly remind himself that there was no future for them. It was kinder to hurt her now than later.

He had to maintain his focus. He couldn't consider for even an instant what a future with Tara could look like. After she left, he'd closed off the emotional romantic part of himself. That didn't mean he went without sex. It just meant that he hadn't gone out searching for love. He'd found his father's manuscript and his goal in life became fixing his father's mistake. In a few days, he would finally achieve his goal.

He looked over at Tara sleeping on her side. He wished he could offer her comfort, but he had to stay strong. He was doing what was best for her. She would never know how hard this was for him.

The next morning, they packed and checked out of their hotel. Tara was quiet and withdrawn. She hadn't even asked him where they were going.

For her part, Tara was having an emotional hangover. She didn't understand how she could feel so empty and damaged inside. She wasn't in love with Jax, but she felt heart broken.

She didn't understand why he didn't want to feel closer to her. He may have said there was no future, but why couldn't they be friends? Tara knew the answer to that question. Being friends would never work for them. It had to be all or nothing. It was going to be nothing.

There was another possibility that hadn't occurred to Tara; Jax may have an old lady. In ten years, Jax was bound to have found love with someone else. She'd fallen in love a couple of times, but it hadn't lasted. It didn't have that deep passion she'd had when she'd fallen for Jax, but maybe Jax had found lasting love with someone else and he wanted to spare her feelings.

She wondered if that actually made sense. He'd told her they had no future. Last night he told her he didn't want her to get closer to him and he didn't want to get closer to her. That would have been the perfect time to have mentioned a wife or old lady.

She was furious with herself. Jax's feelings or lack of feelings shouldn't matter to her. They were over and done. The sooner they could be apart forever the better. She was beginning to think she'd rather take her chances with the STDs than spend another day with Jax.

She tried to find a bright side to her situation. After this road trip with Jax, she would never have any romantic fantasies about them getting back together. This trip was curing her of that.

As the silence stretched between them, Jax realized he should do something to smooth over the situation he'd created. He had been close to cruel to her last night.

"Tara, I didn't mean for my words to hurt you. Right now, I just need to keep the different parts of my life separate."

"Your words didn't hurt me. I don't care about you," Tara said. "I don't care about anything you say."

Tara wanted her words to be true, but she knew she was lying. She did have feelings for Jax. Hate. Her hatred of him was deeper than any love she'd had for him.

She didn't blame the STDs for wanting to kill Jax. Killing Jax seemed like a pretty damned good idea to her now.

Jax didn't say anything. He was taking a long winding two lane highway through wine country. He wasn't sure where he was going, he wanted to take a relaxing drive and they would stop when he found a place that felt right. What didn't feel right was the Humvee that had begun to follow them once they left Solvang.

He slowed his SUV down and the Humvee slowed down to keep the same following distance. This didn't feel right to him. The road wasn't highly traveled. He'd only seen one car in the last five minutes.

He reached down to where his smart phone was attached to the dashboard and tried to use the GPS.

"I can't get a signal. Tara, get your phone out and see if you can get reception."

Tara dug her phone out of her bag and discovered that she couldn't get a signal either.

"No signal."

"Either there's a cell site down or there's a cell phone jammer somewhere in the car."

"You think someone put a cell jammer in your car?"

Jax's eyes went to the rearview mirror again.

"Yeah, I do. There's a Humvee following us. You don't use a Humvee to follow someone. The car's too noticeable."

"What do you use a Humvee for?" Tara asked slowly. She was afraid she already knew the answer.

"To kill."

Tara turned her head and looked behind them. She saw the Humvee speed up.


	60. Chapter 60

3

**Twenty-One **

**CHAPTER 60**

**DAY 9: **_**Push**_

"

It was a bright sunny winter day. The gently rolling hills and the grape vines staked neatly in rows provided a beautiful sight, but the view was lost on Jax and Tara. Tara realized she didn't want to die. Her life might not be working out according to plan, but she could change it. She could find love and a job that fulfilled her; all she had to do was get out of this alive.

And as much as Jax hurt and angered her, she didn't want him to die either. She couldn't imagine a world without him in it.

Taking a bullet to the brain wouldn't be such a horrible way to die. As a doctor, she'd seem some pretty horrific deaths filled with pain. She didn't want her life to end like that.

If that Humvee hit them and shoved them into the ravine, the tumbling vehicle, breaking glass and impact would smash and batter their bodies. With luck, they would die on impact. More likely, they would lie in unimaginable pain their bodies twisted and broken at the bottom of the hill until their bodies gave out. It could take minutes or days.

"Are you sure that they are going to hurt us?"

Tara wanted Jax to be wrong. He could have misread things. It could be they were just taking the same scenic drive.

"I didn't just come to this conclusion. I've made turns and they've made the same turns. I've slowed down and instead of passing us, they slowed down. Our cell phones have lost signal. My phone was working fine in the hotel room. If a cell site was down, we would have moved into another area by now and gotten a cell signal again."

She should have known that Jax would have worked it out and made sure he was right about the Humvee before mentioning it to her.

"Do you have a plan?" Tara asked, her voice shaking.

Jax glanced over at her. The color had drained from her face and she looked terrified. He was perfectly calm. He was at his best in dangerous situations that required quick thinking.

"I always have a plan. I'm going to need you to do exactly as I say."

"Sound familiar."

"No matter what happens, stay calm."

"I'm too scared to panic."

"See that long stretch ahead?" he asked pointing at the road. "I'm going to switch the cruise control on, so we don't have to worry about the pedals. You will hold the wheel while I climb into the backseat, then you crawl over the gear shift and take my place behind the steering wheel and disengage the cruise control."

"I don't know any fancy driving moves."

"All you need to do is keep the car on the road and if we get hit, steer the car into the hill and not the valley."

The Humvee began to speed up. It was going to try to hit them as they rounded the hill's curve. Suddenly, a tour bus appeared traveling in the opposite direction. The Humvee slowed down and put some distance between the two vehicles.

"Get ready," Jax said. "As soon as we're around this curve, we need to change places."

"Are we going to get out of this?" Tara asked.

"Sure," he said with a cocky grin. "Believe in me."

Jax switched on the cruise control as the bus passed them.


	61. Chapter 61

4

**Twenty-One **

**CHAPTER 61**

**DAY 9: **_**Fire**_

"

Tara grabbed the steering wheel, keeping the SUV straight and in its lane as Jax climbed into the back seat. Once he was in the back seat, she began climbing over the gear shift. The car veered side to side as she climbed.

"Stay cool," Jax said. "Try not to swerve."

"I'm trying not to swerve," she said between gritted teeth. With one last swerve, she got into the driver's seat and clicked off the cruise control.

"What do I need to do next?"

"Just keep the SUV on the road."

What are you going to do?"

"Shoot them."

Tara tried to keep her disappointment to herself. Jax was going to shoot a Humvee with a gun. This didn't sound like a great plan to her. She didn't know what sort of plan she expected him to come up with but she doubted that shooting at the Humvee was going to work.

Well, that was it. They were probably going to die. The unknown was how grisly their deaths would be. Let it be quick, she prayed.

Jax reached under the driver's side back seat and pulled out a large handgun. He opened the gun and checked that there was a bullet in every chamber. He had five shots to get it done.

Tara watched him in the rearview mirror.

"That's a big gun."

"It shoots 50 cals. I'm going to shoot into their engine, hit their radiator or engine block and disable the car."

Tara felt some of the tension leave her body. She should have known that Jax would have a better plan than to use an ordinary hand gun to shoot at a Humvee.

"You're prepared," Tara said.

"Better to be over prepared than bring a knife to a gun fight," Jax said with a smile.

Jax took aim at the Humvee moving from seat to seat trying to get the best angle. He couldn't get the shot he needed to disable the Hummer. The Humvee began to speed up as they came to a curve.

"Speed up," Jax told Tara. "Just be very careful about swerving at a high rate of speed. You'll roll the car."

"Great. I speed up and I could roll the car and I don't speed up and they hit us and it could roll the car."

"Yeah, sometimes life sucks," Jax said.

Tara pressed down on the accelerator and the SUV surged forward. The Hummer increased speed trying to catch up. Tara took a curve fast rocking the car, barely maintaining control of the car. The Hummer slowed down as it went around the same curve.

"Good job," Jax said encouraging her.

"I almost lost control of the car."

"Almost makes it OK," Jax said.

He again tried to line up a shot. It wasn't possible. He couldn't get a decent shot. There was only one way to get the shot he needed. He was going to have to lean out of the window.

"OK, here's the plan. I'm going to lean out the window at the next straight stretch of road. This gun will spit fire, smoke and be deafening. Focus on just keeping the car on the road and don't worry about me or the shooting."

Until that moment, Tara had her fear in check, but as Jax described what would happen when he shot the gun, her body got cold and shaky. He was risking his life to save them.

Jax lowered the window and began wrapping the backseat passenger's side shoulder belt around his leg.

"Almost there," Jax said.

"Should I slow down?"

"Just try to drive as straight as possible. If I fall out of the car, keep driving. There's a .38 under the driver's seat."

"Be careful."

"I've got this," he said.

As they reached a straight stretch of road, Jax went out the window balancing on the window ledge. He tightened the shoulder belt around his leg trying to anchor himself to the car. He reached into back waistband of his jeans where he'd put the gun and pulled it out. He steadied himself one final time before taking aim at the Hummer.

Tara thought Jax was just going to lean out the window, she had no idea he was planning to hang out of the window.

"Just be safe," Tara whispered to Jax.

"Just drive straight," Jax said before firing.

The first shot clipped the Humvee. Jax lost his balance before quickly steadying himself using his left hand. The Hummer increased its speed determined to hit the SUV before Jax got off another shot.

Jax took aim and put three rounds into the Hummer before finishing with a last shot to the windshield. He slid back inside the car as the Hummer with a last burst of speed hit the car.

Tara jammed the accelerator hard. The Hummer barely tapped the SUV's bumper before stopping. Black smoke poured out from under the hood of the Humvee.

Two guys scrambled out of the vehicle and shot at the SUV. Their shots missed as the SUV rounded another curve.

Jax put the window up and unwrapped the shoulder belt from his leg.

"Ready for me to drive?"

"You really know how to show a girl a good time, Teller," Tara said.

"Glad you're enjoying yourself, darling'."

The Humvee was stopped in the middle of the road completely disabled, flames pouring out from under the hood.


	62. Chapter 62

3

**Twenty-One **

**CHAPTER 62**

**DAY 9: **_**Car Fight**_

"

Jax climbed back into the driver's seat. He fastened his shoulder belt and flipped off the cruise control.

"You did a great job," Jax said.

"Well I had the easier job," Tara said drily. "I thought leaning out the window was more of a lean. You climbed out the window."

"I did what I needed to do to get the shot."

Tara wasn't still mad at Jax. Fear had driven that emotion away. She expected the anger to return later, but for the moment she was glad that they were alive and unhurt.

"So which one of your enemies do you think was trying to kill us this time?"

"I have no idea. They were smart enough to use a cell jammer to keep us from calling for help, but now that might help us. The jammer will also jam GPS signals. A lot of cars have GPS chips. We may not be able to use our phones, but no one can find us either."

"What's our next step?"

"Circle back to Solvang. Stay another night and plot our next move. What do you think?"

"That probably is the least likely place they would look for us as long as we stay at a different hotel."

"If I remember the map correctly, this road branches one way to Santa Barbara and the other back to Solvang. I want to get us back into town so we can lose ourselves in traffic. I don't know how long it will take the Humvee guys to call for back up. Hopefully, it will give us enough time to lose ourselves."

"Back-up? You really think they have back-up?"

"I don't know. We need to assume they do. I disabled their Humvee and I shot out the window, but at least two of them are still alive."

"I can't believe they keep coming after us. It's like the _Terminator_ movies."

"They will keep coming until they achieve their objective. That's the way this works. We've got to figure out a way to take this fight to them and take them out."

Tara thought it was funny that Jax was including her in this planning phase. Did he really think she had the skills for this?

"I can't believe people with terminal illnesses have this much energy to keep coming for us."

"Having a terminal illness doesn't make you frail. The STDs could have a year or so to live and I think there are professional killers mixed in with the STDs."

"The second wave clean up team?"

"That's my guess."

"You think there's a second clean up team following the Humvee?"

"I hope not," Jax said studying the rearview mirror. There were no vehicles behind them for the moment. "I wish this area had some bushes that we could park behind, but there's no cover anywhere."

"That's good because no one can sneak up on us," Tara said.

"Good point. I appreciate how calm you are being. Most women would have fallen apart by now."

"I'm a doctor. I can't fall apart in a bad situation."

"I'm sure medical school didn't prepare you for repeated murder attempts."

"I learned to deal with life or death situations, but I'm pretty calm if you remember."

"With the exception of a few cat fights," Jax said with a grin.

"I realize now that I should have fought with you and not the girls. You were the problem."

Oh, hell, Jax thought. They were in danger of entering the fight zone. He would rather hang out a car's window than have a conversation about the past. Why did he mention cat fight? He should have known this was going to trigger a fight and car fights were the worst. There was no escape.

"I never cheated on you," Jax said quietly.

"No, you just flirted with every girl that crossed your path."

"That's all it ever was."

Suddenly Tara was overcome with fury. She wasn't sure why now of all the times, but she was just fed up with his Jax Tellerness.

"No, you may not have cheated on me, but you flirted with every girl that crossed your path and that made me feel like a dog. You never made me feel attractive. You treated me like shit a lot of the time."

Jax flinched from the fury in her words.

"And you waited ten years to tell me this?"

"It wouldn't have done any good. You were Jax Teller God's gift to women. You wouldn't have stopped."

"This is the Tara I remember," Jax said slamming his hands against the steering wheel in frustration.

He had tried so hard to avoid a fight about the past with Tara, but now it was on.

"

_**Maybe finally Jax and Tara will reveal the circumstances around their break-up.**_


	63. Chapter 63

2

**Twenty-One **

**CHAPTER 63**

**DAY 9: **_**Round 1**_

"

Tara was seething with ten years worth of anger and resentment. Damn Jax Teller. She'd forgotten how bad he used to make her feel.

"What's wrong with the me you remember?" Tara asked.

Jax knew telling the truth would not get him out of this situation. He needed to figure out something to tell her to avoid this turning into a fight. He wasn't in the mood. He needed to conserve his energy in case he needed to battle for their lives again.

"Nothing," he said quickly. "You were perfect. I was the messed up one," Jax said. OK. He'd taken the blame for everything even though nothing was really his fault. Teen girls were crazy and Tara might have been a little crazier than most.

"Don't you dare patronize me!" Tara yelled.

Women, Jax thought, what the hell was wrong with them? You take the blame and it's still not good enough.

"I wasn't. Everything was my fault."

"You are a coward, Jax Teller. You don't want to talk truthfully."

"I was hanging out the window of a moving SUV trying to save our lives a few minutes ago," Jax reminded her hotly. "That's not exactly the actions of a coward."

"That's not the kind of coward I mean and you know it."

Oh, fucking hell, Jax thought, he wasn't going to get out of this conversation. Maybe this was a nightmare and he'd wake up. He'd rather dodge bullets than have this conversation.

"Tara, what the hell is your problem? All this shit is ten years old. What is the point in discussing it?"

"Because I have you trapped in this car with me and you can't storm off," Tara said smugly.

This was it, Tara thought. She finally had Jax where she wanted him—trapped with no escape. He would have to listen to everything she'd wanted to say to him, but she never got to say because he would always storm off.

"

_**Author's Note: I just felt like doing a mini chapter.**_


	64. Chapter 64

3

**Twenty-One **

**CHAPTER 64**

**DAY 9: **_**Round 2**_

"

"If our friends catch up with us or send another team, I'd like to not have spent the last remaining hours of my life rehashing a dead and over relationship," Jax said, his voice icy. "You can autopsy the body, but you can't bring it back to life."

Jax was intentionally being a bastard believing he would hurt her less in the long run if they didn't have this conversation. For his part, nothing she said could hurt him. His armor was too thick and he wasn't in love with her anymore.

"This isn't about you and what's best for you. For once, this is about me and what I want to say."

"Fine," Jax said sighing heavily and looking in the rearview mirror. He was hoping to spot a tail, anything to avoid this conversation.

"You mentioned all the cat fights I used to get into. You enjoyed every single minute of it."

"I was a teenage boy. We like watching girls fight. Hell, men like seeing women fight. It was also good for my ego," Jax said. He had a faint smile on his face as he thought of some of Tara's fights.

"Did you ever wonder why I was fighting?"

"The girl disrespected you or got too close to me. Some kind of girl shit. Tara back then my girl psych skills weren't that good. Haven't improved much either."

"I got into fights because you made me feel so damned insecure and ugly. I was always afraid I'd lose you to a hotter, prettier girl."

Jax turned to look at her with surprise.

"Tara I loved you. How could you think that I was going to immediately fall out of love with you and fall in love with someone else?"

"That's what I thought because you were always flirting with girls sometimes even in front of me like you were looking for a replacement girlfriend. You made me feel like dirt."

Tara's stomach was twisted in knots just like back in high school. He used to hurt her so much, she's have to go to the bathroom and cry. In those moments, she'd hated him. All those old emotions were coming back to her.

"Son of a bitch!" Jax yelled. "What the hell is it about women? I'm not a fucking mind reader. If you had a problem with what I was doing, you had a mouth. You could have used it to tell me. _You never told me_."

Tara flinched visibly from the force of his words.

"You know what, you're right. I could have said something to you. I didn't think it would do any good because were Jax fucking Teller. Prince Charming. God's gift to women. Sex god in training. MC badass."

Jax ignored all the compliments. He'd think about them later.

"How the hell is this my fault suddenly? You blame _me _because you didn't speak up. This is all on you Tara."

"How would you have felt if I'd made out with a guy in front of you back then?"

"It didn't happen."

"What if it had?"

"_I_ would have used my voice to talk to you about it."

"You can't even imagine what you would have done if you caught me with another guy because you were secure. You knew I wouldn't cheat on you. I never had that sense of security."

"I never cheated on you," Jax yelled, slamming his hands on the steering wheel again in frustration.

"You let girls put their hands all over you in front of me. You fucking did that so there would be a fight. You needed me to fight to feed your ego."

Tara scowled at him. She had ten years of anger stored up and only a little had spilled out. This wasn't finished yet. This might be the only chance she would ever get to tell Jax some truth.

"Here's the real problem. You needed to have your ego fed so you flirted and let girls touch you in front of me. You treated me like shit and you aren't man enough to admit it."

"

**_Next Up: Round 3_**


	65. Chapter 65

4

**Twenty-One **

**CHAPTER 65**

**DAY 9: **_**Round 3**_

"

Jax shook his head, his jaw clenched. This was the never ending fight from hell. This was why he preferred sex to romance and relationships. He had a physical need for sex, but he didn't have a physical need for love. Sex was straightforward—get in, get out and move on. Simple and efficient. No relationship drama.

"I was the worst boyfriend in the world. I treated you like shit. You were perfect. I failed to see it. Everything was all my fault. Can we be done with this now?"

Jax had managed to make a bad situation even worse with his choice of words. He intended to calm her down, but instead he'd fired her up even more.

"You are a smug, arrogant, _son of a bitch_. I don't know what the hell I ever saw in you."

Jax flinched a little internally. The hate in her voice shouldn't have surprised him, but it did. It shouldn't bother him, but it did. This was exactly why he didn't want to discuss the past. There was nothing to be gained by it except misery.

"And despite all my sins, I've kept you alive," Jax said.

"You're the reason I'm in danger."

Jax took the turn back to Solvang.

"You don't know that for a fact."

"Oh, come on, Jax. You damned well know the murder attempts are connected to you somehow. I'm just plain old boring Tara Knowles. Too dull for anyone to bother trying to kill."

"And that's exactly what's wrong with you."

"I'm dull and boring."

"No, you _see_ yourself as dull and boring. I had hoped that when you grew up and left Charming to become a doctor, you would finally find some self-confidence."

"You were the reason I didn't have any self-confidence."

"Because I flirted with other girls in front of you?"

Tara's only area of confidence was academic. That was the world she was comfortable in. It was the only place she felt she belonged. She had never been comfortable in Jax's MC world.

She'd done her best to fit in, but she always felt out of place. Jax's non-stop flirting with crow-eaters in front of her hadn't made her feel comfortable in SAMCRO's clubhouse.

"That was a big chunk of it," Tara admitted. "How the hell do you think I felt when you were flirting with girls and letting them put their hands all over you?"

"I wasn't with the crow-eaters. I was with you. And you never said anything, so how the hell was I supposed to know how you were feeling? You should have told me. How many more times are we going to keep having this same argument?"

"Until I can get it through that thick head of yours that you treated me like shit. I will admit that I should have spoken up, but I shouldn't have had to tell you not to flirt and allow girls to touch you in front of me. You should have known that what you were doing was wrong."

"I couldn't fucking well read your mind."

"This isn't about reading minds. This is about you thinking about someone other than yourself. You liked flirting with the crow-eater whores. It fed your enormous ego. How did you think it made me feel?"

"I'm going to shoot myself if this conversation goes on much longer. I didn't know how you felt because _you fucking didn't tell me_!" Jax shouted.

Tara's face flushed with anger.

"_I shouldn't have had to tell you the fucking obvious_!" Tara yelled back. "How the hell didn't you figure out that your behavior was upsetting me? Wait a minute. I know why now. You only thing about yourself. It never even occurred to you how I might feel because my feelings weren't important to you. You've only ever thought about yourself."

"OK. Fine. I was selfish and I mistreated you."

"You still don't get it!" Tara's voice rose.

"What the hell don't I get?" Jax demanded.

He was beginning to regret not leaving her in Charming and letting her take her chances dealing with the STDs. At least then, they would not be having this conversation."

Suddenly it seemed so simple to Tara. Maybe she finally had a way into that thick head of his and he would understand her point.

"It's about respect. I didn't make out with guys in front of you because I had respect for you. Isn't that really big in an MC? Clubs go to war over respect. You never showed me respect."

Jax turned to look at her. This wasn't good. Tara might actually be right. _Son of a bitch!_


	66. Chapter 66

3

**Twenty-One **

**CHAPTER 66**

**DAY 9: **_**Fight the Feeling**_

"

Tara might have a point about the respect thing. Maybe it hadn't been respectful to flirt with other girls and let them put their hands all over him in front of her. He had really enjoyed it though. It was probably not respectful at all, but maybe he was wrong about it not being respectful. He was actually being extremely respectful; Tara just wasn't thinking about it the way she should. He would help her understand.

"You see it as disrespect, but it wasn't," he said thinking quickly. "I was showing you respect because I always left with you and I never cheated. I was actually trying to make you feel more confident. I wanted you to know that no matter what, you were the girl I was always leaving with."

Tara gave him a death stare.

"You've been around simple minded crow-eaters too long because that explanation wasn't even close to believable," she said sarcastically.

"It made sense to me," Jax said drily. "Maybe you're just too smart for me. I'm a simple guy."

"Fuck you, Jax Teller," Tara said hotly. "I'm a simple guy. Such bullshit."

Jax laughed. The simple guy line had been pretty outrageous even for him.

"No wonder people want to kill you. You are such an asshole. Add my name to the list of people who hate you enough to want to kill you. It's surprising that you're still alive."

"Come on, Tara. It's been ten years. Just let it go."

"Yeah and you still can't be honest with me. You still can't look at how you treated me and be honest about it."

"OK. I admit, I could have treated you better, but you could have told me how you felt."

"Quit playing dumb. It's not a good look. How could you believe it was OK to flirt and let a girl fondle you in front of me?"

"Maybe I wanted you to tell me that," Jax countered raising his voice.

"I was fighting with these girls. My actions were telling you that."

"I can't read minds. You should have spoken up."

"Son of a bitch," Tara yelled. "If the STDs don't kill you, I may. You are the most frustrating man I have ever met. You just can't admit you were wrong."

"Calm down. All this shit happened ten years ago. It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me," Tara said. "I don't care how many years ago it was. You treated me like shit and you don't even have the balls to admit it."

"Fine," Jax said gritting his teeth. "I treated you like shit. Are you happy now? You need a formal apology? Will that bring this damned conversation to an end or are we going to keep having it forever? It sure as hell feels like it's been going on forever."

"I don't know what the hell I ever saw in you," Tara said, her vice eerily calm. "I loved you so damned much back then. I was so desperate to save you from Gemma, from the MC, from prison. I thought I could get through that thick head of yours. Over the past ten years, I've wondered what happened to you. How many people you killed, if you were still alive or if you had been locked up for the rest of your life. I thought about looking up stuff on the internet about you. In the end, I didn't have the courage," her voice broke with sadness. "I was afraid of what bad stuff I would find. Now I don't care."

Jax thought he'd hardened his heart and there was nothing that she could say that would hurt him, but her words caught him by surprise. He flinched inside. She'd scored a direct hit to his heart.

"

"

_**Author's Note: This conversation will eventually end. It's difficult to write a fight and get the right words to move this in the direction needed. Many thanks to the readers that are kind enough to review. It definitely helps me stay motivated and writing through the difficult patches.**_

_**And for Blood for Ink—Jax used a 50 caliber gun against the car following them—the same caliber gun he used in the episode when he and SAMCRO broke Clay out of the prison transport. He shot out the bullet proof windshield with the gun.**_

"


	67. Chapter 67

4

**Twenty-One Days **

**CHAPTER 67**

**DAY 9: **_**Save Yourself**_

"

Jax knew he wasn't in love with Tara. Breaking up and then spending ten years apart was a love killer. There was just something about her saying she didn't care what happened to him that bothered him.

"You might want to rethink not caring about me since without me, you wouldn't still be alive," Jax's voice was cold.

"OK," Tara said. "I'll care about you until I'm safe, how's that?"

"When did you become such a super bitch or am I special and you only show me this side of you?"

"I learned my super bitch skills from your mother."

Jax laughed unexpectedly.

"If you thought that would offend me, you're wrong. Gemma _is_ a super bitch."

"I was always a pathetic doormat when I was with you. Bow down to Jax about everything."

"That was never my expectation."

"I know," Tara said staring out the car window at the rolling vineyards. "That was on me. I always tried to bend myself into the person I thought you wanted. I didn't even know who the hell I was."

"You were a teenager," Jax said impatiently. "That's the experience. You were discovering who you are."

"That was a part, but I was so scared of not being what I thought you wanted."

"You do know that's not my fault?"

"Nothing ever is."

"That's bullshit and you know it," Jax's voice had an undercurrent of anger in it. "Don't blame me for your lack of spine back in high school."

"No, I know that your never ending flirting with other girls in front of me was my fault."

"Finally some progress."

"I was being sarcastic."

"So was I."

Tara gave him another death stare.

"Are you always so hateful?"

"You bring it out in me."

"Of course another way to blame things on me."

"You really need to give the whole martyr act a rest."

"I always tried to be the perfect little girlfriend because I thought if I were perfect then our relationship would be perfect."

"At the end, we were always fighting. Did you forget that?"

"The reason we fought was because I realized what your future was going to look like. You under Gemma's control, a mindless MC thug destined to spend large amounts of your life in prison. I thought if I could get through to you, I could save you and our relationship."

"And get me to leave Charming with you."

"It was the only way you would ever get free of the MC and Gemma. I thought if I could be the perfect girlfriend, you would love me so much, you would want to leave Charming with me."

"That was a major miscalculation on your part."

"I was trying to save you."

"All I could see was you being jealous of the time I spent with the MC. I thought part of your hatred of Gemma was because you didn't have a mother, so you resented the fact that I had a mother."

"I'd much rather have no mother than have Gemma."

Jax chuckled.

"I agree with you there. She's only gotten worse over the years."

"Scary as hell to imagine that."

"Do you regret trying to save me?" Jax's voice was surprisingly gentle.

"No. Despite all the fights and how bad it got, I had to try to save you."

"Sometimes I look back on the days when I was so into SAMCRO and everything and it feels like I was in a cult. It wasn't until I found my father's journal and I read his truth that I began to see the MC for what it really was. That's one thing you did get wrong. You told me how bad the MC was, but you had underestimated just how destructive it could be not just to the members but to those around them."

"And yet you stayed a member."

"I was trying to fix it."

"When I couldn't fix you, I left."

"You were right to leave. Your staying in Charming wouldn't have helped me see the truth."

"In the end, the only person I could save was me."

"When I read my father's journal, I thought about the things that you said and it kind of reinforced what my father was telling me from beyond the grave."

"When I told you I was breaking up with you and leaving, you never said anything to try to stop me. I thought you loved me so much, you would have at least said something—maybe suggest working on our relationship. You just let me go without a word. Why?"

She wanted to know why. Maybe she should hear the truth. He'd been on the receiving end of a lot of her truth. Now, it was her turn.

"

_**Author's Note: Ink for Blood—Didn't think your question was stupid—hope my answer didn't give you that impression. **_


	68. Chapter 68

5

**Twenty-One Days **

**CHAPTER 68**

**DAY 9: **_**One Step over the Line**_

"

Tara had pushed it too far. She should have kept her mouth shut. Digging into the reason Jax just let her go wasn't going to make her life better. If she could be honest with herself she would admit his answer could hurt her. That didn't make sense. She didn't love him. Whatever her feelings for him, they were far closer to hate than any other emotion.

Why the hell did it matter why he didn't try to stop her from breaking up with him? Maybe there was a deep amount of masochism in her that made her want him to hurt her. This was the problem with relationships—too much complexity.

"Let's stop here for lunch," Jax said.

There was a restaurant bar that looked liked it might be a biker bar because there were more than a half dozen bikes parked out front. It had a health inspection "A" in the window so that was encouraging. If she had been by herself, she would never have stopped there alone.

"It looks like a biker place."

"Best food."

"If we can get out alive."

"Don't worry. I'll bring my gun and my back-up ankle holster gun."

"Yeah, I feel safe," Tara said doubt in her voice.

Jax parked the car so it wasn't visible from the road just in case someone was looking for their SUV.

"Leave your phone in the car. We don't want anyone tracking us via cell signal."

Jax dumped the phones out of his jacket before putting on his shoulder holster and sliding his 9mm into it. He added his ankle holster and his .38.

"You think you're going to need that much firepower?"

"No, but I'd rather not need it than need it and not have it."

"Me too. I hope we can have a nice calm lunch."

Jax and Tara never fought in front of people. They kept their fights to themselves both sharing a hatred of screaming fights in public.

They got burgers and shared a deep fried combo plate of onion rings, mushrooms and pickles. They didn't talk much. Jax was hoping if enough time passed Tara would forget the question she'd asked him.

He didn't understand why women talked endlessly about feelings and relationships. Too much introspection was not a good thing. It was better to just take things as they come and not think about the past since there was nothing that could be done about it.

Jax and Tara managed to get out of the biker bar/restaurant without having to shoot their way out. He took that as a good omen. Maybe Tara would be so happy with all the fried food they ate that she would forget about talking about their relationship.

"We should be back in Solvang in another hour or so," Jax said.

"Did you really think I'd forget you hadn't answered my question?"

Jax vowed that he would never ever get involved with a smart woman again. They were just too much trouble. Damn Tara's memory.

"I'll answer your question."

"With the truth," Tara added.

"There's no more reason to lie to each other anymore. No relationship to save or to heal."

"Let's hear it then."

"It wasn't the fighting about Gemma. That I could have fixed. I couldn't fix the fights about the MC."

"I wasn't jealous over the time you spent with the MC. It was always about worrying about you doing something you wouldn't be able to come back from like killing someone and getting arrested."

"I loved the MC so much back then. I believed in the whole brotherhood thing. It was such a rush of excitement. Outlawing was the first thing I'd ever experienced that I felt really good at. There's a power with going outside the law and living your life the way you want to live it without a bunch of stupid laws. We were above the rules."

"I always knew you loved the MC more than me. I was OK with that. I understood that you were raised in that life. I was worried about some of the consequences."

"I never could get you to understand that I loved you both in different ways. You just refused to see that."

"No," Tara said fighting to hold onto her temper. "I saw that. I can understand loving an institution and loving a person. It was always about the MC destroying you."

"Back then, I felt invincible. It was all good until I read my father's manuscript. I started to see things with new eyes—especially the way the MC treats women. We went on an Indian Hills run. They have a brothel as a side business. Jury the president treats us to his stable of girls. They weren't people. They were products."

This was the Jax she remembered. The guy that was thoughtful and had empathy for others. At least that part of him wasn't gone.

"There's a lot of violence in the MC life," Tara said.

"Yeah. I liked that. Still do. It can be a more effective way to settle problems. What I didn't like was the violence against women. My father wrote in his journal about MC guys needing money. They tell their old ladies they need a certain amount of money and when they wanted it. It was up to the old ladies how they got it. They could sell jewelry, property or themselves. They just knew if they didn't want an ass kicking, they better get their old men the money."

"It's hard to get that a woman would allow herself to be treated like that."

"There are third generation crow-eaters," Jax said. "It's all they know."

"I thought if you loved me enough you would have least said something, made some attempt to save us. All you said was OK. Why?"

"I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I was tired of the constant fights. I was nineteen. I wanted to be young, chase girls and have fun with my MC. You were a beautiful prison, but you were still a prison. That's why I didn't say anything. You gave me a get out of jail free card."

"I thought you loved me."

"I did love you, but my need to be free was greater than my love for you."

Tara didn't understand why ten years later his words had the power to crush her. At least she could hide her tears behind her sunglasses.

"

"

_**Author's Note: This story is taking a little nap for a couple of weeks. I've been trying to finish another story that I also write Jax Is Really Alive. I have the final two chapters to write and I need to devote some intense time to give the story the time and attention it deserves and give it the proper killer send off it has earned. I plan to post the two remaining chapters by Christmas.**_

_**"**_

**Why Do I Write Under Different Names?**

_**I see stories as products and pen names as brands. It makes sense to keep stories that have the same basic view under the same name. The stories under **_**MVeneer**_** are consistent with SOA. The Jax and Tara I write are consistent with the TV show and all the Jax and Taras in the stories are the same characters.**_

_**This story doesn't follow the TV show. It's an AU and the Jax and Tara aren't like the ones on the TV show either. **_


	69. Chapter 69

6

**Twenty-One Days **

**CHAPTER 69**

**DAY 9: **_**Stiff Upper Lip**_

"

_**Author's Note: This story's nap turned into a long sleep. It took me a lot longer to finish Jax Is Really Alive, but it's finally done.**_

_**I had been away from this story so long, I had to go back to reread it. I started to look at the way I account for the days. A reader mentioned it to me and at that time, I didn't see the problem. Sometimes I look at something in too narrow of a context. Now I understand. **_

_**It's very confusing because Jax and Tara sometimes talk until early morning. To make things clearer, I have been going back over the chapters and fixing the day count to conform to my new method. I haven't finished yet. When Jax and Tara wake up, that begins a new day regardless of when they go to bed. I think this will make it easier for me to get the day count correct. I should finish revisions in the next week or so depending on how much I write other projects.**_

_**"**_

Tara's stomach was in knots. She didn't think it was from lunch. It was Jax's words that had left her oddly heartbroken. It didn't make sense that she felt like this. She didn't love him anymore, but she'd always thought he had been deeply in love with her. How could he have been deeply in love with her if he wanted his freedom more than he wanted to be with her?

She looked out the window and barely saw the lush rolling hills and the vineyards. All she could think about were his words and how much they stung.

Jax had hoped that since Tara didn't love him anymore his words wouldn't hurt her. He might not love her anymore, but he wasn't cruel. He didn't want to hurt her. She had been the center of his life for a couple of years and had meant the world to him.

"Tara, the times we spent together were some of the happiest days of my life. When I found my father's journal, he made some of the points that you made about the MC. My mind was open to that because you helped me."

This was too much to bear. Jax was now comforting her. She felt like the biggest loser on the planet. It wasn't because he didn't love her anymore. She didn't love him anymore, but she hated that he let her go because he wanted to be free. How could you let someone go if you truly deeply loved that person?

When she left, it was because she loved him too much. She knew he was going to end up dead or in prison and she couldn't bear to see that happen. It would have been far too painful. And then there was the waiting for it to happen. It would have been hell.

Why did the past still have the power to hurt her? Why did Jax still have the power to hurt her? It didn't make any sense. She wished to God she'd never set foot in Charming. She thought three weeks, she could do three weeks in Charming, what could happen in three weeks? Now she was just hoping she would still be alive in three weeks.

Jax pulled into a large truck stop just off the freeway.

"Why are we here?" Tara asked.

"I want to check the SUV for a tracker and I want to find and disable the cell jammer."

He slowly and methodically searched the SUV until he found a device about the size of his hand and disabled it. He then took a small device out of an outside pocket of his duffel bag and began to check for a GPS tracker. He found one by the passenger's side wheel well.

"I'll be right back," Jax said.

He chose a truck with an out of state license plate and put the GPS tracker on it. That should give whoever was tracking them a good time.

He returned to the SUV and went over the car again looking for another tracker. He wasn't surprised when he found another one. Either someone was very careful or there were two groups tracking them. He placed the tracker on the same truck and returned to the SUV. Once more he checked for a tracker. This time he didn't find one.

"You found two trackers?" Tara asked.

"Yeah. The cell jammer would have jammed them too. I don't know if they thought that through when they put the jammer in the car or if there are more than one group looking for us."

Tara nodded.

"Are you OK with going back to Solvang or is there somewhere else?" Jax asked.

"I don't care. Wherever we're the least likely to get found again works for me."

"I don't think they will think that we would return to Solvang and it's going to take them awhile to realize we found the GPS trackers and put them on other vehicles."

"Do what you think is best," Tara said.

"I'm starting to like new Tara."

"Just remember that we have no future together."

OK, Jax thought, Tara wasn't handling the news that he had been OK with their break-up because he'd wanted to be free and enjoy being young. He knew it wouldn't go over well, but she'd pressed him for the truth. He'd given it to her. Time for her to grow-up and face the facts.

He'd also been truthful that her take on the MC had been going through his head and he'd been more receptive to his father's truth when he read his journal. Why the hell did she have to walk back into his life at the worst possible moment at the most dangerous time? Some people have all the luck. That was the only reason.

Jax found a steakhouse for dinner. Tara liked the idea of having a great meal. It might be the last if the people in the Humvee had anything to say about it. She hoped Jax's trick of planting the tracker on a truck worked and that sent those tracking them on a wild goose chase.

After dinner, Jax found them a hotel and they checked in for a few nights. He preferred for them to stay in large hotels with interior corridors. They were the kind that had more security. After they got their luggage to their room, Tara took a shower. Jax took a shower after her. He helpfully left the bathroom door open, but Tara wasn't in the mood to watch a Jax Teller shower show.

He actually was trying the same moves from before by walking into the bedroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist because he'd forgotten his clothes.

"Forget your clothes again?"

"Yeah. I'm used to just walking around without worrying about clothes."

"I guess I'm lucky that you even bothered to wrap a towel around yourself."

"Yeah, I always considered nudity part of my charm," Jax said with a grin.

"And your showering ability. Women would pay to see that."

"Good to know," Jax said laughing. "I'll get back in the shower if you want to lather me up."

"I've got something even better planned for you. Hurry up and get dressed."

"You sure I need to get dressed?"

Tara just gave him a look. Jax was always thinking about sex. When she'd been young and madly in love, she'd liked his one track mind. As a real full-grown adult woman, she found it less charming.

Tara was sitting on the bed, her back against the golden quilted headboard. When she saw him she jumped to her feet. The look in her eye immediately told Jax that Tara wasn't thinking about sex.

"When that Hummer was behind us today and I thought it was going to shove our SUV off the road into the ravine, all I could think of was why? Why is all this happening? It's the STDs doesn't explain it all. How stupid do you think I am?"

"Tara you know I think you're smart," Jax said carefully.

"Then quit treating me like I'm an idiot. I don't believe for a second that an MC guy has all the skills you do. You aren't just Jax Teller MC VP. There's a hell of a lot more to you than that. We may not get out of this alive. You at least owe me the truth about what the hell you really are and what is really going on."

Jax ran his hand over his beard and thought about what she'd said. He'd been thinking about telling her the truth. She was right. He owed her that much especially since her life was on the line.

"OK. I'll tell you. You're right. I owe you an explanation."

"I want the truth," Tara said. She was a little stunned that Jax had agreed so quickly. She suspected a trick.

"I'll give you the truth."


	70. Chapter 70

3

**Twenty-One Days **

**CHAPTER 70**

**DAY 9: **

"

_**Author's Note: Still haven't finished chapter review and day correction counter, but I have been laying out the upcoming chapters. I hope to post shorter more frequent chapters.**_

_**"**_

Tara was suspicious of how quickly Jax had agreed to tell her what was really going on with him. She expected him to lie to her or deceive her in some way. She just couldn't bring herself to trust him to be truthful.

"Long story or short?"

"Long. I may never get this chance again. I want to know everything," Tara said.

"Fair enough," Jax said. It would feel good to tell Tara what he'd gone through in the past ten years. He was proud of the man he'd become and he was proud of what he was about to do.

He leaned against the long dresser. Tara sat on the bed her back against the headboard, her legs curled under her.

"I was pretty introspective for awhile after you left. I found my father's manuscript and was thinking a lot about the purpose of the MC. Clay was leading us into more and more criminal enterprises. I wasn't VP then. Ox was VP."

"Ox?"

"He was a transfer from Tucson. He was a pretty good guy, but he went along with Clay too much."

"Is he still in SAMCRO?"

"No, he got killed doing a headstand on his bike on the freeway."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Nope. He'd been doing it on the streets of Charming. One day, he decided to do it on the freeway and film it. He made one mistake. He didn't check out the pavement before and he hit a broken piece of freeway making his bike shake. He fell off, rolled underneath a semi and got squashed."

"That's crazy."

"Yeah, but everyone thought he was the coolest guy ever. He had a huge funeral. Hale almost had a nervous breakdown over the number of bikers riding through the city," Jax chuckled at the memory.

"I'm sure some citizens were scared."

"They had reason to be. We're not outlaw bikers because we park in the red zones."

For a few seconds, Jax felt carefree again reliving some of the fun times with the MC. It was those times that he yearned for and would miss. Sometimes, it was those good times that made him question what he was going to do.

"I know you always loved that brotherhood feeling."

"Yeah, I did," Jax said, "until everything went to hell."

"What happened?"

"This guy Nero and his Byz Lats, that's the name of his crew, owed money for guns and gave us a piece of his business—an escort agency."

"So the MC became pimps," Tara said, disapproval in her voice.

"Yeah. We loved it. We got free pussy and it gave us another place to hang out besides the clubhouse. Over time, I started to see it a little differently. The women became more than a push toy. What was free to us, wasn't free to them. Nero didn't give a damn about us screwing his hookers. It didn't cost him, but when they were with us, they couldn't make money."

"Did you figure out they hookers don't love sex and can't get enough of it?" Tara asked with a sarcastic edge to their voices.

"Yeah," Jax said. "I did. This one girl told me that she hadn't enjoyed sex in years. She pretends, but she doesn't have much sensation in that area anymore. She doesn't even enjoy sex with her boyfriend. She told me she wonders if she'll enjoy it again if she quits being a hooker."

"She didn't even enjoy sex with you?" Tara asked incredulously.

"Yeah, imagine that," Jax said drily. "There's a price when a girl has sex with ten to twelve guys a day."

"I'm surprised she was that frank with you."

"Since I learned that it cha . . ."

Jax's phone rang. He walked over to it and looked at the number.

"I need to take this," Jax said.

He walked into the bathroom and shut the door. Tara crept to the door to see if she could overhear the conversation. Almost as though he knew exactly what she was doing, he turned on the shower drowning out any chance she could hear that conversation.

What the hell was so confidential that he was taking spy level care to keep her from hearing?

"

_**Author's Note: The part about a guy doing a headstand on a motorcycle while he was riding it on the freeway wasn't made up. I saw it online. The cops were trying to catch this guy and failed. I have no idea how it's even possible, but I saw it with my own eyes. He didn't crash or die. That's the part I made up.**_

_**If you're interested, I'm sure you can find it on YouTube. I don't remember the exact search terms. I think it just appeared in my newsfeed.**_


End file.
